Wedding Forum - Great but horrid experience! :( **UPDATE**...

So the future wife and I just got back from London after meeting with an amazing photographer - She's absolutely perfect and is everything we are looking for however we are going to meet with the other photographers just incase although we know we will probably do with her anyway! It was going really well and having a good old chat about what we were planning and going through ideas for the day when this utterly vile woman comes over to us screaming her head off say we shouldn't be that loud in a cafe (we weren't, merely excited) and that we were that rude and discourteous that they are going to have to leave and find something elsewhere to suit their high standards! She then carried on shouting at as saying how dare we discuss our same sex wedding in public and how we shouldn't be getting married in a church etc and said that if we really were churchgoers then we should understand the etiquette on how to be quiet in public if we go to church! Speechless.... I dare she :(

I didn't want to cause trouble, particularly as we were next to the train station with plenty of police everywhere but inwardly I was fuming and wanted to thump her! She was just so unbelievably rude and up herself, her whole manner was simply appalling.. I didn't realize people like that existed still and when they did they keep their views to themselves. To outwardly have a go at us for who we are is just abominably rude!! I don't know who she thought she was and clearly she needed to learn some manners. I know there are people on here and elsewhere who won't approve of us and have similar views to her but you don't have to voice them... We are a couple in love wanting to celebrate our marriage and future life together! Love is love surely?? :(

Me neither, she carried on and on but I was trying to keep my cool as I could see Debbie getting really upset and I didn't want to embarrass us in front of the photographer.. Who was gobsmacked too by her abysmal behaviour too! We really love her and everything is perfect but out of loyalty to the appointments we've already made we will still go to them and check them out!

What an awful woman! If she truly knew anything about etiquette she would not have raised her voice to a stranger in a public place... to be honest I'm really surprised she was able to hear you talking given her head is lodged so far up her own arse. I'm not even going to get started on her point of view, but I completely agree with you, love is love.

Thanks ladies! I'm feeling abit calmer now thankfully, she got me so wound up but I behaved with dignity and manners whereas she didn't and appeared to upset her because when she said she'd have to go elsewhere I just said 'oh dear!'.. Apart from that I let her have a go because the less I said the more people saw her for what she is... It's upsetting to see people like this when really as you say, if they get out of their own arses, they would see what love is. I was more gobsmacked to tell you the truth which is why I didn't say anything and was just glad to see her go. Unfortunately there were no staff around to help as we were in the upstairs seating area. Any decent person would just lean over politely and say 'would you mind....' but no she has to be rude and air her opinions to the world!

Its great you've found your photographer hopefully you will get it booked next weekend then xx

Thanks Lala

At least something went well anyway!!

Sounds like she has no respect what so ever!! Dont take it personally, you both make a great couple and Im really happy for you both :) congratulations

I did my best even though I was gobsmacked.. She had no shame though and thought she was right amazingly. I was the one showing herself up as you say and I acted with grave and decorum... Probably the only time in my life but there you go lol. Bit happier now, we've been upstairs relaxing watching the hobbit and eating roast beef! Thanks for your support ladies, it means a lot to have you all here fighting our corner.. We are in love as much as the next couple, so what that we want to get married, it's legal now so tough luck to her!

I still can't believe she thought you were the ones being wrong!
I'd have given her a right mouthful and made her think long and hard about her own behaviour.

If you come across her again, slap her with the equal ops law!!!

Great news on the photography.

It makes my blood boil though, I know plenty of straight couples who should have never have been allowed to marry... yet noone would go up to them and say they are wrong. (won't get into details but people who are marrying for visa's, people who are marrying because they think it will stop the other one cheating ect.) noone would stop them in the middle of their wedding talk to say, hang on a minute I don't think you should be getting married just from looking at them.

Yet you two who are in love and want to get married for all the right reasons get abuse like that.


Like you say, it's legal now so she can suck it up, if she doesn't agree with it then she doesn't have to ever go to a same sex wedding. But she can't stop couples like you looking forward to and enjoying the build up to their big day.

That's unbelievable. Well done for not rising to the bait. You both know that what you're doing is good, so it's not worth rising to those idiots who think they're better than you. So sorry you were humiliated in public, but I bet the other people in the café were annoyed with her not you.

Years ago someone would have said the same to a mixed race couple Catherine.... imagine if you were advising a mixed race couple who had been told the same and they were questioning whether they were doing the right thing.... what would you say?
In fact imagine it wasn't you it had happened to, but another same sex couple on here... what would your advice be?

You don't need to question anything you are doing, do you love your fiancée? yes, do you want to spend the rest of your lives together? yes..... do you have just as much a right to marry and celebrate your love as me and my fiancé or any other couple planning there wedding whether they're same sex, opposite sex, whatever? HELL YES!!!

