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    • EmmaC1317
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 26th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Hi everyone,

    I've been engaged for nearly 8 weeks and me and my H2B have booked our wedding (with parents blessing) for May 2016. However, in worried that, as my parents are quite traditional and set in their ways that if things are not done exactly the way they want to to be that they aren't going to be happy. His mum is quite 'loud' and does at times seem to take over, whereas my mum is quite quiet. My mum told me the other day that she was glad I'd decide that I didn't want my future mother in law to come and choose the dress as she wouldn't have come.

    I'm also not sure if my mum and dad are actually happy that we're getting married, they don't seem to be happy about it when we talk about any of it!

    How do I keep everyone happy and get everyone to be as excited about this wedding as I am?!

    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
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    It's really up to you how you do your wedding, and up to everyone else to support you in it. It's not easy when family members start moaning, and there may be times when it's worth doing things a certain way to keep them happy. However it's your day, and important that it is the way you and your OH want it. You may need to be prepared to stand your ground if something matters to you.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

    • Velcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
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    just tell them to get stuffed if they start

    best thing to do is to do what YOU want, you can never keep everyone happy, there is always someone griping, so don't make yourselves the ones unhappy

    nothing we did was right when it came to my inlaws, so we just thought stuff it and did what we wanted, there are a few minor things i wish id done differently instead of stressing over them, but im glad it wasnt any of the 'big stuff'. mil kept harping on about 'traditional this/that, guests will expect X Y or Z, etc' 'why are you bothering having a traditional wedding dress if you are not having a traditional wedding' and much much more, but we just grit our teeth and got on with it or otherwise we would have had the wedding SHE wanted.

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    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
    • Flossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
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    First thing's first... don't try and please ANYONE but yourselves. It's your special day and you don't want to dampen the wedding planning process and the wedding itself by trying too hard to keep everyone happy. It's impossible to keep everyone happy anyway so I think you'd be fighting a losing battle! Concentrate on your own happiness and if people can't find it within themselves to share your happiness then that's their problem that they need to address xx

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    • Becci93
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
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    My mum was constantly trying to tell me how to organise things and what to do and it was driving me nuts.

    After a quick snap at her telling her it's oh and my day and that's what we wanted she has calmed down somewhat

    Members signature icon
    Met 23rd September 2009
    Engaged 10th March 2015
    Became Mrs Butler 24th September 2016
    • KirstyR386
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
    Everyone always says "it was the happiest day of our lives". Precisely. The happiest day of YOUR lives, not anyone elses. Do what makes you and your OH happy and everyone else will have to be grown up enough to accept its your day for you to make the decisions on.

    By all means take their ideas into account and keep them feeling included but if you don't want to do something a particular way, it will only make you miserable. X
    • MichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Nov 27th 2015
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    Agree with all the others it is both your special day so do what you two want

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    • NikkiE58
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Nov 28th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Ahh, my mum was a little bit similar with the dress situation, she is quite a sensitive individual, and wanted it to just be us two when we went together. So I arranged numerous trips to go dress hunting in different areas with certain people! So I took my mum to two (luckily I found 'the one' when I was with her), my FMIL and FSIL to another, my maid of honour and friend to one, a BM to one, and two of my other BM's to another! I'm actually really glad that I did it that way, as I felt quite vulnerable whilst trying on dresses at first, so I was glad there was only two people max, and it made it fun that some people had seen some things I tried, but no one but my mum saw my actual dress!
    I would say to you to try and not get too stressed about including everyone in everything, most people understand that you would like other people to enjoy the experience with you, and if they want to be the 'only one' to go with you or to help, then that's a bit selfish of them, and they're putting they're own feelings first. I've delegated certain tasks to different people, so they all feel involved in their own special way, and they can micro manage that task if they want, keeps them out of meddling with the other bits! Xx
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