HI ladies - hope you're all well. Please can I ask your advice about something to do with my guest list?? Well, here goes:-
My brother used to be with his girlfriend and they had my little nephew together (he's 6 now) whom I absolutely adore and he is going to be my page boy. I was very close to my brothers girlfriend at the time they were together (they were together about 2.5 years) and we were what I would call 'friends' but they split up around 3 years ago now. Since then, we've not really been that close but I have seen her occasionally when I have picked up/dropped off my nephew or at my mum's when she has been picking my nephew up from there but we're not specifically done anything together like we used to. She's still quite friendly with my mum as my mum does a lot for her when it comes to my nephew.
Since then, my brother has had a baby with someone else and the previous girlfriend started off very jealous about it and wouldn't let my nephew see his new sister for quite some time. She gradually started allowing it but I asked one day if I could take my nephew to see the baby so I could spend time with the kids together and she said no. I was annoyed and had a moan to my brother which annoyed him and he told her it was not on. She had previous to this, asked the mother of the new baby to babysit for my nephew as she was struggling as everyone else was at work and she needed to go somewhere so it was fine on her terms. Since then she has messaged me basically falling out with me as she accused me of taking about her behind her back which I suppose it true but I was annoyed with her. We sorted it out in the end.
Here is my question, I personally want to invite her to the evening reception only. I don't think she's been a 'friend' now for a few years and don't think she should get the privilege of attending my wedding all day. My concern is the stress it will cause, she will moan to my mum and brother about me, she will probably send a moaning message to me which I just can't be bothere to deal with so was thinking of inviting her (and her new baby who is due 2 months before my wedding) just to avoid hassle. My OH thinks I shouldn't have to but I just can't deal with the hassle. Also, what if she says my nephew can't be a page boy if she's not there to see him?
Sorry for the long message. Hope you can give me some advice as it's causing me so much stress at the moment x x
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
She's sounds like hard work! Personally I would speak to your brother and see what he feels like as it might be quite hard and stressful for him and last thing you want is to make it awkward for him. I personally wouldn't expect the sister of father of my child to invite me to their wedding even if evening if I wasn't with the dad and we weren't good friends. I get on really well with my brother ex ( no children involved) and they were together for about 4/5 years but I don't think I'm going to invite her to the evening just because I know it will cause tension with my brother and his new gf and don't think it's fair to put them in that position and I think she'll understand but I will be asking my brother to see his opinion. So maybe talk to your brother and his partner and see what their opinion is and go from there :)
CommentAuthorMyranny
I have to say that I personally wouldn't be inviting her at all. But the politics of invites can be... hard.
As suggested, speak to your brother and see how he feels about it. He could just arrange that he has his son for the wedding day and then it's not really anything to do with her. Also if your mum still speaks to her regularly, then maybe get her opinion too? x
CommentAuthorFlossie
I agree in that I personally wouldn't invite her at all, I think it could make it very awkward by having her there. She is an ex to your brother for a reason and I would personally find it weird having someone's ex at my wedding.
I've been bridesmaid for my dad's side of the family on numerous occasions, and my mum has never been invited to any part of these weddings (they are divorced) despite once having close relationships with them - and it's not like they're even bitter or anything now. But to me it's just a no no. My mum also never had any problems with this.
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
Thank ladies - you're right, I shouldn't invite her. I don't want to and am purely doing it to save any moaning or arguments but at the end of the day I should rise above all that and just stick with 'it's our wedding, we invite who we want' so thanks for making it clearer for me :) x x
Right choice Nicola - I was going to post to say the same that I wouldn't invite her either to any part of the day.
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
Thank you Lindsey - I shall keep you all updated when the invites go out if she starts moaning :) x
CommentAuthorEmily17
Nicola, surely as the childs dad your brother would still be able to bring him to the wedding. Especially if she knows that your mom etc will be there.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I agree with the others that she shouldn't get an invite, she has no right to one and therefore has no right to moan. Your nephew is your brother's son so he should have him for the day, his mum has no reason to need to attend.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
