ok this is gonna be long
I have a really close friend and we used to talk to each other at least once a week to catch up etc, she was my rock when OH went away with the army, when i got engaged she was the first person i told and of course asked her to be one of my BMs, since then we have barely spoken- she has gotten a new job and a boyfriend and i understand she is busy but i had to find out about both these things on the book of face (the site that causes more problems than it solves but i usually use it to talk to family who live far away)
i got on with my wedding plans with her in mind and then we finally met up, she talked for ages but then the minute i got a word in she got up and walked away without another word, since then she has text a couple of times- mostly to talk about her new fella or job (please keep in mind i am very happy for her with these things, she deserves everything good)- i have now asked all my other BMs and MOH officially but am not sure about my close friend anymore as she honestly doesnt seem to want anything to do with me anymore- i have asked if i have said or done something unintentionally and was told i hadnt.
so do i keep her as a BM or not, and if not then how do i let her know in a nice way as i really dont want an argument because i do want us to be friends
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yeah i agree with above... dont mention it again and then send her an invite to wedding- as a guest!

I would agree with Lala. Maybe leave it for a while and see how things go. It's easy to go on a bit when you 're happy and maybe she just wants to share it with you. See how things go and maybe try and arrange another get together soon xxx

I would be tempted like kel says to see if can catch up again and go from there if she still doesnt seem bothered then I would just not mention it again and let her do own thing it is hard when have lot going on in ur life but when ur meant to be an important part of that seat U do what U need to for example my sister gets married next as was I meant to but we have now split. Im bm for my sister but still spent last week picking her dress, my dress, seeing the florist with her and stuff like that not only as she my sister but because that what a bm does x x

Weve got the same issue with one of mine. Used to see her all the time, but we dont anymore. Trying to get her to spend some time is incredibly difficult and its always me to make contact. But then when we do get together its fab and talk and shes really excited etc.. I juat think shes busy just got a house so I know what shes going through. Keep it as it is for now, and as u get closer she may be more interested.. x

I would give her the benefit of the doubt for now. It sounds as though she's simply busy with a new life. Friendships change a lot when new boyfriends are on the scene. If she's not interested when you do have time together then that's a bit different and I'd be very tempted not to mention it again and send her an invite as a guest. x

im in the same situations hun, within about 2/3 months of getting engaged i asked my girls to be bm's and moh but since then they don't seem to care or be interested with anything to do with the wedding, mine like yours is a fair way off, but me being in a commited relationship and daughter and them still being young with barely andy responsibilitys and having fun all the time, i feel we have drifted apart, so i now want to ask my cousin to be my MOH and my other friend that i met at anti-natal to be a BM as shes been so good, she comes to see me and or take me out every other week if not every week and she even took we to a shop to look at dresses, and when my o/h went away for a week and I got some bad news reguarding my grans health she came over with a bottle and chocolate to cheer me up. and now have to find a way to tell the others they are surplus to requirement. i think im going to leave it till this time next year so im more sure nothing is going to change then send out my invites and officialy invite thos who i want to be in my bridal party.

Like some of the others have said, give it time- you probably don't have to ask her to step down at all.
I had a girl I was inviting to our wedding, sent her a save the date and everything- but when the time came to send out invites I realised we hadn't spoken in the year since I sent out the STD's, and I'd tried getting in touch with her several times since then to no avail. She's not invited and I don't think she cares- so I'd just give it some time xx

Lala took the words right out of my mouth lol!
I've said keep, that doesn't mean closer to the time if this is still ongoing you can not have that conversation then, as u have a whole until you need to dress shop etc. things may get a lot better by then, and u would regret asking her to step down, it may be just she's very busy with new bf etc, and once it settles she will be a great friend again! If howver she doesn't, she will probably have figured she wouldn't be one anymore if u have gone months without speaking and it will be a relatively easy conversation. She's probably feeling a little jealous tbh x

All in all it's down to you. Do you want to share your day with her or now Keep in mind the way she has acted to you in the past and the way she is now. You still have 25months so there is still a fair bit of time for her to go back to the way you two used to be - or stay the same.
Lala has a good point, let her doing the chasing as they say, and if she doesn't bother that may just sum up your answer. Keep in mind that she has a new job, so she could be getting a little over worked there and the new boyfriend, well when you start going out you know how it is 24/7 together busy doing things together ect ect. But then again that doesn't explain how she was with you when you met up last. But as someone said about that could be just down to jealousy, as maybe you're at the place where she wants to be.
Just give it more time, and see if she comes to you.

X

Thanks for the advice ladies, i have spoken to her a few times since starting this thread, however it is still a case of me listening to her go on and on about her new fella- which i dont mind doing, but then thats all the conversation is. we had arranged to meet up last thursday (my bday) and she cancelled last minute because she was called into work (i completely understand this) so we rscheduled for sunday afternoon because she knew i would need some cheering up after my fella went away again, so i text her sunday morning before she had work to see if we were still meeting up- no reply- i text after she finished work at 12- still no answer- i rang at about half 1- still nothing- i waited till about 3pm and we were supposed to be going shopping and since at this point i knew that the shops would be shut i text and asked if she wanted to get some food instead- nothing, then at 5 i text and said i guessed we werent doing anything now- still nothing even now. i will see her on friday at work so i guess i will hear the excuses then and hopefully will get a chance to talk this out with her