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Wedding Forum - Help! Table plan for BITTERLY divorced...

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    • bfrd2b
      Getting married in 6 weeks
      Posted: May 4th 2020
    Hi! We're getting married just under a year from now, and I am not sure how to manage my table plan to include my very very bitterly divorced parents... divorced as in - hate each other with a vengeance, outright refuse to be in the same room, custody battle for my younger sibling, father considering seeking restraining order kind of hatred.
    Further to this, my mother is estranged from my dads entire family, having bad mouthed them and blocked them all on social media. Also follows a general insistence from my dad not to have contact with her (rightly so). Despite this strained relationship and years of no contact, since our son was born I have been trying to salvage and normalize my relationship with my mother, and don't want her to miss such a big event in my life, therefore she is invited to the wedding, has offered to buy my dress etc. Plus if she wasn't invited it would undo all the work I have put into trying to fix things.
    In addition to this parental dilemma, my mother and maternal grandmother are the only family members that I have contact with on my mothers side, and therefore will be the only ones invited from that side of the family. Tables at my venue are in groups of 8.... anybody see where I'm going with this one? How on earth am I supposed to negotiate this hostile family situation? I have expressed concerns to both parents individually and they assure me they will 'behave' but nonetheless, which other 6 people am I supposed to sit my mother and grandmother with? I don't want to sit her with my friends because she is nearly 50 and they are in their 20's, partner doesn't want her to sit with the in-laws, and having them on the top table with me is 1. not what I want and 2. a kick in the teeth to my dad who is undoubtedly going to be uncomfortable anyway. This is causing me so much anxiety even a year in advance.

    Suggestions please if you have any??? Thank you xxx
    • LizziH56
      Getting married in 3 months
      Posted: Jun 27th 2020
    Here is what I would do: sweetheart top table (just you two), put mum and grandmother with a close friend or bridesmaids and ask one to watch/entertain here, put dad with groomsmen or male close family friend and ask the same. It's your wedding so don't be afraid to delegate some of the stress to your wedding party or friends, they should be glad to help
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