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  1.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Arghhhh I need too get this off my chest! I had agreed with my fiancé too 50-60 guests and NO children but as of last night H2B said its gonna look bad if we don't invite the kids but it's put our numbers up from 56 too 80! Where do you make the cuts? Because you have too at some point dont you? I'm completely at a loss and haven't slept with worrying! HELP GIRLS PLEASE?!

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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      edited
     
    We're lucky as there aren't that many children in our families, but if there were, I definitely wouldn't want them all there. I would probably make the cut at immediate/close family only, though it's hard explaining this to people. Some people would probably be happier not bringing their kids anyway as it will allow them to have a day off from parenting duties and allow them to fully enjoy themselves! I would just make sure you give people plenty of notice so that they have plenty of time to arrange a babysitter. X

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    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    hiya, its a tough one isn't it, do you have children yourself ? i have a 2 year old and lots of our friends have children ranging from 1-12 and we cant invite them all for cost reasons and also because i didn't want the day to revolve around running after the kids for everyone , but didn't want my daughter to be only one e.t.c. a lot of caterers i found don't charge per head if under a certain age. We having age 5 and under can come , everyone is happy with that, and if im honest i know some of them who are please and now really looking forward to a weekend away without the kids to have some adult time.. but we both have a very small family, no cousins or aunts e.t.c so no children in the family, I think if the kids are part of your family its harder to make the decision, whether to invite kids or not.. good luck :)

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  4.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    It is so hard! I wasn't really stressed at all until this cropped up last night! h2B family is huge where as mine isn't but most of my friends have at least 1 child! We are going too have too discuss it tonight in detail because it's driving me crazy lol! So so worried I thought the same that adults would like a cheeky night away or something!

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    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I personally definitely wouldn't invite children of your friends x

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  6.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    JUst go with the friends only.

    I had a few friends with children who I asked them if they would mind awfully if they did not come as I was only having the kids of family (nieces and nephews), my MOH's two and my other very good friend's one. They were more than happy about it to be honest and said they would prefer it if they did not come so they could enjoy themselves properly.

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  7.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I agree with Flossie and glitterfairy, you really don't need to invite your friends children at all, i only am doing under 5's so my daughter has some little ones to play with and because a couple are babies.. x

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  8.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Just explain to them that it ups the numbers too much, I am sure they would be more than happy if they knew it was that and not because you just did not want kids there.

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    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  9.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    We are having no children other than our own plus our nieces & nephews, that's amounted to 13 children which is plenty lol.
    We have invited 98 people, when we added cousin's/friends/etc kids that added another 30 to the list, the max seated capacity of our venue is 120.

    I am worried about how our family's will take the news but then again we have been to weddings on both sides of our family & our children haven't been invited to most of them, out of 6 weddings the children have been invited to 2. The 2 that they were invited to didn't have space issues though & there were a lot less children in the family then :)

    What we did early on in our planning was sit down with our parents & ask what they thought about not inviting extended families children, the only one with a slight issue was H2B's mum. She said children make a wedding & that it's a time for all of the family to get together, but once we explained the space issue she was fine.
  10.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Thankfully the only children at our wedding will be OH's cousins, so close family, and my flower girl. Nobody else has young children and all of my cousins are over 16. I would say children of close family only, definitely not friends. A women I work with has a 5 year old and her daughter won't be invited. Like you said adults will be grateful for a night away where they are able to enjoy themselves x

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  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    The hardest part is knowing how to word it/tell people. As GF said, I would just tell them it's down to number restrictions rather than just saying you don't want children there! x

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    xx
  12.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I think like already mentioned people will want a night off, one of my bridesmaids has 4 kids and we have kids attending the wedding but only a small amount and I was willing to have them all attend the day, but on asking her she said she would prefer not to bring the kids and can enjoy the day more, people will probs be very understanding x

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  13.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Thanks girls! It's so stressful! Deffo gonna have too discuss it with H2B tonight but I'm DEFFO voting for the no kids side purely for cost reasons and with them being bored/crying/screaming etc

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  14.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    We have decided no children at all so the youngest person there will be my 15 yr old cousin so shes not exactly a little one. All the potential children to invite would have been cousins children and we have only met 2 of them. We spoke with our cousins before we sent the save the dates to explain children wouldnt be invited and wrote a reminder on the back of the save the dates saying we hope they'll still be able to join us for a night off. No one has had an issue with it so far.

