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  1.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    Myself and fiance have just booked our wedding for 2017, giving us plenty of time to sort out our finances and to plan exactly what we want on the big day. I am just wondering, how common is it for family members, such as mother and father of the bride/groom to contribute to the cost of the wedding. Has many people had this happen for their wedding or is this a tradition that is best left alone? Many thanks!
  2.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    Hi and congrats on booking your wedding :)

    Me and H2B expected to foot the bill for the cost of the wedding but as time has gone on my dad have mentioned they wanted to pay for certain stuff which is lovely and we never expected it . My MOH recently got engaged and like me never expected any parent money help but then found out from her sis that her parents were upset they had not been asked , due to this I got H2B to ask his parents by explaining what happened to MOH and whether they wanted to pay for anything but at same time not expecting it , they said they were going to but wasn't sure when we would need it .

    I would ask as budgeting is something hard to keep in check especially if you find out others want to help :)

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
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    Engaged 6th July 2013
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  3.  
    • MrsCross2be
      CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    When we got engaged we didnt expect parent help (march 2012) and were planning for a summer 2016 wedding. My parents wanted to be traditional and are paying for reception and my dress, H2B parents are paying for photographer, DJ and Magician- this meant we could get married 2014. We are paying the rest for invites, favours, decorations, cars, church fees etc
  4.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    Both sets of parents have contributed to our wedding, and between them have covered most of it. It really depends on circumstances; what you can afford and what they can afford.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  5.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    We booked our wedding 18 months in advance as we were expecting to pay for it all, but since then my mum has said she is giving us 2k (for our honeymoon) & my dad has offered to pay for the food & cake. H2B then told his parents that as my parents are putting money in they also have too, I went mad at him!! I find it VERY rude to expect/ask for a contribution towards your wedding, especially when his parents are really struggling with finances at the moment.
  6.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 23rd 2014
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    We are paying the bulk ourselves but my mum and h2bs parents have offered to pay for various aspects. My mum is covering my dress and accessories/hair/make up, bridesmaids dresses, hair and makeup, favours and centrepieces. H2b's parents are covering the string quartet, photographer and accommodation for a few key people. Actually written down that does seem a lot! We are extremely grateful of course :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  7.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 24th 2014
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    Hi and congratulations on setting a date! :)

    We originally budgeted without factoring in any help from anyone else and knew we would be able to save enough in 2 years in order to pay for everything.. I did, however, have a sneaky suspicion in the back of mind that our parents would want to contribute.

    Since booking the venue, my dad has said he will arrange the photographer (he is a photographer himself so has good contacts), mum has said she will pay for my dress and between them they have agreed they are happy to foot the bill for the venue itself, so the wedding breakfast, evening buffet, drinks (we have already paid a £1k deposit).

    OH's mum has said she will buy his suit etc. and his dad has recently said he would love to contribute whatever he can but is unsure atm. Feeling overwhelmed by the support we are being given - although I was confident that we could do it on our own, it sure has lifted a big burden from our shoulders and means we won't have to worry about saving as much anymore, although we are still going to try and save as much as we possibly can and pay for anything that we can.

    xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
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  8.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 24th 2014
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    Hi, congratulations on your wedding :)

    My OH and I are paying for our wedding on our own, my parents aren't in my life and if his parents offered we would rather it be a gift donation to honeymoon however this isnt a discussion which has come up.

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    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  9.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 24th 2014
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    We started organising with us to pay for everything ourselves, my mum and dad however told me that they would be paying for the venue - wedding itself, breakfast and reception - didnt give us any choice they paid for my sisters first wedding and vowed they would do the same for me. H2b mum wants to pay for photographer, sweet table and band - cake is a wedding present from my friend and then we'll be paying for the rest.

    I dont think people 'expect' it to be paid for by their parents anymore - but you would usually know by the sort of relationship you have with them if you think they will pay for anything.

    Congrats on the enagagement!!! xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  10.  
    • Linzi-jo
      CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 24th 2014
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    My mum and dad said from the start that they would contribute to the wedding but they gave much more than we expected! We were then saving for the rest and h2b's parents also offered to help (mainly because the majority of guests are their family and they wanted a Greek band which is over £1000 on its own and we couldn't afford it!) but we have still put £4000 towards it ourselves :) xxx

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    Got together 14.02.2008
    Got engaged 31.12.2010
    Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
  11.  
    • leasa
      CommentAuthorleasa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 24th 2014
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    My dad is paying half, and my sister paid for the photographer as a wedding gift.

    We didn't expect it but it has helped, not all families do this. I suppose it depends on if they have the money or not.
    10 years ago when I first met my oh I know my parents couldn't afford it.
    Although if we'd have done it back then, the wedding would have been less extravagant, but my mum would have been there, (she passed away 8 years ago) so I know which of the two I'd prefer. And it's not the extravagance that's important in the end.

