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Wedding Forum - Friend invite dilemma...

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  1.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ok so here is my problem,
    please give honest views,
    I have a friend I was very close to since my first child started nursery, so around about 8 years ago, we did everything together,in the last couple of years we drifted apart a bit,still seen each other but it was different,I had to make all the effort,she didn't treat me very well,she got close to someone else and basically I was in the background,before all this I was like I'm getting married and had automatically said she was coming to my wedding ( all day ) now my h2b has rightly said she hasn't treated me well and he doesn't want her at the day just the evening, I was like eek! This is awkward for me, I still see her, on and off, we haven't mentioned the wedding apart from me saying it's stressing me out! I'm one of those people that find it hard yo be ruthless as everyone I've asked so far has said,don't say anything to her and just give her the evening invite, I feel I have to explain why ( obviously I'm not gonna say as your a rubbish friend lately,it would be about numbers and saving money which is true as well) what would you do please help!
    Sorry for long post but felt I needed to explain properly x
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would personally invite her to the evening only. For us, the day is for sharing with people who are really close to you and who you couldn't imagine not being there.. Because you have drifted apart so much it doesn't sound like you have that closeness now x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    When reading this, I felt I was reading my own story, only difference was that it was my moh, and that feeling got more so after the wedding. I can see why your partner does not want her at the whole day, but I also know how awkward you feel.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm definitely just inviting her to the evening, she has a partner and 4 children,2 of those would be adult prices anyway, so it does come down to cost too!

    I just don't feel I cannot leave it without saying anything but most people say just to post invite and not say a thing.
    It's the only thing I'm stressing about!
  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think you need to say anything. Only say something if she questions it x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  6.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah I don't think you need to say anything, or if you really feel uncomfortable just posting it, then next time you see her let her know that invites are going out but that you can only invite her to the evening due to cost.




  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Just give her the evening invite and if she asks explain its a numbers space and cost thing.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Send the evening invite and only say why if she asks. She might notice that your friendship isn't what it used to be either x

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  9.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 25th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I wouldn't say anything and just send the eve invite. I've drifted apart from some of my friends so will only be inviting them to the eve x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  10.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
      BadgeBadge
     
    I agree with the others just give her an evening invite x
  11.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Just invite her to the evening and dont say anything unless she asks. Just becuse they've known you for a long time it doesn't mean they get a free pass to all day guest. They have to bother with you enough for you to pay the cost of a day guest.

    If it comes up just say you aren't as close and she doesn't see you as much so your day guests are really tight knit family and a few friends only.

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  12.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks all, this has helped me a lot :) xx
  13.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Keep us updated on how it goes.




  14.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 26th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Ok will do ladies , thanks, appreciate your help xx
  15.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 3rd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    ok so an update.....
    ive given her partner the invite, i did ask him to explain but being a typical man, he didn't say anything to her, just gave her it, so ive sent her a text (i know i know, i cant help it) jut saying, H2B wanted some friends and need to save pennies so, had to keep numbers down, hope she understands....

    she came back with she totaly understands and she will be there for the evening,

    Phew, im glad that's done, it was stressing me out so much.

    Thanks for all the advise and support ladies xx
 
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