This is my first time using the forum, so have no idea what I'm doing but really need to reach out for some help!
I love planning my wedding, and thought we had nailed the guest list for the ceremony until my h2b's family have now said that we should invite more of his fathers family. We already have 5 people from that side of the family attending, and the other people that we are being pressured into inviting I have never met, and H2B hasn't seen them since before we got together (and we've been together 5 years). I only have 5 people from my own fathers side of the family (including him and his wife) and I don't want to invite people to the ceremony that are in my eyes are strangers. We both have quite large families so has been difficult to pick and choose, especially since we aren't inviting children as this would double numbers.
Has any one been through this before, if so how did you deal with it? I've tried to say no without being brutal but I'm not sure this will fix anything.
I should also add that H2B's parents are contributing to the wedding, so have that guilt over my head. I also love them both to pieces but I don't know how to approach this without upsetting people.
Sorry its a long one - just feel I can't really talk to anyone else about this.
x
CommentAuthorStaceyH989
Hi Amy,
Guest list can be a total nightmare and I understand where your coming from, hopefully this will help!
We set a guide list for deciding who we should invite especially where family concerned: Have they spoken to us in the last two years? In the last two years have we seen them more than twice? Are they immediate family?
We decided that we would limit the guest list to uncles, aunts and cousins any family beyond that wouldn't be invited to the day and would be invited to the evening if there was space.
If you haven't told your family about the physical space and numbers your venue can hold a great way round it is saying you don't have enough space but should it free up you'll consider inviting them. Also to save arguments from today do not show either family the guest list if they ask about certain members say you'll check and get back to them.
If you say that more of his fathers family can come they will start pushing for more spaces and try and change other things to so tyr to make a stand now if you can.
I hope this helps.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
As it's your h2b's family, presumably he's had a say in who does and doesn't make the cut from his side. I'd leave it to him to have the conversation with his family to say no.
Ultimately it's your day as well as his, therefore you both decide on the guest list, noone else should have a say. Take it from someone who has been there done that and got the t-shirt. You do not want to regret having certain people at your big day after the event.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
