I really don't know where to start with this one as i get so emotional and upset when i start thinking about this. I have known and been bestfriends with this girl for 14yrs since we both started secondary school we have stuck together through all the school and college years never really leaving each others side. When we was younger we would always talk about our future weddings and families to be saying we would be each others bridesmaids and our kids would be like cousins and we would be aunties. But over this past year i am losing her and i have tried my best to keep onto her but she is pulling away from me and i really don't know why? She has been with her now fiance for just over a year and they had a baby in Jan this year. When she was pregnant i kept in contact with her as much as i could but i was having alot of family problems and issues and i have got quite bad depression on top of 2 illnesses which restrict me from doing things but whenever i had the time i would drop her a text. message to tell her i was always thinking of her and i am here if she ever needed me. One day i got this horrible upsetting message from her saying that i don't make the effort with seeing her or keeping in contact with her and that i am using her and i only kept in contact with her because she is one of my bridesmaids. This broke my heart and it really affected me i cooled down a bit and explained to her this wasnt the case and also asked her if she still wants to be my bridesmaid and i would totally understand if she didnt want to be anymore.....she never got back to me with the answer to this. Alot people said to me it was probably her hormones and just let her cool down and see how she is with me when she has had the baby. I then found out through bloody facebook in the new year that she got engaged on christmas eve....she never even told me i found out 3 weeks later!! I was so upset as i thought as i am her "bestfriend" i would at least got a text from her letting me know her good news as i did when i got engaged. When the baby was born i was the last person to find out, once again i heard about on facebook. I got in contact with her and said whenever she is ready and feeling upto it i would like to come and see her and baby. She got back to me with a simple message i will be in touch when you can come over. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and found out i am the last person out of all her friends to see her and that she has been going out with other friends to meals and spending the day with them but yet i get left behind and not even thought about. Just silly little things like photos of her baby with other friends on facebook but when i was with her she never took a photo of me with the baby :(
I have really got a bad gut feeling that she doesnt and not intrested in being my bridesmaid what so ever and this breaks my heart. She has not been intrested at all i try and talk about the wedding and she doesnt say anything, i have asked her for help and she just answers i don't know. I think she is annoyed aswell because of the wedding it has put her holiday date back a little bit. The week before my wedding she is being a bridesmaids to one of her other friend who has only got back in proper contact since the last few months of pregnancy and she is now seeing her all the time now the baby is here. I can tell she is so happy to be this other girls bridesmaid and i know her lil baby girl is also going to be a bridesmaid at the age of 4months!! This other friend has got a couple of kids and i know that is another reason why she is starting to be all friendly with her now, i guess i am no use to her anymore as i havent got kids yet i honestly believe she doesnt like me anymore and is trying to get rid of me. I have always been the one person always by her side through the good and the bad times, i would be lost without her.
I don't know what to do or say to her, i am so confused and upset....i dont want to push her into something she doesnt want to do so how do i bring up the subject without upsetting her? I want her to be my bridesmaid but if she doesnt want to be then i guess i will have to except and respect her decision. I think she has out grown me. I havent got that many friends who i trust and see anymore i lost alot of them when i got ill but now i am the losing the one person who i never thought would leave me. Right i am getting myself really upset now :'( i better stop talking about it!!

i agree with zoe....you need to tell your friend all these things..explain that you cant really understand whats happened because you thought you had been really trying to keep in touch and if you have done something to upset, that you didnt realise you had maybe you could ask her to explain these things to you...but sometimes sadly it is just a case of friends out growing each other and moving on..it happened to me before with one of my best friends ever! at the time i was gutted etc but in the end i learned to accpet her decision and not push an push her as i found that only made things worse...
but if that is the case and she doesnt really want to be friends with you anymore/be your bridesmaid, she should have the decency to tell you after all your years of friendship...
really hope your ok and dont get upset or try not to, im sure it will get sorted xx

yh i agree with ekielty. u need to both sit and talk. i have had problems with people i thought were my friends but never have been. and the one person i would love to have kept, i lost when i was a teenager to leukemia (sp). but she was my best friend and my rock through any problems i had growing up.
since losing her i haven't had anyone come close to how the friendship was. they all end up stabbing me in the back. some people can not realise that not only are they being pushed away, they too are doing the pushing. sounds like u both wanna talk about it, but don't know how to. just both sit and discuss things. word of advice tho: wear waterproof mascara and take plenty of tissues, there's likely to be tears. hope everything works out for ya hun xxxx

me and my best friend[also of 14yrs] had a simular problem a few years ago,we d always done everything together but then she got a new job and diff friends and i got back with h2b and we didnt see as much of each other,then i got a nasty message saying i was neglecting her and we had a big falling out.we didnt talk for a year,and then she started seeing my h2b s brother and as we saw each other reg at family events we had a big sit down and really cleared the air.we r closer than ever now but we both wish we d of just talked and told each other how we felt sooner rather than aving a silly fall out for a yr.ur friend might feel simular to u and u could both be getting ur wires crossed,u v been friends for a long time so sit down and talk it thru and hopefully it will be something and nothing that can be solved.all the best.x