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Wedding Forum - Flowergirl problems...

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    • LaurenM98
      Posted: Nov 4th 2016
    Hi everyone, I get married in 7 months. I have four bridesmaids and a flowergirl. My bridesmaids are are very petite, me included, and my flowergirl will be 9 and a half and is very tall. I decided she would have to be in the same colour as my bmaids so it looks normal. I saw a dress when I was out, couldn't see it on the company website so panicked and decided to buy it. F.girl tried it on that night and everything was fine. A few days later my mother in law to be comes round with the dress, saying I'll need to return it, flowergirl wants a floor length princess dress. I, naturally was fuming and found this very rude. Nonetheless I returned the dress that day, with the suspicion it was my partners sister who had wanted it returned. I decided I'd need to compromise and get an ivory dress because I'll find it difficult to get another silver/ grey one in the shops. So I chose a new ivory one, showed it to my mother in law and said that's the style of dress she'll be wearing, a floor length princess dress won't go with the rest of the bridal party. The next day my partners sister posts online that she is looking at flowergirl dresses, can't wait to see her in a princess dress, and just needs to find shoes. I took that as it was put up to wind me up, and messaged my partner. He doesn't get on with his sister so called his mum explaining I'd be choosing the dress because it's my wedding, the sister started crying on the phone to the mum and a mountain was created from a molehill. It turns out it was her who wanted the dress returned to start with. I went round to my mother in laws, said my piece and explained had her daughter messaged me to start with explaining it's not the kind of dress she had in mind we could have compromised, instead of blaming it on her daughter and sending her mum round to my door telling me to return it. That night she deleted me off of Facebook. I'd rather she weren't at the wedding now because it's the only bit of trouble we have had with the planning , and my partner didn't want her there to start with until I said he'd have to invite her. But neither of us want to upset his mum. I feel that the flowergirl is maybe a bit too old for that role and should instead be a junior bridesmaid, I never got to ask her to be a flower girl, I was kind of just told that's what she would be. But I don't want anymore arguments and stress over it so am torn between just letting them go and do what they like, or saying listen she should really be in a dress to match the bridesmaids. Any advice welcome!
    • LauraH813
      Posted: Nov 4th 2016
    Hi Lauren, boy does it make me mad when I read posts like this. Why on earth do people, usually family, think it's acceptable to dictate someone's wedding. Grrr! It sounds to me as though you really want to exclude the sister but I do think that doing this would cause you more grief than it's worth. Had she been a cousin or a random relative then my advice would be drop her and her daughter from the guest list. However as groom's sister it would be tricky and quite possible your MIL will say she's not coming either. Cue more grief. Plus you would probably never hear the end of it for years to come. My advice, ignore the fb childishness and tell SIL straight that her daughter will wear what you choose or she won't be able to be in the wedding party. Simple. Good luck x
    • NicoleW665
      Got married 30 months ago
      Posted: Nov 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Gosh this sounds like a tricky situation! I know it will be difficult but I think maybe you should stick to your guns on this one. Tell them it's your and H2B's wedding and you both know how you want it to be. That you want flower girl to match the bridesmaids so that it's all uniform and you could even go as far to say you want her to be a junior bridesmaid that way they can't argue that she needs to match.

    it really does get on my nerves when people try to tell others what to have/do at their own wedding. If they want it done a certain way they can do, but at their own weddings!

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
    • LaurenM98
      Posted: Nov 4th 2016
    Thanks for the advice, I think you's are right. I'll need to just say that she should be a junior bridesmaid and I've seen a couple of dresses online that match the other bridesmaids. If that isn't good enough there isn't much more I can do. I don't want any more arguments or stress over something that is such a small part of the day. She can always get changed into something else after the ceremony and photos have been done.
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