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  1.  
    • NatalieD205
      CommentAuthorNatalieD205
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 29th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    hi guys,
    I'm really getting upset at my mother in law to be who at 4 weeks from the wedding has now asked if she can come and stay at a hotel the night before with my family and bridesmaids so she can get ready with us in the morning because she wants to get ready with her daughter who is a bridesmaid.
    I'm really offended on behalf of my h2b as I feel like she is choosing to spend the time with his sister over him although it is his big day!!!!
    The whole time we have planned this wedding I have felt that she doesn't want to be involved much as she wishes it was he daughter getting married first.
    She doesn't want to talk about wedding stuff unless her daughter is around and I find it hard to converse with her when I feel like she doesn't say what she thinks.
    I really don't know how to handle this..... could anyone help?
    I don't want to cause a lot of trouble right before our wedding......
    I just feel like everyone treats her with kid gloves and I'm getting tired of it.... I'm quite open and honest and just want to talk this through but she doesn't respond to my txts and is hard to talk to face to face because she wont commit to anything.
    please help!!!!!!!

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  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 29th 2014
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    Do you think maybe she feels a bit left out of the whole thing? I understand you have tried to involve her, but often the groom's mother can feel a little left out. Maybe she is fussing around her daughter quite a bit as that's one of the ways she can make herself feel more involved? Obviously I don't know her and what she is like though..!!

    I have wondered about asking my mother-in-law to be part of the day by getting ready with me, my bridesmaids and my own mum. She doesn't have any daughters so she will never experience the whole mother of the bride thing. xx

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    18th June 2016
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  3.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 29th 2014
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    It's possible she genuinely wants to be a part of the girls crowd and help her daughter to get ready. It does seem a bit bizarre though that she would do this now having been a bit distant before. It may also be that she wants to make sure her daughter doesn't feel on the edge, as being the groom's sister is a bit of a funny role. I've been in the situation twice, and been bridesmaid each time. I got on well with both girls, and in the first case lived near the chief bridesmaid so was very involved. The second time was weird though. I didn't know the bride as well as the first time, although I'd met her a fair few times, but only in college vacations. She was great but I didn't know the other bridesmaids and I did occasionally feel a bit out of place. Do you particularly not want her there? Maybe H2B could say to her that he'd like her to be with him that morning, helping him to get ready.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
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  4.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 29th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Elinor that is a good idea I think ^^ save it seeming like you dont want her there.
    On the other side will it really matter to you that much as in wont you be too busy to worry about her on the day? Could you tell her that you are arriving at a different time so that you and your closest people can arrive earlier and have time together?
    Is your h2b bothered?
  5.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 30th 2014
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    How does you oh feel about it?

    I agree with others about maybe trying to get him to tell her that he wants her to get ready with him, it's his big day and surely he wants his mum there?




  6.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 30th 2014
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    My h2bs mother (if they get rooms sorted) will be staying the night before at the hotel so won't be getting ready with Alan as he will be at home with his bestman and our son. She won't be getting ready with me though she will be in her room with Alan's sisters and nephews. Alan's sisters aren't BMs tho but I wouldn't have mil getting ready too. At my sils wedding the mother of the bride (mil) didn't get ready with the bride either she had to get ready on her own

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    Getting married 15.08.15.
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