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  1.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Sooo!

    On Monday night I got a huge text from one of my bridesmaids (while I was at work so I had plenty of time to stress over it :/) Shes been the only bridesmaid to stress me out too actually. She's always been to and from hospital with some kind of problem, and when I asked her to be a bridesmaid she said she was waiting for an operation (which was booked for this month) but should be completely fine by the time of the wedding. She worked it out she would need her crutches for 6-8 weeks which would mean she was off them just in good time of the wedding, phew!

    Nowww... This text basically said the hospital had postponed her operation until MARCH and would definitely be on crutches. Without sounding awful, I don't want crutches in my wedding photos?! But that's not the problem... Then she said she could be given a cancellation at any time and have it with no notice, could be next week, or a week before the wedding! Apparently if it was at the middle or end of March, she may not even be able to make the wedding AT ALL and wouldn't be very mobile. (Think it's a hip operation)

    From then, she said if you want to find someone else I completely understand. Reading that at work just made me think 'Oh f** sakeee' followed by lots of stomping round so I didnt really say much back. I did reply though saying it wasn't as simple as finding somebody else now, that I had a £180 already-paid-for dress and not only that, but the hair accessories and everything to go with it! I've spent so much money on gifts, £25 each jewellery set for 3 bridesmaids just to start! I know I could have been a little nicer but it was big shock especially to get in the middle of a shift.

    I text her the next day apologising if I came across harshly and asked what the likelihood of her being able to manage as a part OF the wedding being a bridesmaid was. She then said its basically a 50/50 chance of being able to be included or even attending as a guest! From then I just realised the odds weren't high enough; to get alterations for the dress to fit her, get to March and her not being mobile enough to even attend. It then moved onto her saying she didn't want to me to be stressing over it and she really doesn't want to let me down.

    A short version of my reply was along the lines of saying it wasn't her fault its all messed up now so she knew I hadn't fallen out with her etc, us both agreeing that its best to find a replacement sooner rather than later, that she recovers well and can actually come even as a guest and not to take any of it to heart! Of course I ended it with me apologising and saying I'd still include her as much as I can.

    After that my cousin (older cousin, another BM) asked if she thought it was better for me to cut my losses or to find another as a replacement. I said I'd rather have a replacement as we had so much trouble getting the third BM dress (in a previous post on my planning thread!) The only person I could think of was my 15 year old (little) cousin. She did actually want to be a bridesmaid earlier on and was really disappointed she wasn't one when I asked my 3rd BM (older cousin) later than the others as we'd fallen out the year before.

    Anyway... I've got an empty dress for the time being. Ive text my auntie explaining in short form and if she's ok with having LC as a new bridesmaid. LC is also in New York on a school trip (jealous?!) so I thought it would be a nice surprise to ask her when she's back. I can't see my auntie having a problem with anything, I just wanted to ask out of courtesy really. So fingers crossed the rest goes well!

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  2.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Not the best thing to hear about when you are at work but at least it has been resolved without you and your friend falling out. I hope she has the op in time to come to your wedding.

    I'd say your cousin will be over the moon when she comes back from NY (I'm jealous too!). I'm kinda pleased I only have one bridesmaid... unless she drops out of course then I'm on my own! lol x

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  3.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Oh wow. That's gutting for the both of you but at least you were able to come to a mutual agreement and not fall out over it.. it's just very unfortunate but obviously her health has got to come first which you both recognise! I really hope she can make it as a guest. You're right though, you couldn't just wait and see what happened as it would cause you a lot of stress with everything all up in the air!! Fingers crossed your cousin says yes! Would the dress fit her or would it need alterations? And what about shoes? x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Oh no,

    It's a shame that sh cannot do it, but getting an operation is so hard nowadays that she cannot really put it off. I'm sure she feels horrid she has to say no. To it, but hopefully your cousin will be up for it.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Me too! I've wished her well and for her to recover properly so she can at least come as a guest. Was an awful/nerving/worring 24 hours!

    Originally I thought she might be offended that was she wasn't a BM in the first place, then thought the most she'll say is 'I should been one anyway lol' But I can imagine she'll be really excited :)

    Fingers crossed yours hangs about then Emma lol!

    The dress will be too big Floss, its probably around a size 10 and shes just a skinny 15 year old haha. Tbh they need alterations anyway, or at least this one did as she'd lost weight on a restricted diet. Might just get them to try each others on and see whats the best fit for each of them :/ x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  6.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    So sorry to hear this all, sounds very stressful and I'm also glad you sorted it without any fallouts. I hope your friend is well enough to attend the wedding.




  7.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    She'll only need shoes and she'll enjoy having a reason shopping for some I'm sure!

    Ill just have to let she shop asap and also the girl doing our hair and makeup as we have a pamper day booked in 2 days before the wedding. x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  8.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Easier to take the dress in than out. Hopefully it will be altered enough to fit your cousin,

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  9.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Yeah, at least the dress will have to be taken in rather than let out so will be straight forward :) I didn't know if your bms had matching shoes which is why I asked about shoes.. but if she can just choose her own pair then brill! She might even have an appropriate pair already x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  10.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Oh no not matching, just silver :) Cant wait for my auntie to text me back lol, she must be at work! x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    There will be added excitement now as the wedding is so close :) will be a bit of a whirlwind for her but she will love it!! x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  12.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Awww that will be great for her.

    When does she get back from her trip?




