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Wedding Forum - Heartbroken, what to do now?...

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  1.  
    • SherylJ
      CommentAuthorSherylJ
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi everybody. Its been a while since i posted on here. I got engaged nearly two years ago but life kind of got in the way and we never
    got round to planning. Anyway my dads seriously ill in hospital and i really feel deep down in my bones that he doesn't have long left. Suddenly all i can think of is that i must get married as soon as i can whilst hes till here. We have no savings, no means of getting credit, nobody to help us. How can i make this wedding special? And please tell me i am doing the right thing x
  2.  
    • RebeccaH100
      CommentAuthorRebeccaH100
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi Sheryl,


    First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I know how painful losing a parent is and how helpless you can feel. I think you have to follow your gut, and I don't know if this is helpful but I thought I'd share my experience with you.

    My dad was much older and my entire life I felt this immense pressure to get married because the thought that he wouldn't be there for my wedding left me an emotional wreck. As time went on it seemed more and more likely that he wouldn't be at my wedding and I had moments of incredible jealousy that he was at my sister's wedding…i felt it wasn't fair.He wouldn't hold my first baby. All of these life things that I felt I was entitled to have him at. I was sure I'd feel this massive hole once I was engaged if he wasn't there. My dad passed away in 2013 about 3 weeks before I started dating my fiancé. As we approach my wedding in June, I don't feel my dad's love any less. I know he brought Ryan to me and has been by my side to fill my engagement with joy…even if I can't see him. It is different for everyone of course, but your dad will be with you on that day no matter what. I am sure that what he wants more than anything in the world, is for you to be happy.

    WIN A WEDDING WINNER 2014....Rebecca and Ryan
    'Hear my soul speak: The very instant that I saw you,
    did my heart fly to your service.'
    Met 03/2013: Engaged 12/2013: Married 06/2015
  3.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    And to add, it doesn't matter about money and all the bells and whistles. The most important bit is marrying your best friend :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  4.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    So sorry to hear that, must be so upsetting for you all. Weddings really don't need to be fancy and cost a fortune . You can have a beautiful day whatever the cost..there are some lovely Registry offices about and then all out for a meal or round to someones house for afternoon tea just a close few friends and family will be lovely special occasion for you all. Just invite the people that matter..thats what matters the most.. people make things special not things we can buy :) i wish you well with it all x

    Members signature icon
    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
    Life is Wild, Love it Live it !

  5.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    So sorry to hear about your dad. Why don't you just have a small intimate wedding with those closest to you. You don't need to spend a fortune and im sure everyone would help
  6.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this.

    May I ask why you want to rush to marry now? Is it because you want your dad there on the day or because he wants to see you get married? Has he indicated he'd like you to get married soon whilst he can still attend the wedding?

    If you haven't had the conversation with your dad it would be worth asking him how he feels.

    The only reason I ask is because my uncle was suddenly diagnosed one May with terminal cancer and given 6 weeks to live, it knocked all of us for 6, , his wife, son and daughter. His daughter was engaged but like you never got around to setting a date. She suddenly wanted to rush a wedding so he could be there but my uncle told her not to rush it and asked she didn't get married just because he was ill. Thankfully he lived for another 4 months but didn't see her get married.

    If you and your dad and your h2b want the wedding sooner rather than later then the thing that makes the day incredibly special is something money can't buy, you and your h2b making a commitment to each other for the rest of your lives with your dad and other loved ones there to share that moment. You don't need to splash the cash to say "I do", or celebrate the day together, have a small intimate ceremony and reception and keep it about spending time with family.

    Good luck with whatever you decide and if you're happy to do share the journey with all of us. If you need any help or ideas on planning a special day on a budget and quickly everyone here are full of ideas and inspiration xxxx

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  7.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad, sending lots of love to you.

    I think at this time, you need to concentrate on spending time with your Dad if you feel that he does not have long left. You could maybe have a registry office wedding with just a couple of people there, then later when you were planning on getting married to maybe have a blessing/renewal. Even if you don't marry now whilst your Dad is still here, you can incorporate him into the day with something attached to your dress/bouquet, he will always be there with you anyway.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  8.  
    • DanielleS0709
      CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I understand where you are coming from. My dad has been I'll since I was 11. I've always worried about him not being there for my wedding. Thankfully my dad's not doing so bad. If I were in your shoes I think id like to get married too so he could be there. You don't need money for that just have a small intimate family wedding. And down the line if you feel up to it you could always renew your vows and have the wedding u wanted. Sorry to hear about your dad and good luck.

    Members signature icon
    21st May 2016 xxx


  9.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    So sorry to hear about your dad, I think it's best to speak to him and find out what he wants and if it's that he wants to see you get married then you can have a small intimate wedding with your nearest and dearest and it will be everything you want as weddings only cost what you want it too xx

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


 

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