Don't ever let horrible people like that upset you, you may have felt humiliated when she acted how she did, but you have no reason too, she humiliated herself not you or your fiancée or your photographer... I wish someone had stepped in to stand up for you, but they were probably just as gob-smacked as you were. I'm the same as you and I would have just been so taken aback that I wouldn't have thought of what to say until after she left.


Me and my fiancé actually decided against one Church because when we visited them they had an anti-gay marriage poster up as you walked in, so don't let her put you off getting married in a Church.... I'm sure for everyone of her there are more couples like us who support you

Just put a link on your wall that is relevant

Haha, I did think of you Lala! I'll line them up for you to slap later

Going to post Lana!

what a horrible woman....can't be a church goer herself, surely, as her behaviour wasn't very 'christian'

well done for keepign your cool, id of bloody well had her. horrible cow

In our methodist church congregation we have a methodist minister who is chaplain at the university in the city, and got civil partnershipped a couple of years ago. She's currently on maternity leave having had a beautiful daughter. They have been warmly welcomed as a family, and their daughter is to be baptised in our church. We're not all against homosexual marriage, and I truly hope that one day the Methodist church will agree to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry in the church. I think it will happen, the process will take a couple of years.

Just wanted to weigh in on the issue of interracial relationships - it never even crossed my mind that some people might have an issue with it, until the day I introduced my OH to my uncles and aunts at a family do and was told by my uncle that friends of his stopped talking to him when he married my aunt and even her 2 teenage daughters (from a previous relationship) at the time left home and disowned their mother because they didn't approve. Thankfully both our families and friends have been nothing but supportive of our relationship which is why I am always taken aback when people ask me about my fiance and then give me a look when I say he's white (for those who don't know, I'm of Indian descent - OH won't let me say that I am Indian because I've only ever been there on holiday) anyway, as well as looks, I also get the elongated "ohhh" of surprise quite a lot.
My other uncle's MIL is against interracial relationships to the point where her son went to great lengths to make sure she never found out about his girlfriend. One day he was admitted to hospital (until then he was unaware he had diabetes) and whilst in the hospital his mum and girlfriend happened to go visit at the same time which is when his mum discovered she had a 5 year old grandaughter. She now adores the little girl and has made a complete u-turn in her views about interracial relationships... its just a shame her narrow-mindedness forced her son to live a secret life and caused her to miss out on the first 5 years of her grandaughter's life. Deep down I knew she didn't approve of my relationship but would never have said anything to us, especially as her son-in-law's 3 siblings were all in interracial marriages long before OH and I started seeing each other.

Showgirl my mum used to say that she'd love me to marry a dark skinned man so that I would have golden coloured children :) Obviously she wasn't being serious, but the children of mixed race marriages are absolutely gorgeous. I have a friend at church whose husband is African, and her children are beautiful.

Some people just don't know when to keep their mouth shut, must have been horrible for you. X

Glad you're feeling better today Catherine. And you're right you know, love is love and everyone IS entitled to it! Really wish there was a like button on here sometimes, loving some of the comments that have been placed (Lala, Clarenina, Velcro etc) lol xx

how awful! I don't know how you kept so level-headed. I totally agree with you - love is love and it should be celebrated! I think she needs to take a long hard look at herself and her behaviour before commenting on manners and 'high standards'. Blooming cheek of it!
But at least planning and photography hunting is going well! x

Hi girls, we met up with the other 3 photographers today and it was certainly a mixed bag:

1) Such a wet fish in more ways than one!
2) Didn't like her much in person but when she was behind the camera doing an impromtu 'engagement shoot' after we'd chatted she was really nice even if she was a little bossy!
3) THIRD TIME LUCKY! She's our woman.... We've got an engagement shoot, all day coverage from bridal prep to first dance, a large beautiful handmade wedding album, USB with photos on and an online gallery too! She will also provide smaller 'present' albums for parents etc if we want for £35 each...... Without the 'present' albums, we've got all that for the grand total of £450! She's amazing, totally gets us, what we want and our humour and literally within 10 seconds of sitting down we knew she was the right one. Instantly at ease, laughing and chatting so we are ecstatic that we finally have our photographer!!!! And the best bit? She is starting to go into a 'partnership' with a guy just graduating who does wedding videos doing a deal together and if we like his work too, we'd get an all day film from him for just £150 as one of the first ones booking them together but either way we've got a GREAT tog who we love and feel so comfortable around! WOOP! After all that horribleness the other day, we feel soooo much better :) xx

fab news! :)

That's an amazing deal. We paid £750 for something similar, and £500 for a video with someone separate.

Thank you ladies! We are so pleased and we are really excited about our engagement shoot as that's something we never thought we'd get for our budget.... AND it's going to be in my hometown which means so much to me, especially as we can't get married there at the church so at least I'll have some memories from there :) going off in June on our anniversary to do that which is quite apt! Showgirl - I will ask her if she'd travel xx