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Wedding Forum - Is this normal or odd?...

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  1.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Hubby and I have been together for coming up to 6 years and married for almost 2 years now, we got engaged in January 2012.

    In that time we have been for lunch/dinner at my parents more times than anyone could count and they have taken us out too. The gesture is reciprocal and we also have them around loads for lunch/dinner and have treated them for meals out.

    FIL with his girlfriend is often included in the family meals round at ours, including Christmas day, New Year, birthdays (my dad and him have birthdays a couple of days apart so do them joint birthday meals) and fathers day. Plus ad hoc meals just to see each other or when SIL with her family are round.

    FIL has even been for a meal at my parents house for a big family get together.

    Since we've been together i have not once been to his house for even a coffee and never taken for a meal either. Basically there has been absolutely not one instance of our hospitality being reciprocated. Hubby doesn't seem bothered by this.

    Is this normal or odd?

    I'd understand if he didn't have 2 pennies to rub together but I know he is more than comfortable.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  2.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Maybe its just not occurred to him?

    In one of my groups of friends that all know eachother (there is 10 of us) we go alot to one couples house for game/movie nights and to another again for movie nights or just a catch up. We ourselves have only had one of the couples round to our house for a movie/takeaway. Never been deliberate but just how its worked out. We did notice this a while ago and brought it up if anyone was annoyed with this and the response was "Not really, no" and we continued as normal.

    Sometimes its just how its worked out.

    Maybe have a talk with the FIL?

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Maybe he feels that things should be done for him. Many older generations feel that that is how it should be.

    We've been to the inlaws a fair amount for meals, And every year we have a get together at my parents house at christmas with the other family members.

    He most likely feels that his children/children in law should be inviting him round. That's just how some are unfortunately.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    I know what you mean. My maternal grandmother was exactly like this.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  5.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Hmmm maybe.

    It's funny as my parents love having us round for meals.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  6.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Sometimes it is what they are used to. My family have been close but not that close where we have to see each other every day, live in each other's pockets etc, yet my sil and her mother are like that which is why she got funny saying we've done nothing for her since my brother passed, yet we have, just that we've not been there every day as we've still got our own lives to get on with and families. Does that make sense? Is that what that side of the family is like, coz if your hubby sees nothing wrong, maybe that's what he is used to.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    The relationship is weird. Hubby and his sister aren't close to their dad, a lot of family issues with their mum and dad marriage breaking down and SIL blaming their dad for it all. Apparently he was lucky to even be invited to her wedding so he was just treated like any other guest and hubby gave her away and did the speech normally the FOB does.

    Hubby just doesn't have much of a relationship with his dad and it's only since I've been on the scene that FIL has had any hospitality from hubby.

    I'd just have thought that now he does get numerous invites round for massive meals that he'd make some effort.

    I'm slightly annoyed because of course when he does come round it's me not hubby that does all the prep, cooking and cleaning up afterwards, it's a lot of effort.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 15th 2015
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    Their mum also passed away over 10 years ago so isn't about to maybe do some of the family stuff.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

 
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