    Why does your h2b think its going to look bad if you don't invite children? If you had previously agreed to no children, what has changed? Has someone said something to him and now hes worried what everyone else will say? X
  15.  
    • beximo86
      CommentAuthorbeximo86
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    We have a total of 5 children coming to the wedding but that includes a 13 and 11 year old, and the youngest will be 6. We have said from the off that no children will be invited, this includes my close friends children that I regularly see. I also have a teenage stepbrother and sister that I do not see or speak to and as such are not invited, I've found it quite easy to tell people 'no' - but maybe I'm a heartless b1tch, haha. I think it stems from having to be firm with my job so that helps - I just feel that weddings are more for adults (and I don't want to hear screaming/wailing babies on my video nor do I want grubby hands on my dress!) But it might be different if I had kids myself! x
  16.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    At the end of the day its your wedding day and it should go how you want it to. I was at a wedding last year with no kids and the couple themselves don't have kids as it was respected. Everyone has their own opinions on children attending but who cares what they think its what you want. I am going to have a small amount of kids at my wedding but 2 of them are flower girl and my step son the others are a little older so no babies coming.

    Xx

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  17.  
    • DanielleS0709
      CommentAuthorDanielleS0709
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    The only children we are inviting is our nieces and nephews and of course our son lol I have a few friends with kids around my sons age but won't be inviting their kids and to be honest I think they will be glad as they will be glad of a child free day out! Maybe your guests would be too? Unless you have any BEST friends who's kids are like family to you then I'd probably invite them

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    21st May 2016 xxx


  18.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    The only children we allowed were family which was very few (3 to be precise , plus a 3 month old baby of one of hubby's friends because it cost us nothing).

    Real friends will understand.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  19.  
    • AmyM8
      CommentAuthorAmyM8
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    It's so hard! We've agreed to not have children at our day apart from one niece and two nephews. It's caused serious issues with the best men and their wife's are no longer coming and one has told everyone we're anti children blah blah blah but for us it's a numbers issue.

    In my opinion you have to choose one rule and stick to it. We have a few extra spaces opened up due to people not coming and OH suggested filling with children but how do you decide who's children you choose over the others?! Decided to stick to the no children apart from directly related family members to keep what peace we have.

    Stick to your guns! Most people will understand, what ever it is you decide to do.
  20.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We are inviting 5 children our almost 6 year old son, his friend (my best friends girl same age as ds) and our 3 nephews aged 6, 8 and 11. Nephews are invited because they are nephews, ds for obvious reasons and me friends girl as she is ds friend and they will play/keep one another amused.

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    Getting married 15.08.15.
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  21.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    H2B's cousin text me last night asking if kids were invited, I said no due to space issue's, she wasn't happy as it's her son's birthday that day!
    When H2B got in I said to him & he said "I don't see the big deal about the kids coming, just invite them" we have talked about this so many times & now he acts like its no problem.
    His family is huge already without adding kids to that number, it will add 30 more to our guest list. The hall isn't big enough for all of the children, his solution was "Invite them but explain the kids won't have a seat/space at the table" which is absolutely ridiculous!!
    In an ideal world I would love to have all of the children at the reception (not church) but I just don't see how it will work??
  22.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    There are very few kids involved with our families so we are sort of lucky, the only one coming is our flower girl who is 20 months.

    From our friends who do have kids, they prefer to not bring them to weddings as it's a chance for them to let their hair down :)

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    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  23.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    It is a hard decision to make,

    We are only having our 2 page boys there during the day, everyone else is over 16, but that's just because of the age of our family's. We did however originally say (before we knew how many day guests we would be having) that we would allow mothers who were nursing their babies to bring them along as we would have preferred them to come with baby in toe than not at all.

    However we have said that all children are welcome in the evening.
  24.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Thanks girls! Adding kids is hitting our costs up and space will be more limited AND seating plan will have too be adjusted too make sure kids can sit with parents etc my best friend (bridesmaid) said if kids come she wouldn't bring her son (who I class as a nephew) Cus she believes it'd be selfish as she knows he wouldn't settle (he's just gone 2) so don't see why anyone else would kick off? I wasn't stressed until it came down too this! If it was solely up too me there would be NO kids but I've gotta compromise i spose! Gonna go for no under 12's I think as a compromise what do you all think??

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  25.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Yeah no under 12's sounds good, that way you will have some younger people there but not babies that may not settle or any kids that need constant attention. Over 12's can entertain themselves and would be much better behaved.

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  26.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    I think it's a bit generic.. you could have an 8 year old for an example who is good as gold, but a 13 year old who is a right pain in the *****. I would personally just invite all children in your immediate family and then not invite any of the others i.e. children of friends.

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  27.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    EmmaP2B that's what I thought! It's the best option I think!
    Flossie if I do that friends may get offended? If I say no under 12s it's a fair cut off point I think?

