Wedding Forum - Is my MOH being unfair...

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Wedding related rants: is my MOH being unfair

1 to 17 of 17

- CommentAuthorAmandaK74
My MOH recent behaviour is starting to annoy me. In the past few weeks she has gone and had a full sleeve tattoo which is very colorful and not something I personally like, she already knows she is my bridesmaid and it isn't something id have wanted in my photos.
Then last night she told me her and her partner have decided to try for a baby. Don't get me wrong this is marvelous news but I have already bought her dress and if she is pregnant for my wedding the dress obviously wont fit. I know I probably sound selfish but this has really annoyed me, am I over reacting?
Or is she being abit selfish?

met 11th December 2010
engaged 2nd August 2013
getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
- CommentAuthorGemmaR81
If the tattoos bother you that much get her a cover up. My MOH got married last year and her MOH has loads of tattoos, that is her and her tattoos are part of her. She actually wore a long sleeve cover up for the ceremony and pictures, that was her choice. As for getting pregnant, you cant stop someone getting pregnant. Especially if you think that a pregnant bridesmaid would ruin your day. If she is actively trying then get a dress that is fitted over the bust and then flows so will cover any bump if she has one. As a friend you should be happy that your friend is trying for a baby. I know if my MOH was pregnant then I would be happy for her and would still want her as my MOH. Sorry if it sounds harsh xxx
- CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
I would be annoyed to if I had already purchased the dress!! I assume she knew you had the dress?
Is it a dress that has room for a bump?
At the end of the day though its your moh's choice, if you dont like the tattoo then buy a shawl or cardigan to cover it. If she gets pregnant & the dress no longer fits than she'll have to cover the costs of a replacement dress.
- CommentAuthorkittyh
Sorry but I do think you are being a little bit bridezilla! at the end of the day you chose her to be a bridesmaid because of who she is and not what she look like i mean if she had the tattoo before you asked her to be a BM would it have stopped you asking? If it bothers you that much then just ask her if she wouldn't mind covering it up for the photos.

Same with the pregnancy thing really...people can't put their lives on hold - i will be trying for a baby as soon as my wedding is over which means for my engaged friend and my sister who will probably be getting married herself soon there is a good chance I will be a pregnant bridesmaid im not postponing it til after they are done getting married no chance. My girls are all in committed relationships and it isn't beyond the realms of possibility that they could get pregnant between now and my wedding and I have already bought (and spent a FORTUNE on their dresses) I think if it was a case of them not being able to fit in the dress then they would buy a replacement in a bigger size or they would step down as I couldn't really justify buying another £250 dress! Obviously would try and sell it and if after that I could help with the cost of the replacement I would. The thing is, our weddings are only the most important thing in the world to us and our partners but for everyone else life goes on. sorry just trying to be honest! :)
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I agree with kitty.

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!

- CommentAuthorAmandaK74
Not really sure why its annoyed me but it has, and i will soon get over it.
Really appreciate the comments even though some are harsh, but I guess I needed to hear them to realise it isn't the end of the world, with all the wedding stress and having the vision I have for our wedding I guess she caught me off guard.
Maybe I am being abit bridezilla, just want that perfect day

met 11th December 2010
engaged 2nd August 2013
getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
- CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
Hmm I see your point but you also have to remember that your wedding day is just that a day. That is her life and 11 months to wait to start trying for a baby is a long time. Adapt plans it will all be ok. Buy a cover up as suggested and if she is heavily pregnant she might decide her role within the bridal party should change - dont panic - my MOH ditched me - long story- and I have carried on with just two good friends as bridesmaids who have helped me loads. All will be cool on the day and remember it is about you a h2b.
- CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Firstly I can get why you are a bit peeved which is every bride once engaged pictures their day and who is there and how everything looks from dresses to general appearance and of course if not at time of first bits of dreaming any added extras such as pregnant or tattoos is suddenly code red in your head .
Sadly as much as us brides would love to do it we can't control everything so the others get the tattoos or get pregs .

I would take a breath and focus on everything else in your wedding for a few days and then when everything is calm go back and look at options on what you would be happy with such as any options if you wanted tattoos covered (would she be happy with that?)or if dress could be amended if she did get preg.

Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
- CommentAuthorTeresa
I think WelshbrideBethan2015 has some good advice there, its exactly what i would have said, give yourself some time to get used to the idea and you may feel a bit better about it all, it is difficult when you have a dream and things get in the way of that, just think of the lovely baby cuddles you can have in the future :) as for the tattoo, its part of who she is, im sure she will cover it up for you if you want her to, maybe she can let it free in the evening when its less formal and you can both be happy xxx
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
The tattoo would probably annoy me, but I'd accept it. My 18 year old bridesmaid has a tattoo, and I'm not overjoyed but it's on the inside of her forearm so I don't think it will be noticeable. I just don't like tattoos, I went to one wedding where the bride had a tattoo on her leg and wore a knee length dress. I thought it was awful (and the dress was a bad choice in other ways), but it worked for her.

As for the baby, it's her call. She can't be expected to delay. It wouldn't be unreasonable to ask her to pay for a new dress or alterations. However if she gets pregnant quickly she could actually have shed a lot of baby weight before the wedding. One of my MOHs got pregnant, had the baby in May, and was back in size tens within a month.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
The tattoo would bother me but as everyone's said they can be covered up even though that's not ideal.

I can understand where you're coming from with the baby thing as you've already bought the dress but it's her decision. Getting pregnant can take a while though so she might not be too heavily pregnant when it comes to your wedding. Try not to stress too much about it and deal with it as it comes. Your wedding will still be you're perfect day and what really matters is your Moh will still be there when you need her :) xxx

“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
- CommentAuthorFlossie
I understand why you're annoyed - but it is her life and she can do what she wants. She can't just wait for your wedding to be over until she gets a tattoo or before she starts trying for a baby. As long as she is a good MOH and helps to make your day extra special then that's all that matters - she could be absolutely covered in tattoos and heavily pregnant but it shouldn't make a difference at all. :-) x

Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
- CommentAuthorElaineH41
I can understand why you are annoyed, but its her body and if she wanted to get a tattoo and wants to try for a baby then there isnt much you can do about either of these things. That said you can buy some really good cover up make up, that if it was applied properly should cover the tattoo if you are that bothered about it being on show, I'm not saying your MOH will agree to wear this however its worth speaking to her to see how she would feel about it. You could also speak to your photographer ahead of the big day, so that he knows about this, and could position your MOH so that in some, if not all of the photos the tattoo could be hidden. Good Luck, I'm sure in a few days you won't feel as annoyed about either of these things xx
- CommentAuthorChristinaB38
i also had bought bridesmaids dresses and then my MOH announced she was pregnant, so i am currently trying to sell the original, but the good thing is i like the replacement dresses even more than the originals!
- CommentAuthorCLG93
I understand why your upset but it is her choice, you chose her for who she is, not how she looks surely?
im having 4 adult bridesmaids with my dress choice for them I have made allowences in the event of pregnancy. (3 of them could end up pregnant for all I know!) probably my MOH (sister as she will have been with her oh 5 years by that time) you could ask her to buy coverup make up though?

Cant wait to become Mrs C Glover!
2nd August 2015 <3
- CommentAuthorBecky1608
  
  edited
As others have said, you can get a cardi or shrug to cover up her tattoos.

As for the baby thing, I'm afraid I agree with most of the other ladies. I think you should be happy for her trying for a baby. You never know how long it will take to conceive. One of my friends was lucky and it happened on the first couple of attempts. Another friend isn't so lucky and is about to have her first round of IVF xxx

29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
- CommentAuthorVelcro
  
  edited
Ahhh im really sorry, but i think its abit of an overreaction, people cant put their lives on hold for our weddings, sure in an ideal world they wouldnt be pregnant get massive tattoos but their lives go on and our weddings are just another event to them, its not the most amazing thing in the world to other people im afraid. I TOTALLY get that you'd be a bit miffed, and i think, if she was pregnant, id just let her know that you simply cant afford another dress for her - that is her problem, not yours and a good friend would realise that the expense would be down to them in that case I think and it would be then up to her to sell the original dress on or whatever (obviously if you have already bought and paid for the dress and it is unalterable etc, as your situation)

Also, i dont think she is being selfish in the slightest, sorry

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!

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