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  1.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hiii Brides!
    It's been ages since I've been on here, as we've been busy planning the Wedding, and now instead of a UK celebration, we've decided to have our 'Blessing' in the South of France! (We are fully aware of all of the legalities about getting Married in France, so getting the legal bit done at home, then celebrating in France)
    Anyways, we were interested in hiring a Chateau for a portion of the guests to stay in, there's always a lot more accommodation nearby for others to stay at. But all of the nice ones are coming out at about £200 for 3/4 nights or £300 per guest for a week (not including children). Now, we were talking about putting money in towards people's rooms, BUT instead decided that we would like to put on a welcome dinner for the first night that ALL of the guests get into the country, as well as paying for the whole Wedding Day including wines and beer for the whole day and night, plus a post-wedding BBQ/Brunch for the day after the Wedding, which I personally think would make it cheaper for the guests overall, as that's two extra meals for them that they don't have to pay for? But I just don't know? The couples aren't really the problem, it's the families, as they will obviously cost more once you factor in travel expenses, as we only plan on charging £50 per child for a 3-4 night stay, and £80 if it's a week long stay.
    So, what I'm asking is, without contacting all of the guests that we plan to invite to get a rough idea of their individual budgets, as that would take us forever, and then we would feel really pressurised if some people have a very unrealistic idea of what the budget for a holiday to France would cost, what would YOU personally feel was an ok ball park figure to pay to go to a friend's destination wedding before all of your other food and excursion expenses?

    BTW, most of these venues have a pool and either a tennis court, or pool table, so there are things to do on site if people couldn't afford excursions.
    Also, happy for people to constructively criticise my plans, as they're not set in stone, and if you have any better suggestions, I would love to hear them!
    Thank you! X
  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    It's a lovely idea but will people really be able to afford to spend that much to attend a wedding? To be honest if I had to spend that much on someone's wedding, not forgetting travel costs and taking time off work I wouldn't be buying them a present but would then feel obliged to buy a present so would probably just say sorry I can't come. If it was someone I was really close to I would fork out but it's a lot of money.

    If most people you know are well off then you'll probably be okay.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    @InDreamland We defo wouldn't expect to be bought Presents if people came to France, we would just be delighted to have them there! What sort of amount would you be happy to pay to go there for either 3/4 nights or a week as either a couple or a family (if you have kids)? Xx
  4.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    Im of the same opinion as IDL its a lot of money and would most probs put me off going if I had to spend that much, unless it was my sister or a close relation or close friend then I would of course be there. For a family to attend they might be put off with the upheaval as travelling with kids is expensive its not just the being there its the airport costs etc. xx

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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      edited
     
    I'm the same as Sarah, I probably wouldn't attend unless it was a very close family member and I probably wouldn't stay the 3/4 nights to save costs... I think it's a bit much to ask of people to stay for that long, especially when they have other commitments back home. For a lot of people that would probably be their holiday for the year. I was worrying that £135 per room was too much for our guests to pay to stay the night at our venue!

    It's a lovely idea but I am not sure it is realistic. Can you not have the big wedding/party in the UK and just you and your OH (and maybe a select few people) go to France for the blessing? Maybe you could double it up with your honeymoon?

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  6.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    If you think that's per person then for a couple its £400 £600 plus flights and general spending. I know that me and OH couldn't afford that.

    but that is cheaper than my cousins was. She got married in St lucia and it was £1500 per person for a week inc flights. safe to say we didn't go.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  7.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi ladies, ok, so how much WOULD you pay for travel and accommodation? Bearing in mind that the average flight cost is around £150pp?
    We have a large family and loads of friends and a really big bridal party, who have all displayed a lot of interest in coming, so we are planning for around 60 people out of the 120 guest list to possibly be able to actually make it, we just don't want to bankrupt them, as it's not their choice of holiday, so think it's unfair for them to pay extortionate amounts just to come to our Wedding. So what IS a reasonable amount to ask for accommodation? £150pp? X
  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    Is that £150pp per night, or pp for the whole stay?

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    £150pp for the duration of their stay. Xx
  10.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    I think that does sound reasonable for the accommodation itself, it's just all the extras on top that make everything add up. Could you put some feelers out there amongst your family/friends and see how much they'd be willing to pay?

