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Wedding Forum - Mental brakedown :'( just needed to vent/...

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  1.  
    • Tiffany
      CommentAuthorTiffany
      Got married 31 months ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    What should we do? (sorry its a long one)
    We are ment to be getting married this August.
    We have had the wedding booked since last May and everything was going well. I got my dress 3 days after OH popped the question in April (appointment was to look at prices as we hadn’t set a date but I got carried away…oops) and shortly followed my veil, flowers, shoes, garter and everyone else’s flowers.
    Then everything (life) started going wrong.
    Our baby started reacting to his milk and we had to fight with the GP to listen to us. When we started weaning he was reacting to more stuff having anaphylactic reactions. Due to this I gave up work. They are starting to re-introduce the foods into my son’s next month and I’m scared to death that he is going to react badly again.
    My dad found out his brain is dying and they don’t know why. It’s affecting his personality and most days now he is either horrible (told me I had to lose my baby weight because no one could love a fat bride!) or he’s like a hyper child.
    My grandad was rushed in due to being extremely poorly and they found an infection in his heart, blood and bone morrow. The medicine he was on has caused life changing complications.
    Our home flooded due to a leak and we now have to replace OH's 8yr old's bedroom stuff.
    We are having problems with the 8yr old but that's another story.
    My OH’s hours have been cut to less than half of what he was doing when we booked everything for the wedding and now the only way we can afford to get married is if the BM’s and GM pay for their own outfits and if we cut down on everything.
    I am Autistic and have Asperger’s syndrome along with other mental issues, the added stress of the wedding has sent everything into overload and I am not coping well at all. I am having anxiety attacks daily, crying at everything, have lost loads of weight and struggling to cope with our 1yr old son.
    Part of me wants to cancel/move the wedding and part of me doesn’t. OH just keeps saying he will sort it and that everything seems worse because I am hormonal, emotional and I'm not liking the not knowing of things I have no control over. Family and friends are trying to help but it’s just making me feel worse. I’m worried if we carry on with the wedding the stress will put me in hospital.
  2.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you need to look at, what happens if you postpone everything with your venue etc, will you lose money? If all it means is that the bms and gm need to pay for their outfits, that's no great loss. I asked all our adult ones to pay for their own as well.if they are friends they will understand why you are asking them to do so.

    Personally, I think you should go ahead, just to put a positive note on everything,

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  3.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    Sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I think it's enough to affect anyone regardless of whether they have medical conditions.

    As GF says you need to weigh up the cost of cancelling or postponing. Also, never lose sight of the reason for your wedding. It's not about having a bigger fancier day than the next person with all the little extras which to be honest most people forget about after the event, it's about marrying the one you love. So, as lovely as it can be to have certain things at your wedding maybe it's good to cut them out or cut down on. You can still have an amazing special day without certain things. This pressure on brides soemtimes to have a wedding day in a certain way is unnecessary. Family and friends will understand and I'm sure will help out where they are able to - you may need to be a little flexible on the outfits if BMs and GM to pay for their outfits (like style/colour and price). It will give you something nice and positive to look forward to. Maybe go for a smaller wedding? Less day guests if your venue allows? Then more for the evening reception which would be cheaper. There's lots of options available to you, you just need to go through them all.

    xxx

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  4.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Oh Tiffany, I'm so sorry your having such a horrible time at the moment.

    I agree with the ladies above, look at all your options and then decide. I'm sure your friends and family will understand with everything your going through. Just remember the day is about you, your OH and your LO. Some people forget that a wedding is about the couple and how much of a honour it is to be invited to one and share in their special day.

    Keep your chin up hun, we are all here if you need us :) xx
  5.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
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    You definitely have a lot on your plate. Definitely check what would happen if you change the date or cancel. Simplifying everything might make it more manageable. I hope your son's condition improves.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  6.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you def need to work out the miney you would lose- what about scaling the wedding back and just having very close family and friends, simple and then you don't need yo stress about other people, it will just be yiu and your loved ones- really hope yiu can sort things out x

    Members signature icon



  7.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    My personal opinion is that you go ahead too, try and turn all of that negativity into positivity and have a fantastic day xx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  8.  
    • Tiffany
      CommentAuthorTiffany
      Got married 31 months ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for your support everyone, it really does mean a lot.

    OH rang my mum and told her how badly I had broke down and that he was really worried about me. She dragged me to the GP today and I was diagnosed with PND (sounds like I've had it since baby was born). Hopefully once the medication has kicked in I will be feeling better about everything.

    Work have given my OH a few days off work to 'keep an eye' on me, so he has sat and worked out how much we would lose if we moved the date or cancelled and it works out we would lose more than what we have left to pay.

    Tomorrow, while my mum has the baby, we are going to sit and look at what we can cut down on and my Auntie is going to sort out a food list and order the meats we want for us (she has even said she is paying and not taking no for an answer).
  9.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2017
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    Ahhhh glad it's still going ahead and that people are helping out. Everyone will be more than willing to help I'm sure,

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  10.  
    • FutureMrsW
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Tiffany sorry to hear things have been or rough for you as late but glad that things are on the up now! So glad to hear you got help from the gp, that is the most important thing, you will soon be feeling much better and will love having the wedding to look forward to!

    Remember it it is still seven months away and a lot can change in that time, h2b getting more hours, little one doing well with reintroduced food, 8yo's room and things all sorted maybe. Try not to let every worry overwhelm you (easier said than done I know :) x




  11.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2017
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    Glad you seem to have a supportive family and OH. Youll get through this and come out a stronger MARRIED! couple :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  12.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2017
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    Glad that things seem a bi better- take 1 day at a time, keep your loved ones close and talk about it- the minute you sop talking and bottling emotions up the harder things are- it's soo true that a problem shared is a problem halved

    Members signature icon



  13.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2017
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    Glad to hear things now seem to be getting better x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  14.  
    • Wizbit89
      CommentAuthorWizbit89
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sorry you are having such a rough time but It sounds like in that short time you have made massive progress, finding out about the PND and getting some medication could make a massive difference to you and its a big step to take.

    its also so lovely to hear you have such a lovely cushion of support around you. I think from what you have said it sounds as though it will all come together, maybe not as you expected it though :)

    Good luck and look after yourself that is the most important thing x
  15.  
    • Tiffany
      CommentAuthorTiffany
      Got married 31 months ago
      Posted: Jan 30th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks everyone.

    Having a really bad day today. Can't stop shaking or crying. Had 4 anxiety attacks since 7am (currently having another one as I type), so waiting for a call off my GP.

    Could just sleep all day but home alone with the baby so that's not going to happen.
  16.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 30th 2017
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    Oh bless you Tiffany. Maybe try focusing on just one thing with all senses when an attack is going on. It can be a small piece of food that you don't just eat, you look at it in detail and notice how it looks, feel the texture, smell it. It sounds like your family are rallying round. If you've just started medication it might make you up and down for a while, but it will settle.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

 
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