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Wedding Forum - I think I don’t want my mother at my...

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    • TerriW401
      Getting married in 8 months
      Posted: Jul 28th 2020
    Hi Everyone,

    First time posting on here but I’m not really sure where else to turn for advice as it’s a bit of a sensitive situation.

    So me and my mum have always had a very strained relationship. I am by all means not perfect and never claimed to be but my mum can just be down right hateful towards me.

    It’s not to say that she hasn’t provided for me over the years, she is just not very good at being mumsy it that makes sense though she has a completely different relationship with my two brothers.

    To add an example of her behaviour, I once attended a works party with her and her friends for her to basically sit there, get drunk and call me a slag and a whore all night...i genuinely cannot recall a time where she has said anything positive towards me, even when she came with me to pick my wedding dress she pulled me down and spent most of the time talking to the lady in the shop about my brothers and her fantastic daughter in laws - never once mentioned my H2B or said how happy she was for us.

    So after yet another fall out where I tried to talk to her about something she had done which had upset me (Covid related) she verbally attacked me because she could accept that my opinion was different to hers. She likes to say what she thinks but it’s very good when it is the other way around and won’t have it.

    So anyway I have left her to it, now however it seems that my dad, and two brothers aren’t speaking to me.

    My wedding is supposed to take place in November (restrictions permitting) and we opted for a reasonable sized event (50/ 100 day to evening) despite wanting to just go a way somewhere and do it on our own as we didn’t want to upset our families by not having them there.

    I am really feeling like I don’t want our wedding (I mean I do want to get married) but do I forget about the latest of these many incidents and risk her getting plastered and mouthing off on our special day or do I not invite her and then have to explain to the rest of my family and H2Bs family why my mum,dad and no doubt my brothers aren’t there.

    Right now I just feel like cancelling the whole thing.
    • TaraM2
      Getting married in 5 months
      Posted: Aug 5th 2020

    We are in a similarish situation with my w2b's Mum. Absolutely lovely woman but worried about the impact on my w2b on the day.

    I can see why you wouldn't want to invite her but given the fall out it would have with the rest of your family I wonder if that impact is worse than the potential risk of her misbehaving? Especially if she does have a better relationship with your siblings. However, living with that concern running up to the wedding and during the day isn't how you want to feel either.

    Given everything that's going on - is this an opportunity to do what you originally wanted and just go away and get married the two of you?
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