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Wedding Stationery > R.S.V.P's: Moaning would be guests!

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- CommentAuthorMrsToniKB
We sent out our Day time invitation's end of November 2016, I've only had 5 back mainly my side of the family, im not too worried about them coming back quickly as I've put 28th February as return by date, but when I asked my nan about whether she's coming or not she replied with im not sure yet as your getting married on a Thursday! and people may not be able to have time off work?to be honest that shocked me as she's been retired for over 20 years so I don't see how it applies to my nan and granddad, my granddad said to take no notice he will come with or with out her, I feel a bit annoyed as she's know its a Thursday for over a year and half ago when we booked it and further confirmed with our save the dates! ill be really upset if she doesn't come, she can be a pain but I love her to bits I hope she changes her mind!
then I have other guests moaning about the menu choices which we have paid extra for everyone to have a choice of each course, asking if they can order of the children's menu (adults) and asking if they can have something completely different?? I thought when a menu is sent you choose off that menu? im sure they are just trying to cause me more stress!
has anyone else had issues with there R.S.V.P any silly requests or is it just me?

finally became Mrs B 22nd June 2017!!
- CommentAuthorTiffany
I've had people moaning about the fact that we are getting married on the Friday of a bank holiday, why that makes any difference I don't know.

Some have moaned that we are having a buffet instead of a sit down meal and that one table will be strictly 'free from' only and any guests that can eat 'normal' foods are not to touch. (I am gluten free, so are some of our guests and our youngest has a lot off allergies, we get very ill if anything is contaminated so I have had to be strict) one even had the nerve to tell me to take a pack up to my own wedding!

I got sick of hearing it so started telling people if it was that much a problem to not bother coming because as long as I was marrying the man of my dreams I couldn't care less who was there to share it with us. They soon shut up.

My advice regarding the menu would be telling them (unless they have allergies) they have to pick one or the other or pay for there own food. (OH's cousin did this and it worked for them)
- CommentAuthorEmily17
Toni, thats such a shame about your nan. It would break my heart if a retired family member said that. My uncle may not be coming but that is because of really poor health and he lives quite far away so understandable..

About the menu tell them to button it. That an invite gives them the option to come or not so if they feel that strongly they know what to say.
Love Tiffanys idea of telling them to arrange with the venue and pay for their own food!

Tiffany, cant believe they would say that when it is your health!!!

Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
- CommentAuthorFayeH
If I were you, when you get complaints from people i'd say something like "I'm so sorry to hear that, it will be a shame if you can't attend." in a monotone voice. Then just rinse and repeat over and over. It says to them that there's the option that they don't have to attend if they don't want to without being rude, but offers no solution to their invented problem, so you don't have to do anything to accommodate them off the back of it. There's no reason people should complain about your menu options unless they have genuine health reasons/allergies or are vegetarians and those things aren't provided for.

As for your nan, from what you've written it sounds like your nan wanted to make a point about it being impolite to have a wedding on weekday, and decided to make that point by suggesting she won't attend. I think it's unlikely that this is actually the case. Maybe some of your aunts/extended family have been griping about having to book time off? It would probably be worth pointing out to her that Saturday weddings are significantly more expensive and nowadays it isn't uncommon to get married on a weekday.
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
How rude.

The older generation can sometimes be a little odd, try not to read too much into it, I'm sure she'll come round, especially if your grandad is on side.

As for moaning guests, they should be grateful for the invitation and be gracious in their response. Basically they have an option, pick off the set menu and inform you if there are any allergies. Or, they decline the invite. They need to be reminded of that.

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

- CommentAuthorWizbit89
I would try not to worry about the dig about a weekday too much, to this date my nan has told me I am too fat for the dresses ive tried. she hates my flowers, my invites look like the printer ran out of ink (they're watercolour) and this is the tip of the iceburg. I think they like to feel they are being heard,

As for food tell them they don't have to eat if they don't like it.. I just don't understand the audacity of people being invited somewhere moaning about provided meals. We are having a set menu with no other options as we cant afford another option, they can like it or lump it as far as I am concerned, the only thing I am catering for is special dietary requirements as this cant be helped.

maybe I am a little harsh though but like you I am following the principle that I am marrying the person I love and I should in theory only have this day once, so they can play ball or leave but I am not going to get upset about them :)

x bride.zilla over here hahahaha
- CommentAuthorStaceyH989
So sorry your Nan is being like this Toni, I'm sure she will come around. I'm not sending my invites out till next year but I am putting my mobile number on mine so people have to deal with me directly. We have two choices and have kept in mind those who may have special requirements so the food can easily be adapted.

I agree with all the ladies above its your day and its about marrying the person you love if all they are going to do is complain they obviously aren't worth the time of day :)
- CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
Wow i cant believe how rude and unkind people have been! I have a nan who sounds similar to yours, shes now not coming!

People should be grateful they are coming, no matter what day, time, meal they get. Its a privilege to be asked - when its their wedding they can plan it on a saturday with every meal type they want. This is your day exactly how you want it.

