My dear OH and I have very different ideas of what we want our wedding to be. I would like to go away somewhere warm with 16 of our very nearest and dearest and then come back for a supersize party for all of our other family and friends.
He would like the traditional big day wedding with 120 day guests close to where we live.
We can't seem to agree on what we're going to do.
Has anyone else had this problem and if so how did you decide?
Sarah
CommentAuthorStephH96
All I would say is that the wedding abroad can be much cheaper than a wedding at home and you have the honeymoon ready built into it! If money is a deciding factor that can help. Depends on which option you both feel more comfortable with. Were in the away camp going to Vegas and then Barbados twin centre if you would like any advice on that.
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
Hmmmm, tricky.
This probably won't help your decision however, OH wanted a beach wedding whereas I didn't. I wanted all my family and not all of them could afford it if we went abroad. We are getting married in the UK but for what it's costing us, it may have been cheaper to fly everyone out there for a wedding xx
Good luck on whatever you decide x
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorMyranny
My OH would rather have gone abroad, but we just couldn't because my grandparents would never have attended and it was important for me that they be there because also they really want to be. So we didn't have to choose.
Are there elements about the big wedding that your OH loves rather than a big wedding itself or is it literally that he wants the traditional big wedding and that's it? For me, i wanted the sit down dinner with all my family and friends so it wouldn't have been possible for me to replicate that abroad.
Could you possibly go for abroad but not long-haul? Maybe France, Spain, Italy? It might be possible for say 40 people to attend instead of 16 or 120 and you can still have a medium sized wedding with whatever elements of a "big" day your OH likes and it would still be abroad, and smaller for you? x
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I'd fallen in love with our venue before seeing it, we both wanted somewhere we could have both the reception and ceremony together so were limited, our venue was the first we saw, and th last as hubby fell in love immediately as well. He walked out and said pointless looking anywhere else.
I would write down the 3 most important things you want from your wedding day. Do you want to go abroad because of the weather? Or does he want a big celebration because he has a big family? If you can decide what you both most want from the day and then come together to discuss why you've picked those things you may understand each others point of view better and come to a compromise. X
CommentAuthorCarolH81
My husband knew about the place where we had our blessing, I had never been before, A beautiful little chapel which has a finca type restaurant in the middle of literally nowhere. We live in Spain so had to go to Gibraltar for the legal bit then had blessing 5 days later. There was 39 of us at the blessing and the day was just perfect. Also the wedding planners put on a coach to collect majority of people. We now go there every so often for lunch x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
I would recommend being open minded and researching both options equally to begin with. Look into the practicalities, the cost, maybe visit potential venues if you can (I understand that's not very easy with venues abroad, but do go chat to some travel agents to get good info). Hopefully either one of you will wind up being won over or you will be able to find a good, genuine compromise, such as a wedding abroad with a few more guests etc.
We initially considered small, low key weddings but found very quickly that cutting our guest list to less than 40 +children would have been impossible, plus my OH always imagined a big wedding too and I just think that's so sweet, so a big traditional bash it is for us :)
CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
You need to come to a compromise of some sort. My OH didn't want to get married in a church but I did. We went to view venues and the one we have chosen has a lovely barn for ceremonies and they are licensed for religious ceremonies so we are having a religious service at the venue, win win. Maybe you could look at what you want from a wedding away and what OH wants from a wedding here and try to meet in the middle. xx
The Richardson's 31/12/16
CommentAuthorfudgecube
Thanks everyone. We've visited five venues in Scotland so far but the ones I like he doesn't and the ones he likes are too expensive. It's a complete conundrum!
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
My OH wanted a Catholic church wedding, but I wasn't as fussed as I am not religious, but as its our day and I knew how important it was to him, I've agreed to do that. When it came to the reception venue, I had my heart sat on a beautiful barn with a marquee, but it was mega expensive and there was no accommodation nearby, so we had to factor that in as well as OHs family and friends are all over 350 miles for the day itself. I did however want something with an oldy feel to it and in the countryside, so we settled on a country hotel with accommodation for his family and guests. It's not 100% how I would have planned it all if I had free reign, but it's all about compromise as well and taking into account everything with people travelling etc.
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorfudgecube
We have potentially come to a compromise on the venue, somewhere in Scotland as long as its beside water..... Now we just have to try and get the guest list down from 120 to 100 or less and we may be able to make a call on it! Thanks for all your help.