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    Met 30th May 2005
    Proposed in Monte Carlo August 25th 2013
    Became Mrs K on 30th May 2015
    Married my Gorgeous Greek God
  12.  
    • SaraLiz
      CommentAuthorSaraLiz
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 31st 2014
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    We booked our wedding last October, expecting to foot the bill ourselves, so we worked out what we can save and budgeted for that. However my dad is paying for my photographer, and my mum is paying for my dress, shoes and tiara :) my granddad also came a few months back and gave me a cheque for £1000 which we decided to put towards the wedding and will be a massive help! It just takes a little pressure off the saving and if some weeks we can put away as much as we thought, its not the end of the world xxx
  13.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 31st 2014
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    My parents are paying for the reception. H2B's parents haven't offered to contribute towards anything so we are paying for everything else xx

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    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  14.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
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    Hi everyone, thanks for replying and for your advice! I don't like asking people for money, never have and never will and so it would be a hard topic for me to bring up to our parents. When I told my h2b parents that we had booked a venue, the date etc. his mum immediately said without me asking that they would give us a little bit towards it, which I find really kind and helpful. I haven't brought up the cost with my parents as my mum was never fond of the idea of us having a big wedding. I always thought it was because she got married in a registry office through her own choice, which she has constantly tried to push on me. However, when I showed her the venue which we have booked (Middleton Lodge in Richmond) she never said anything negative, which I was really glad about. I know my parents aren't in the perfect situation, money wise, at the moment as they have struggled for years and are also planning on selling up and moving into a bungalow. I wouldn't know what to say, or how to express it if we were to ask my parents for financial help. Especially as I am extra worried about it in case my mum gets on my case again about the cost of it. My nana also mentioned, in private, that she would be giving myself and my h2b a cash amount at Christmas to which is specifically for us to put into our wedding fund. We have worked out that in the next two years we need to save up £25 each a week (which I think is manageable) to cover the costs of the wedding. On the other hand, my h2b has also said to me today about or daughter going to school in the next 2 years and that, as she is deaf and may need to go to a specialist school, he wants to move house so that we will be closer to her school when she does eventually go. This means that we now have to save up double what we had originally planned, which means we may need to have a little extra help at some point with the wedding. I just hate bringing up the topic of money and my h2b is the same.
  15.  
    • CarrieD26
      CommentAuthorCarrieD26
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 6th 2014
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    We have budgeted and planned everything fully expecting to pay for it ourselves.

    I don't expect anyone to input a penny and certainly wouldn't dream of asking, whatever their financial situation

    h2b's dad offered to pay for the dj the other day, which is obviously lovely for us! We will be surprised and thankful for any donations though, of course!!
  16.  
    • GemmaB596
      CommentAuthorGemmaB596
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 6th 2014
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    Our families are helping us out with the wedding: my parents, my sister & her hubby, my aunt & uncle and my other half's parents have all offered to pay for something so far, but we would never have asked or expected it from them. We started planning and booking according to our own budget and what we thought we could afford, before our families offered anything. Money is something I don't like discussing anyway, and I certainly wouldn't want to ask for money and perhaps make somebody else feel embarrassed or pressured to pay something they either can't afford or don't want to spend.
  17.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Oct 6th 2014
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    Tradition is something people stick to if they want to and can afford it.

    Traditionally in the English tradition the brides family pays for everything. In the Chinese tradition the grooms family pay for everything including paying a dowry to the brides parents which is likely to be a lot of money and also pay for as many guests as the brides family demands.

    Given I'm Chinese and hubby is English we decided that we wouldn't expect anything from either family however luckily both my parents and his dad gave us equal amounts towards our wedding.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  18.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Oct 6th 2014
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    Id go in with "we r payin it sll ourself" and if they shout up and say wr want to help n give u this etc then great!!

    Tradition is if u live at home with your parents they pay. If u already live with h2b as most do parents dont pay. But most like to chip in i think lol

    we always said my parents wudnt be paying id never expect them to. But my dad offered 250 for my dress to pay church limo and mam is givin me 100 towards food and bits here and there when she has a spare tenner she ssys here put tjat away for whatever u want
  19.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Oct 7th 2014
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    H2b's parents have said they would give us a little towards it which is lovely. I don't expect anything at all from anyone and the budget we have set is what we think we can afford from savings from now until the day. I just wasn't sure what other peoples views on this were. I would never ask as I have never liked borrowing money, not even from h2b although I am happy to give it! What we are doing though is getting help from family to make the decorations ourselves as I am hoping it will save money and it is something more personal. My mum thinks that we are going a bit over the top with the wedding as she never had a big wedding but we are but it is our wedding and we are doing it how we want. My dad on the other hand loves our venue, my mum couldn't stop picking at their choice in decor and bathroom suites but she always has something to complain about anything! X
  20.  
    • Irishbride2be
      CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Oct 7th 2014
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    I'm really lucky that my parents have offered to pay for the whole day and I'm really grateful but i wouldn't of expected it, me and the OH were fully prepared to save/raid the savings xx

    Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
    Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
    Getting married 12 september 2015
    Marrying my forever best friend :-)
  21.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Oct 8th 2014
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    Me and my h2b are the same. That is why our wedding day isn't until 2017 because we have opted for quite a big day so we need the time to save up for it. FMIL has offered to help a little, which we a extremely grateful about but not sure what she wants to do in regards to it, but for now we are just going about things as we usually would and then if she steps in and says I want to do this then it is her choice x
  22.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 8th 2014
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    We didn't ask for any help, or assumed we would get any, but my Mum gave us £1k and my in-laws gave us about £3k, we paid the rest (about £10k more)
 
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