  13.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Sounds like a rollercoaster but I am glad it is all sorted now :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  14.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    My auntie just text back saying she'll be over the moon and she gets back tomorrow. Only trouble is I'm working now until Sunday :/

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  15.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Wish I was in NY :-( lucky her lol
    Hope shes happy to be your bridesmaid :-)

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  16.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Don't worry about it-there's still no rush, take her out on Sunday or ask her over the phone if you really want a response straight away




  17.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Awwwww at least she knows she will be happy about it

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  18.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Just drop her a text or something if you're desperate to ask her! :) x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  19.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Such a shame but at least it is sorted out with some time to spare rather than a few weeks or days before the wedding! Plus you will have a very happy and excited little cousin :) x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  20.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Mu auntie is gunna pick me up tomorrow when shes back so I can go round theirs! yey! x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  21.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    That'll be nice, is she keeping quiet so you can ask yourself?

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  22.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Yeah she is! Ill probably burst lol. She better cry with excitement ;) x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  23.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Haha, excellent. I'm sure she will

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  24.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Aww I can't wait to hear her reaction :)




  25.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
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    Me too. Keep us updated x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  26.  
    • RachaelW54
      CommentAuthorRachaelW54
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 22nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    You two must have a great friendship for you both to be so understanding, its nice to see because i know some people would lose it and never speak to them again. Are you thinking of involving her in any other kind of way if she can attend the wedding as a guest? Very intrigued to see what your cousin says too, bet she'll be super excited. I wouldnt worry about the dresses either, alterations can be easily made x
  27.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    I'm praying this doesn't happen to me April as my BM is going in for a knee op feb 2nd and depending on the outcome could be on crutches.... Like you, she kinda has been the stressful one as was originally contemplating going to Canada and missing my wedding completely! I'm sure your lil cousin will be over e moon xx

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  28.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    I made an extra effort to word it properly and spent half hour between each text to make sure it sounded nice enough and that I didn't just want to sack her! it was a careful process lol. It sounds a bit funny, but I'm just thankful she suggested getting a replacement in the first place otherwise it could have been much worse!

    Oh AH fingers crossed it all goes smoothly! Our problem was the hospital changing her op date but I hope it all stays as is! We decided on decorating the crutches in our colour ribbon, you could do that if needs be lol! xx

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  29.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Haha yeah good plan. I thought about a sacking early on when the Canada thing happened. But she stuck around and is looking forward to it! I'm loving th ribbon idea though thanks lovely! Hopefully we will be crutch free too though! Sounds like you did the right thing hun x

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  30.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    The biggest thing for me was that she wasn't excited about being a bridesmaid, all she mentioned was her operation or being on crutches. It really annoyed my cousin too and she'd text me within seconds saying she was doing her head in! (We had a what'[email protected] group for them) The other 2 were excited about their dresses and the hen and actually obviously looking forward to it! Oh, she couldn't go to my hen either because she always complained about money. Lots of things annoyed me about it all really. I wish her well with her operation and recovery, but I'm quite glad I managed to get a replacement tbh. X

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  31.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Maybe she was just stressed about her upcoming op which took away from her excitement about being bridesmaid. It must be a stressful and worrying time for her. At least you've managed to work it out though and don't need to worry about it anymore :) she can focus on her op and recovering and you can focus on getting excited for the wedding! Eeee :) x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  32.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    So glad its worked out for both of you and your friendship remains in tact

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  33.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Yeah to be honest it's probably for the best the decision you've made. Plus your cousin sounds as if she'll be very excited about being a BM! Have fun asking her :) x

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  34.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    I'm very excited to go round! X

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  35.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Well, my little cousin was very surprised. So surprised I don't think she believed me at first lol! She's very very excited now and I told her she just needs shoes. Her mouth actually dropped haha! Was cute :) my auntie is really pleased for her too I think. She's looking forward to seeing me, her daughter and my older cousin all together. The 3 cousins! There are a few more of us mind but were the best ones! Haha. X

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  36.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Aww bless her. Glad she said yes and is excited! X

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  37.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    So glad she said yes and is as excited as you hoped :) x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  38.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    When I've finished my cleaning I'm gunna look for some silver shoes! Just as suggestions, I said they don't have to match so she can choose what she likes :) x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  39.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    I would have thought n3w l00k would be a good bet. Its a shame christmas has just gone as I bet there were lots of silver ones about then. Although you might be lucky and find some in the sale :)

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  40.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    The best places were NL, DP and next! DP ones were gorgeous but had limited sizes. I was looking with my other bridesmaid a week or two ago x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  41.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I love DP shoes! x

    Members signature icon
    Met 29/3/2006
    Engaged 24/8/13
    Married 26th August 2016
  42.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    They have the most silvery, sparkly shoesss! X

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  43.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Brilliant, glad she is happy

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  44.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Glad she is pleased x

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  45.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 23rd 2015
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    Aww glad she is pleased




  46.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Posted: Jan 24th 2015
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    Yay! Back to original numbers now then xx

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
  47.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2015
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    It's a shame for your friend but lovely that your cousin gets a chance, especially at 15 when it's something that lots of girls dream of. Hopefully your friend can still get there. Maybe she can decorate her crutches in wedding colours. I had a wheelchair bound bridesmaid, as my SIL has severe cerebral palsy, and her mum covered her chair with cream material and put ribbons on it in wedding colours.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  48.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 24th 2015
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    Awww that's lovely Elinor. Great that you included her.




  49.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
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    Yeah we thought of that too :) I bet your SIL felt as special as you did :)

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


 
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