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  1.  
    • CaseyW50
      CommentAuthorCaseyW50
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 13th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Me and my h2b are stressing out about our upcoming wedding due to our families. My parents and mil do not get on at all, and are refusing to be in the same room as each other. It's really getting me down that everyone is being like this, I feel like we should postpone the wedding until we try and solve the family issues. Proper stressed :(

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    Met in 2008
    Together since 4th June 2009
    Engaged since 22nd August 2012
    Soon to be Mrs C in 2016
  2.  
    • Katya
      CommentAuthorKatya
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 13th 2015
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    babe... it is your day!

    Simply invite them all round yours or mutual ground such as a restaurant (dont tell them all that they will all be there) then when they all arrive, tell them if they cannot resolve their issues or agree to place their issues on the back burner for your day then NONE of them are invited. At the end of the day if they love you more than they hate eachother, they will cooporate!

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    Find out who you are & do it on purpose!


  3.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    Like katys idea x

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    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  4.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    It so annoys me when people are like this and refuse to be in teh same room for one day. They need to grow up and get out the playground and be civil to each other, both for you and your hubby, even if only one day.

    We had BIL's older daughters at the wedding and they refuse to speak to their Dad, at a funeral the previous year they had wanted to put a pint over his head, however, on the day, they were civil, they did not get close to him or talk to him, or cause any issues. If they can do such a grown up thing in their 20s then so should an older adult. That's what I think.

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    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    Definitely do not postpone your wedding because of other people! This is your day and they should be mature enough to just be civil for the sake of one day. If they cannot behave like adults and get on with each other for the sake of you and your wedding then they're not invited, simple! Sorry you are having a hard time of it, I hope things get better for you x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  6.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    You've got a fair while yet in order to resolve things. You could change the traditional order of the top table round so that MIL doesn't sit with your father. Is there anyone other than you and your H2B that knows both families and that could act as mediator to take the load off you? Or can you get an agreement that for the wedding day they will be civil to each other for your sakes?

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  7.  
    • Mrs D2B
      CommentAuthorMrs D2B
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    I would just tell them that for the sake of one day, YOUR day, they can be civil and if they can't be civil either they don't come or they will be removed.
    My sister is concerned with how her mum will behave on her wedding day (she has done some pretty horrific things to our dad since they split up 10 years ago) and because of this she has decided against a sit down meal and opted for buffet style instead allowing people to sit where they want and hopefully preventing any situation by not forcing our dad and her mum to be in each others company (she has also told her mum that if she causes any problems she will be escorted out of the wedding).
    I've gone a different direction, I am currently not on good terms with my MIL(long story but we are hoping this will change in the next few years as we used to be very close) and my history with my mum isn't good, so in order to make sure I enjoy my day I will go against the traditional top table, instead I will have my bridesmaids and h2b groomsmen on the top table and then have the family on 2 tables separate from the top table but next to it (if that make sense) so that I can relax but, fingers crossed, the family members won't feel too put out.
    At the end of the day you'll have to do what works for you but you will need to take control, sitting back and worrying about what will be is another stress you don't need in the run up to your big day.
    Good luck xx

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    31/12/2017 A New Year, A New Life, A New Husband and Wife


  8.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Definitely don't postpone your day. I think I would just send the invites and if anyone asks if the others are invited, simply smile and say yes. If they can't be civil for one day then they don't have to come. This leave it up to them to make the decision and doesn't make you or h2b look bad by picking sides. X
  9.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    Katya x

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    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  10.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    OMG they need a good slapping

  11.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    I don't know why families can't just get on for one day. There seems to be a lot of us that are going through similar things

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    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  12.  
    • Katya
      CommentAuthorKatya
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 14th 2015
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    YAY!!!! Lala is back to her slapping ways!

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  13.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    I agree with Katya, and it would need to be done sooner rather than later as you don't want it like this for the whole of your planning.. and tell them if they cant say anything nice then not to say anything at all with regards to each other or the wedding. sorry to hear its like that for you , cant believe they would put there petty differences above your happy day. crazy.. they need a reality check , good luck :)

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    Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
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  14.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    Lala... Lol!!! I belly laughed at that



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    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  15.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    How childish and selfish, for both sides of parents to behave like that.

    I'd lock them all in a room together until they can agree to at least be civil to each other for one day for the sake of their children's happiness.

    Failing that none of them are invited to the wedding. Shame on them!

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  16.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  17.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    so sad how some people can act,
    my uncle is being like this after i invited my auntie, they are divorced but ive still remained close to her as-well as him, he isnt too happy, ive just said im inviting them and you and if you choose not to come thats up to you, i did say that if he cant do this for me for one day (put his differences to the side for one day)then its a shame he cant do that for his niece, so the ball is in his court now, im not letting anyone tell me who should and shouldn't come to my day.
  18.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    sorry that your family are making you feel this way, however I have to agree with everyone else DO NOT put yourself out and prospone you are making your own family now your getting married and I would advise you put yourself 1st. This is their issue anyway not yours and you shouldn't have to be the ones sorting it out. im sure for 1 day they can put their grievences aside then go their separate ways.

    good luck hun

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  19.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    I agree with everyone. Don't let your families have any power over your day. They need to suck it up for you both and plaster a smile on for the photos.

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  20.  
    • CaseyW50
      CommentAuthorCaseyW50
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you everyone, I will try and resolve this hopefully in the near future xx

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    Met in 2008
    Together since 4th June 2009
    Engaged since 22nd August 2012
    Soon to be Mrs C in 2016
  21.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 15th 2015
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    You're not alone with situations like this! I've had this also. Because of it, unfortunately I no longer have a relationship with my mam and stepdad or sister and her fiance. I hope you manage to solve yours with a better (and more grown up) result! x

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    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


 
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