FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Family! Argh....

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hiyah,

    I'm so stuck trying to figure out who to or not to invite and everytime I sort it my mum sticks her nose in and ruins it.
    Basically mum and dad are recently divorced so mum didn't want any of dads family invited. I explained this was unfair and left it at that, since we can't afford to invite everyone we decided aunts and uncles in day time and everyone else in the evening. Also one of my nieces has basically gone off the rails, my sister kicked her out (she's 19) so she went and stayed with another sister but shaved her hair off and ran away to stay with my nan and then my cousin and since then she's been back and forth between a cousin and a mental hospital because she keeps getting drunk, overdosing and no one can keep tabs on her. I really don't want her at my wedding because she will get drunk and create a scene. But mum says I have to because she's my niece and all my other nieces and nephews are invited in the day. I explained I don't mind her coming in the evening provided she's with my cousin and they keep tabs on her, but my mum has gone around to everyone in my family saying she's not invited, almost all of them have kicked off at me and said there not going and the rest of my aunties and uncles have kicked off because my cousins are not invited in the day. I'm trying to keep it as less dramatic as I can as I have 2 small children so don't need the drama.
    To top it all of now my mum doesn't think my dad should go because we haven't invited my partners real dad, he walked out on him from a young age so my partner no longer wants to know him. And Iv tried to tell her that's my partners problem not mine or hers and she's having none of it.
    I'm at my wits end and feel like giving up on everything.
    Bloody family! Haha sorry rant over
    Xxx

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
  2.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It's your day not anyone else's so YOU invite who you want. No one can tell you who should or shouldn't be at your wedding x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  3.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    we only had cousins in the evening ..... place just wasnt big enough to have everyone to the day

  4.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Thanks guys, the problem is I'm used to being the laid back one who does what I'm
    Told, h2b is going to ring around my family. