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  1.  
    • RoxanneR88
      CommentAuthorRoxanneR88
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi everyone, sorry to be a pain but i really need to vent a bit as getting stressed out! Please do tell me if I am in the wrong.

    I am having 4 bridesmaids (my sisters ) and my best friend as MOH. I took 2 of my sisters to look at bm dresses on Monday, didnt invite moh as she had said only a few days previous that she works every Sunday and monday. Now she's giving me the cold shoulder because she was off this particular monday and said she felt left out! I made a group conversation on fb with all 4 bms and MOH included and was keeping them all up to date with how the day was going. My other 2 sisters said they didnt feel left out as the understood the reasons why (my one sister is moving to scotland this week, so wanted her to have the dress shopping experience). It just feels like MOH is throwing her toys out the pram, I've tried contacting her on numerous occasions and haven't been able to get any response. Sorry for the rant but just needed to vent xx
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Tell her to grow up and get a grip! She should stop being so childish and realize what an idiot she's being.. Honestly, some people! xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  3.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah she needs to grow up and realise this wedding isn't about her it's about you.

    You did nothing wrong, how were you to know that after saying she works every Sunday and Monday that she happened to have that Monday off work.




  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Why do MOHs do this? They feel it's all about them, it's not like she won't get that experience with you also. She needs to understand this and remember that she told you she works on that day. It's her problem she did not say she had the day off

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Not sure why she is upset if you were keeping in contact with going on. I've done the same with FB group so they all know whats going on. My main MOH lives in Portsmouth so when we chat she does say she wish she could experience more of whats going on but she doesn't feel angry about it. Have a chat with her and see if there is maybe something underlying thats maybe not helped it.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  6.  
    • RoxanneR88
      CommentAuthorRoxanneR88
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks all, I was getting paranoid that I had done something wrong and started blaming myself. I have tried contacting her on numerous occasions to see if she can meet me in town so she can see the dresses we looked at and also have her measurements done. I haven't heard anything xx
  7.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd just leave it for a while now, hopefully she will realise she is being very silly.




  8.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
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    I can kind of see her side, in that it wouldn't have hurt to ask her even if she said no, but she is being very childish with her reaction since.
    Could you arrange another trip with her, explaining that you assumed she'd be at work so you were planning on going another day with her?
  9.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Have you chosen BM dresses from your shopping trip with 2 BMs? If so I can see why she'd be a bit miffed. ARe you only able to go shopping sun/monday? or are you able to go other days she doesn't work?
    However its not your fault and she is being a bit childish especially since you explained your reasons for going on that particular day.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  10.  
    • RoxanneR88
      CommentAuthorRoxanneR88
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I had spoken to her the friday before going and i said that to get everyone together would be difficult as my one sister can only have Sundays and Mondays off, which she said blimming typical, i always work sunday and Monday. We haven't chosen the dresses but I wanted to get all their opinions on the dresses. O have tried contacting loads of times, I've had one reply saying to count her in for the 31st which is great and then another message last night saying "you been wedding shopping today? Which confused me as I hadnt even gone out the house. Had booked my honeymoon the previous day but thats nothing to do with her being MOH xx
  11.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think she is probably thinking 'I'm MOH I should have been there first before BMs' even though they are your sisters, she will come round if she is a true friend she will get over herself and realise she is being silly.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  12.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I can see why she is upset, because she wanted to have that first experience with you too. I would probably have felt left out as well, but you're not a mind reader and you weren't to know she was actually off work that day. She should get over it though, her behaviour and attitude now is out of line x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  13.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
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    Surely if you'd only spoken to her about it the week before she could have easily said ''typical, I always work Sundays and Mondays-but I have this Monday off, is she free then?''

    That's what I would have said :/ it all seems a bit fishy to me

    Yes I understand she wanted that first experience with you, but at the end of the day she is really overreacting and being selfish.




  14.  
    • Mrs Richardson 2B x
      CommentAuthorMrs Richardson 2B x
      Got married 27 months ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You're not psychic are you? Is that what you're not telling us because that's the only way I can see you knowing she didn't have work and was free to go without actually telling you even though you spoke to her a few days before! Tell her to stop acting like such a big girls blouse, wined her neck in and get a grip, there will be other dress days she can go to, and she is after all, your MOH!!xx

    Members signature icon
    Found my soulmate & bestfriend 23/08/2011
    Got engaged 23/08/2012
    And I become Mrs Richardson 11/10/2017
    CRAZY EXCITED!!!!!xx
  15.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
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    I think it's about time some people realised being bridesmaid or maid of honour is just that an honour not a right.

    Yes don't get me wrong that doesn't mean that we can walk all over them, brides should treat their bridesmaids with respect but the same goes for them with us.




  16.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Weddings really do bring the worst out in people. Lol.
    It's madness.
    To play the devils advocate I can sympathise with her. When my sil was getting married she refused to let me help out in any way shape or form. My daughter was two at the time and she was bridesmaid and took her bridesmaid shopping without my consent. I felt frustrated that my MIL had just let my SIL just take DD out and take her shopping. If any involvement at all I just wanted to see my daughter in her dress and help her try some on but she'd taken that away from me too.

    My point being its a horrid feeling when you feel like mpirtant things and decisions are being made without you. It's a really childish thing to say I know, and I know I ned to 'grow up' but I couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy and frustration.

    Now SIL probably did it deliberately to spite me- she's amazing at doing that- but I know you didn't mean to upset or hurt you MOH. Take her on a special trip to view dresses or accessories or shoes. She is your MOH after all, give her a special something to do.
    Don't worry il work itself out. Xxxx

    Members signature icon
    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  17.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ps sorry for typos. Not used to my partners ipad... :-/

    Members signature icon
    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  18.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ^^I think the problem is though Stephanie, her MOH is now refusing to talk to her. I can sort of understand why she is upset, but she should have told her she had that Monday off, instead of the Friday before saying she works every Monday... and she's making it very difficult for her to actually try and do anything nice with her to make up for it by not getting in touch and refusing to talk to her.

    I hope it all works itself out




  19.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I said she was 'childish' because she is being a child by ignoring someone's friend is ridiculous over a couple of dresses not because she didn't take her with her. There are worse things going on in the world...

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  20.  
    • CamilaL
      CommentAuthorCamilaL
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 18th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think your MOH should be there to support you, not to be a problem. Of course she could get upset, but there are tons of ways to tell the bride you're upset and there's no reason to just ignore the bride!!!
    If she is truly your friend, she will totally understand. Don't get worried, just go on with your plans.
  21.  
    • RoxanneR88
      CommentAuthorRoxanneR88
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 19th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Im not saying at all that she had no right to be upset, its the after math of that, not being able to get hold of her to arrange to go shopping just me and her. Because there are so many bms its difficult to get everyone together at the same time, snd noone else has had any problems me going with the others and not them etc. At the moment this is the only thing really stressing me out about my big day, and really not getting excited about looking for bm dresses in case I upset her! Surely it shouldn't be like that. I know there's more important things going on in the world and I probably shouldn't be moaning. But I'd rather do it here rather than say to her what I really would like to! Haha.
    Thank you all for being so understanding and supportive xxx
 
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