As most of you are aware me & my h2b are getting married in cyprus with no guests in just over a week! I have been feeling guilty since booking our wedding abroad and today My mil2b sent me a message on fb wishing us the best of luck & she also said I wish I could be there.. I now feel so guilty that she won't witness her son get married, I can't stop crying & my mums now in tears too!
I feel guilty for all of my family and friends who would love to be there, especialy for h2bs parents though as they are the only people who acceped are engagement right from the start. Also my nan is devastated as I am the only grandchild to get married before having children and that means a lot to her as she is very old fashioned!
Sorry I had to get it off my chest
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh hun!
It'll all be fine! Were you talking about having a blessing next year? It'll be so special and think about the lovely welcome you will receive when you get back. I'm sure that they are all so happy for you both and your decision! xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMrsShaw
As much as it must make you feel bad now, there must of been reasons for you wanting to get married abroad.
Personally, I could never do it due to the reasons you've mentioned, but you must have had some reasoning behind it, so at least you've not done it deliberately to hurt them sort of thing.
I know its not the same, but are you having it video'ed? My H2b's sister got married abroad and whilst his mum cries every time they watch it and would have loved to have been there, they went there because that's what they wanted to do, no one else. Sometimes you have to be a bit selfish, and if this is what you and Sam wanted, then theres your reasoning :)
Also, are you having a blessing when you come back? If not, can you? Again, its not the same, but next best thing
xx
CommentAuthorbex
(tut) heidi here are certainly some people out there that are determined to upset u prior to ur big day aren't there?, come on u've been so excited just lately don't let a simple message like that spoil things for u again, forget the comments ur gonna have loads of 'well wishes' and 'wish i could be there's' u fly out on wednesday and ur gonna have a fantastic time with the man u love, then an equally fantastic time when u get back desperate to show them ur pics and tell them all about it, as will they waiting to hear all about it, STOP CRYING everything is going to be fine ( big hug) x
marrying the man of my dreams
we have 2 perfect children together
the day i become mrs clifford can't come quick enough
26/08/2013 :-)
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Yes we decided to go abroad because of my dad, basically I had to choose between my dad or my mum/her partner!
Everyone has been so supportive right from the start but I can't help feeling guilty! My mil2b didn't mean to upset me, she's amazing couldn't wish for a better mother in law! Yes we want a blessing next year ether may or july time but its not the same! Xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
heidi, bex has got it bang on! this is yours and ur h2bs day....dont feel guilty theres nothing to feel guilty about. this is what u want babe so enjoy it!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSherah
We had this dilemma, we have although given people the option too join us, we haven't Big enough families too have a ceremony here, and we both knew we wanted an abroad wedding. You need too remember its your day and you are marrying no1 else but your Fiancé. X
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
heidi, as mentioned before, you're going to have a lot of people saying they wish they could've been there, but it's not as if you have allowed some people to come and others not. noone will be there, so everyone can look forward to your blessing next year as if it is a real wedding
our blessing is looking like it's going to be a wedding, without the legality.
yes, his mum, your mum and families will be hurt about not seeing you both say your vows, but they have to respect that's what you've decided.
we had originally planned for no guests other than our kids and i wish we had stuck to it!!!!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
It's such a shame that certain family members can't just behave themselves for one day. At the end of the day, you obviously made your decision for a reason so you shouldn't feel guilty. I personally would have told your Dad where to go and just banned him, but I'm guessing there must be more to it so stick to your guns
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorXbox widow
Dont feel guilty its about what you two want and you dont want it spoiling by anyone and I sure everyone else will understand x
CommentAuthor~feebee~
Your mil is not saying it to make you feel bad, now just you have a lovely wedding and have a nice celebration when you get back hun. Can't wait to see the pics :)) x x
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thanks ladies for your support as usuall :)
I have decided to book our blessing as soon as we get back & make it a priority!! Xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorAnastasia
I have these moments from time to time, you are not alone hun xx
Target Weight-loss: 42lb. Total-loss so far: 30lb :)
~ Marrying my Soulmate in Kenya...
as the Sunsets just the Two of Us & some Giraffes ~
CommentAuthorHa_x3
I'm glad I'm not the only one Anastasia xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorAnastasia
Honestly your not sweetie, I keep getting upset if I sit & think for too long especially as I know some people are upset & they have said they really wanted to see us get married but you have to be strong & tell yourself why you chose to get married abroad on your own & that's when I feel better again! Chin up hun just remember it's about you & h2b, nobody else x
Target Weight-loss: 42lb. Total-loss so far: 30lb :)
~ Marrying my Soulmate in Kenya...
as the Sunsets just the Two of Us & some Giraffes ~
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
Heidi it seems your dad held you to ransom over this, so he is to blame for it. So when anyone mentions it just say it never would have happened if your dad hadnt made such a fuss.
To be honest, if my dad had told me to choose the way your dad did, I would have un-invited him........basically I would have chosen mum and step-dad, JUST because he was trying to control the situation.
I'd have said.....OK dad, you are welcome, as is mum, but if you cant accept that then please dont bother coming yourself.
But anyway you ARE going abroad, and you had your reasons AT THE TIME......things have maybe calmed down a bit now and you feel like you made a wrong choice? But its going to be beautiful.......and if you have a blessing later this year.....then your family can celebrate then. If your dad makes demands again I would tell him to keep away if he cant put his feelings on hold for just one day. its neither the time or the place to aire his grievances.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorAnastasia
It is going to be beautiful x
Target Weight-loss: 42lb. Total-loss so far: 30lb :)
~ Marrying my Soulmate in Kenya...
as the Sunsets just the Two of Us & some Giraffes ~
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Yeah your right!! I have already said my dad is welcome at our blessing but my mum & her partner WILL be there, so its his choice ether way, I won't loose any sleep over it!!
Xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
If you are having 2nd thoughts about your Mum/stepdad & partners Mum/Dad, tell them. If you were my daughter I would respect your decision but if you said to me a day before you wanted me there, nothing would stop me! Your Dad clearly can't afford to go, if he can only afford to give you £20.00. If you stand by your decision, stop feeling guilty because it is about you and your future husband and not your guests.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorHa_x3
I'm not having second thoughts about our intimate wedding, I just feel as though I should never of been put in that position to choose between my parents & because I couldn't choose and decided to have no guests I feel like I've taken it out on everyone else who's done nothing wrong like h2bs family & my grandparents etc
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
I can understand how you would feel that way......is there ANY way they could get a last minute flight out there to be with you? You say you couldnt choose, and please dont think I a getting at you........but the one person you should have had the issue with is the one that was making it difficult......your dad. he made you have to choose, and for that he should have been the one left out in the cold...... Buts its too late now to talk about that.......you CAN rectify this, and when you have your blessing this will all be forgotten.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
edited
I absolutely loathe my ex-husband and cant stand to be in his company for long.....given the choice. BUT when my daughter graduated last year and we all went for a meal.....it was tongue biting time. it HAS to be that way because I love my daughter more than i hate him.......does that make sense? I couldnt do or say anything to spoil her day.....I think all split up parents should do this. Its not easy.....but its necessary. This was not a message for you Heidi as its not your doing, but maybe you could speak to your dad and ask him to try to get along with your mum for YOUR sake.
I can resist anything but temptation
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
I totally agree with Raggedy Ann about how you learn to bite your tongue, for the sake of your children. I'm 38 and can never remember spending Christmas day with my Dad and he, my stepmum and my Mum and Stepdad spent Christmas day together with me and we all had a fantastic day. They made the effort for me and it probably wasn't their idea of fun, but it just showed me how much they loved me for doing it.
I think your Dad is selfish, but if you are happy that you are having an intimate wedding with just the two of you then you shouldn't change your plans. There are members of my family that think I should invite my Aunty to my wedding, but they respect the decision I have made even though they may not neccesarily understand it.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorclbronze
Why don't you have a get-together on your return? You could even wear your wedding stuff and make it like the delayed evening reception? Would be a way to include eveyone and you could just hire a cheap hall and ask everyone to bring a dish and booze? x
Met Paul on 01.06.08
Marrying him on 01.06.12
CommentAuthorKATG
I wouldnt owrry too much but if you really feel that bad why not skype it or video link it to one of their homes. They can then watch it live. It would be very easy to set up all you need is the internet and a web cam. You could then have a party or meal or something when you get home.
We are doing this as H2Bs grandmther cant get up the steps to the reception venue so we are going to video link/skype to the hotel. She can watch it there and they we will all go back for the meal. Honestly there is no reason for them not to watch it. Good luck hun xx
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorKATG
I meant she cant get up the steps to the ceremony venue lol
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorHa_x3
we arent taking a laptop away with us let alone internet lol after speaking to my H2B and my mum i dont feel so bad. My mil2b has reassured me also, she said she has the blessing to look forward to.. So as soon as we get back from cyprus i will book our blessing & make that our next priority for the family and friends xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorKATG
Lol, haha, I thought the hotel might lend you one and that they would usually have the internet. Glad you have sorted it out hun x
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorLeanneW15
aww just enjoy it! :) it'll be nice if you could do something when you get back with everyone but aside from that look at the weather recently!!! Cyprus all the way!! have fun!! xx
CommentAuthorNatashaP86
aw hun dont worry and upset yourself you and your h2b made a decision and for you its the right one so follow it, go away relax and get married to the man of your dreams then come back and have a blessing where you can wear your dress again and have lots of extra future memories with all your friends and family, x
CommentAuthorshazzifox
Sorry I've come into this a bit late - just wanted to wish you a happy time for you big day!! You are doing the right thing by going abroad; No wedding day should be riddled with worry over whether such and such will get on and this way you and you H2B get to enjoy every moment. xx
******* Shannon & Trev --> 8 Years Together *******
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thankyou hun xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
You're going to have your perfect fairytale wedding hun! And another when you get back and book the blessing. Not long now! xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Not long atall.. One more day of work then we are off :) xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorkrissy905
wow heidi how exciting and dont feel gulity at the end of the day the ones that love you will be happy for you and a blessing next year will be lovely. you and h2b have done what you think is right for you both. xx
CommentAuthorbex
omg it's here have a fantastic time, can't wait to hear all about it and see ur beautiful pics
marrying the man of my dreams
we have 2 perfect children together
the day i become mrs clifford can't come quick enough
26/08/2013 :-)
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thankyou bex :) xxxx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorXbox widow
I bet your really excited now, all the best to you and h2b it will be perfect. Cant wait to see your pics xx
CommentAuthor~feebee~
Have a lovely wedding hunni :) x x
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thankyou both, il see you on the other side (of marriage) haha xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorMrsShaw
Have a brilliant time heidi... see you when you get back as a Mrs!! xx
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thanks hun xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
Good luck Heidi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a safe trip and a wonderful time!!!!!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorSweetchilli
I hope you both have a wonderful day. Can't wait to see the pics. X
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Thankyou both, nearly at the airport.. Goodbye england hello cyprus but more importantly goodbye miss alcock & hello mrs lunn :)
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Omg our mums turnt up in curpus, they were waiting for us at our ceremony, how amazing is that, im sooo happy
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorfiona
YAY!!!!!
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
What a fantastic surprise, you must have been so thrilled. Congratualations xx
CommentAuthornic86
amazing!!! xx
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
I am so happy for you heidi.......what amazing mums you have got.......its such a lovely surprise.
It is going to be beautiful x