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  11.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    If your family and friends are keen to go then im sure they will be well aware it will be a pricey few days away xx

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  12.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    The cost for accommodation sounds reasonable but like Floss said its all the extras on top xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  13.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yer, I think £150pp is do-able, venue wise, but then I think it's just the families I worry about, because nowadays they charge the same price for kids to fly as they do for Adults! So might mount up!
    I've messaged a few friends this morning, and our parents are pretty much ok with whatever, so long as it's not ridiculous, one of my BM's is at Uni so can only afford £150 max, one family of four said about £300-£350 for all of them, one other family of four said they would see it as their yearly holiday and would make the most of it, so haven't set a budget, three other couples who have a bit more money said they don't really care, they would pay whatever, and one said they would have to see nearer the time.
    So it hasn't been that helpful, apart from the BM who said that she really couldn't afford any more than £150, (but if it's just her with the money issue, then if it goes up by like £30 we are happy to cover it to make sure she was there).
    So everyone has different budgets, but then again we do think that as some of the venues can only accommodate say 24 people, then the people that could only afford £150pp could stay somewhere else nearby with some others? And the ones that are close family and more well off friends could stay at the venue? I just don't want to feel like I'm ostracising people due to their financial situation, and don't want to embarrass those that can't afford to stay at the venue? Xx
  14.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    Its a hard one Nikki, you might just be better giving them options rather than suggesting alternative cheaper hotels, show them one end of the scale to the other and let them pick themselves that way the decision is theirs and your not making it awkward for anyone and your not saying here's the dear option and the cheap option xx

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  15.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
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    Sorry is that £150 per person just for flights? Then accommodation on top of that?

    Thing is guests do feel obliged to also get a gift.

    For me and hubby, for a friend then I'd expect to not spend any more than £300 each in total for flights, accommodation and other expenses like food, drink etc and we'd probably only go for 2 nights max as otherwise it's too much time off work. For close family I would be persuaded to spend more but money doesn't grow on trees.

    We had a UK wedding but in the next county, I was worried about people who wanted to stay overnight but having to pay £80 ish for a room between 2.

    I guess it's the same concept as having a stag or hen abroad, some people can't afford it but there is so much pressure not to upset the happy couple sometimes you overstretch but it's hard. That's why I decided to have my Hen in the UK and break it down into sections so people didn't have to come to all of it if they couldn't afford it.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  16.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 30th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yer, that's a good idea SarahD! Once I find the venue I will look for nearby accommodation and sort it from there!
    Yes InDreamland, although I just looked at flight prices for June, as couldn't find any for August, and they were only about £100 each, so we might be lucky in getting cheaper flights than I first anticipated, but if it was only around £100 for flights, we still have to allow for transfers from the airport and back, so probably reasonable to still allow £150 per person for flights.
    That's why I was thinking of putting on two big extra meals, so that if they did stay for 3/4 nights, then they would only need to pay for 1 lunch and 1 dinner each, plus whatever excursion they may have planned?
    It sounds like it's mounting up, but I guess it all depends on what each person wants from their trip. My mum said she would like to see some of France by having a few trips, but I know that for some people that just isn't possible. So it all comes down to individual families/couples and their financial situation at the time? X
  17.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 1st 2015
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      edited
     
    We looked at an Italian wedding and have decided against for a variety of reasons, one of which being cost- we thought if it was us being invited to a wedding, unless like the others have said it is really close family or friends then the cost is too much- by the time you put in for flghts and taxes, food and accommodation and using probably 2 days annual you are talking £500 a person and that is just unreasonable- even if you are saying flights are £100 each and then accommodation £150 that's £250 before presents or food and drink etc, I know you said you are willing to pay for a lot but surely that would mean a huge budget of like 30k as wedding for 60 guests with all drinks for 3 nights is going to cost a bomb- don't want to put you off or dampen your plans but I think you have to be realistic about how many ppl will actually travel as you don't want to hire a big place and then have no one there xx

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  18.  
    • NikkiE58
      CommentAuthorNikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 2nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yer, I know it will add up for the guests, that's why we don't expect that Many people to be able to come. I'm still looking for the best deals possible though, so when I find the best deal for us all, I will let you all know and find out what some of you think!
    Thank you for your opinions and first hand stories, it's really helped! Xx
  19.  
    • Mrs Jones
      CommentAuthorMrs Jones
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 3rd 2015
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    Personally I wouldn't spend that much to attend a wedding, but if it was close family or a close friend I would. I also wouldn't want to spend 3/4 days either as its extras like spending money and I would also feel obliged re a gift.

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    First Date 26 April 2014
    Proposed 27 June 2015
    Happily Married 18 June 2016
 
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