Im a Thursday wedding and sending my invites out next week, dreading moany people coming back complaining and having to chase RSVPs!! xx

Met In Lanzarote April 2013
Engaged In Rome February 2016
Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
- CommentAuthorVelcro
I didn't tell people what they were eating, we made our choices and no one asked. MIL moaned about it being a hot buffet not a sit down meal, but she moaned about everything lol - didnt want a sit down meal as I find they always seem to drag on abit

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
- CommentAuthorMrsToniKB
Thanks ladies you have made me feel a lot better about the situation!! Your right if they don't like it don't come I can always invite someone who would be greatful to be part of our day!
I've spoken to the H2B about it and he agrees unless they have a special dietary requirements then they will just have to choose out of what's provided! So at least I have him on my side :)
I think I need to be a bit tougher and stating it our day and it's what we have chosen to do, weddings are so stressful and at the end of it all it's about our marriage and what makes us happy not everyone else! (I just have to keep remembering that and not try to please everyone else)
Thanks everyone I'm so glad you are all here to help :) xx

finally became Mrs B 22nd June 2017!!
- CommentAuthorNicoleW665
i agree with everything here, i'm tired of people complaining, even about my hen do, i'm not holding a gun and forcing them to come and i'm planning my own so i'm not bothered about catering to everyone!! one of them is my BM and she is also engaged and has said she is doing a particular thing for her hen do and if people don't like it then tough (which is fine) but then she goes ahead and complains about mine because it is d1sn3y themed and she isn't a princessy kind of person!!!!!

and again with the menu, he have a meat choice and a veg choice, if you don't want those you don't eat aha

i think more guests need to realise it isn't their day if they wan't something a certain way then by all means have it like that for their wedding but they can't choose your day x

When we met: August 2009
When we announced engagement: December 2015
When we will get married: September 2017
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
We found out after our wedding that hubby's great uncle and aunt had asked for different options as food was brought to the table, for example for a starter they asked to have the soup that was for the children instead of the adult starter. It was a set menu, same for everyone, and we'd asked for dietary requirements with the RSVPs so that we could tell the chef where different food was needed. We had a few gluten intolerants, two vegetarians, and one adult with a very restricted diet who we had to cater separately for. The hotel were so helpful, even rescuing a cake that a friend had done when when the icing hadn't worked, but I was very impressed that they had accommodated this particular couple, who had no dietary issues that we knew of. They were just being demanding, which was surprising as they were normally lovely people.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
Don't worry, it's not just you!! We got married on a Saturday and people still had issues! We had everything from people not wanting what was on the menu - out of three choices per course - and going ahead and suggesting a special menu just for them (errr how about no) to 'I'd like to come but I don't know how I'm going to get there'. I think it's part of it sadly! You'll appreciate the people who are there on the day though xxxx
- CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Our choices were salmon, lamb or veg, yet we still ended up getting 5 people chicken lol, and on the day we had 2 people insist they ordered something completely different than what they did. Even though I have all the rsvp cards. I guess thats what happens when you are catering for 100 people lol xx

The Richardson's 31/12/16
- CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
Louise we also had the "how will we get there" "its nye" despite they had 18 months notice xx

The Richardson's 31/12/16
- CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Food is always an issue and this is something my OH and I just cannot agree on re the menu-! As we have 100 guests the venue had said we can only have a meat and veggie choice for starter and main- starter we can agree on- mains however- I really want beef but OH is like his sister doesn't eat it so thinks we should have chicken- chicken to me is a mid week meal and I want something nicer for my wedding breakfast! At this rate I can see me as being the one not eating at my own wedding! Lol
- CommentAuthorLoz K
Toni people should definitely be grateful to be able to enjoy in your day - those who want to be there will be there, no matter what day of the week it is!

As for menu choices, more and more nowadays people are having sit-down meals rather than a buffet and all of the ones I have attended give you either a meat or a veg option - you don't get to choose what you want from the menu, you go for one or the other and you like it or lump it! If those people are going to make a fuss then they shouldn't be allowed to share in your special day.

Michelle, I agree, your wedding breakfast should be something a little bit more special than chicken! We're going for pork belly - because it's a favourite of ours and people either go for that or they go for the veg option, or go without!! (tough love :-) )
- CommentAuthorWizbit89
maybe ask the venue nicely if they will do you beef haha, what do the guests need to know lol

we are having a very relaxed sit down meal
Mezze platters to start with one meat and one veggie per table so cheese, meats pickles etc
Sausage and mash for main - veggie or meat sausages depending on diet and all the rest is veggie and gluten free anyway
Trifle for dessert - probably traditional sherry -

although I have just realised my BIL gf is vegan not veggie so this could cause us some issues with both the starter and the main (cheese etc, butter in the mash) what a lot of effort!
- CommentAuthorMichelleC961
Food is always a nightmare as you always get fussy people- Out of interest Toni- what are your choices for people to wants kids menu? They really must none fussy eaters!
- CommentAuthorKathleenO17
We haven't got to picking a menu yet but I can't believe some of the responses people have had.

I am a very fussy eater but I have never thought to question a menu choice. I don't think I have ever been giving a choice at a wedding breakfast before maybe meat or veg on the day but I have never known in advance what the menu was going to be and being fussy like me means sometimes I do dread set menus but I know they are part and parcel of events and we will be having one for ours too and people won't get a choice.

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