    Arghhhh why are weddings so stressful lol! Hate not knowing what too do for the best! I want everything too be perfect and nobody too be upset

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  28.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Should your friends not understand that a wedding is about close family and friends? If I had a child I wouldn't expect my friend to invite them to their wedding.

    If you said no U12s would you end up offending any of your family members?

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  29.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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      edited
     
    Maybe you could invite close family members children no matter what age but then on the invites to your friends and not so close family write no under 12's, that way close family won't be put out that they can't bring their children and others should understand x

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  30.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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      edited
     
    Children or should we say 'teenagers' over 12 might not even have any interest in attending a wedding anyway, especially boys... they might be too busy with their mates or whatever it is they do these days... Emma's suggestion is good if you really want to invite some of your friends children, although if it was me I would just say no children of friends at all x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  31.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    If it was solely up too me it'd be NO kids period! H2b agreed until the other night I still haven't found out what's so drastically changed his mind is it selfish too not want too compromise? My mom has even said she'd hate there too be kids there for behaviour reasons! I think I'll just show h2b this thread tonight after we've been too the gym and he can read all your ideas! Thanks so much girls your all keeping me sane lol

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
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  32.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Of course it's not selfish of you, it's your day and you should be 100% happy with the arrangements! Hope you can come to a decision that you are both happy with x

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    18th June 2016
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  33.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    It is not selfish at all, it is what would make you happy! I hope you can come to some sort of compromise with your OH! x

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    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
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  34.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We didn't have any children at our wedding.
  35.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    your friends really wont be offended at all.. invite family children if have to but no one elses :) you have ages to work out your guest list so don't let it stress you out, its the beginning of your planning :)

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  36.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We are in inviting family' s children only,this includes out god children, that's it, all our friends are fine with it, we'd have to pay an extra £28 fora children's meal, which is ridiculous really, so we decided to say no friends children,we wouldn't gave enough money in our budget to pay,
    I think you should just invite family's children, friends have plenty of time to get used to the idea, don't forget the extra expense that comes with extra people too! Chair covers, favours, centre pieces ( if extra tables needed) it all ads up. Hope you arnt too stressed now and. The decision is easier for you xx
  37.  
    • SydnieH
      CommentAuthorSydnieH
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We've got just nieces and nephews, who are all part of the wedding party, and our 2 boys under the age of 16, except for my youngest cousin. We have invited other guests children to the evening but said because of keeping numbers down, we have a 60 guest max for ceremony, we would rather just adults. Plus we marry on a Friday morning so kids be at school anyway. We have our 2 boys and then 3 flower girl dresses and one of our bridesmaids, so not too many children.
  38.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Thankyou so much girls seriously! Just hope we can sort out a decision were both happy with lol just hate feeling as if I'm being selfish

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  39.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Your deffo not being selfish,weddings are expensive,surely people realise this xx
  40.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Invite them to the evening if your worried xx
  41.  
    • EmmaH444
      CommentAuthorEmmaH444
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We're just inviting nieces and nephews too. Good luck!

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  42.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    We have children coming to our wedding.... 15 in total but all but 2 will be over 7yrs.

    I appreciate a no children wedding as I wouldn't take my son even if he was invited as he would get bored and it's chance for me to let my hair down and enjoy the service, however, weddings I feel personally are family events and I'd be gutted if I was told my son couldn't go.... Choosing not to take him is completely different.

    Please, this is only my personal view. What you decide is not wrong in anyway, it's personal choice. I hope you come to a compromise xx

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    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  43.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 12th 2015
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    I THINK we've come too the arrangement of NO under 12s! Thanks so much girls your all so amazing! Feeling a lot less stressed today feels like a weights been lifted

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  44.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 12th 2015
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    Glad you have made a decision and it's the right one for you, now enjoy this stress free time now xx
  45.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 12th 2015
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      edited
     
    Next is the seating plan I wasn't gonna do one Cus I don't care where people sit to be honest lol but I'm gonna have too I think

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
    I steal his last name -TBC
  46.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 12th 2015
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    we are lucky as we dont have many kids in our family and my 8 year old son is the youngest,so the ceromony and wedding breakfast should be a relaxed affair, but the evening reception will about 8 under 12s and a few in their teens so just hope it isnt too much

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  47.  
    • FutureMrs-B
      CommentAuthorFutureMrs-B
      Got married 32 months ago
      Posted: Feb 12th 2015
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    I'm sure it'll be perfect for you it's whatever works best isn't it? It's just stressful the planning part!

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    He stole my heart -O2/O7/2O11
    He made my dreams come true -24/12/2O13
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