Wedding Forum - Is it cheeky to ask brides maids to buy...

I would say it depends on how well off they are, and whether you are happy to give them a say in what dresses they have.

It's not cheeky, but I think I'd mention at the point of asking them if they want to be a bridesmaid

I have 3 older bridesmaids, 2 junior bridesmaids and 3 flowergirls and they/their parents are paying for their own dresses and shoes and i am paying for their hair, makeup, nails, flowers, jewellery & hair accessories and they didnt mind :/

We originally planned for wedding in Cyprus so I was going to buy my bridesmaid dresses as they would be paying to come to the wedding and didn't want them to be forking out ontop for dresses too! BUT I only have 2 adults (my sisters) and 2 children / FG (my nieces)

Since deciding to get married here in UK I will be asking them to buy their dresses, I most likely won't be going down the bridal shop route though and expecting them to get £200+ dresses either x

I am going to ask my BM's to pay for their dresses but will make sure I don't pick anything above the £100 mark.

Personally, I think the only way this is OK is if you give them total say ie let them wear something they already own. I don't think it's OK to ask them to be bridesmaids and then tell them they need to buy x dress in x colour. So if you can be totally flexible I think it's OK, otherwise not.

You could always compromise by providing the dresses but asking them to wear their own shoes and accessories (we're doing this as a) we don't care about matching shoes and accessories and b) the dresses have cost a small fortune: anything from £150-360). You can get dresses for the younger girls very cheaply (remember to think outside the box; it doesn't have to be a bridesmaid/flower girl dress specifically); likewise you could look at high-street stores for the older ones. Or, perhaps you could give them something each towards an outfit (eg £30) and again be flexible about colour and style?

I wouldn't expect someone to buy their own dress. I agree with barbie86 and would say if I couldn't afford to buy them a dress I would allow them to wear something they already own and maybe suggest preferred colour.

I don't think it's a good choice....

It's not cheeky but it is something you should have mentioned to them before asking them especially with so many bridesmaids. You will also not be able to have much of a say as it's coming out of their pocket.

For this reason and a few others I went down from what I originally wanted , 5 BMs and 2FGs, down to 3 BMs and 1FG and I am buying all their dresses however they are buying their shoes with a guideline to stick to particular colour and that is all.

Think it should of been asked before anything bought or agreed on at the start as some people may think it's cheeky at the end but if you explain I'm sure something can be agreed .

When we started wedding planning we had budgeted to buy the bms dresses at around £250 each. But a little later on the down the line my OH got laid off and it crippled us financially :(
I'm a SAHM so we had no choice but to claim benefits while my OH looks for another job :(
Due to these unforseen circumstances I had to ask the bms to pay for their own dresses. But we all sat down and agreed a new budget of £50 per dress which they were all happy with. I've managed to find bms dresses on bay of e in this budget and as an extra thing I've also bought their sandles myself so they all match and they didn't have to pay extra.
We also have an understanding that if our financial circumstances get better then we will reimburse them the costs of the dresses :)

I think aslong as you are upfront with them and you all agree on a reasonable budget for everyone then there shouldn't be any problems. I still managed to pick the dresses but this did take a bit of extra work as it took me a long time to get them all to agree on a dress they were all happy with, they wouldn't have had that much free reign if I were still paying for them lol ;)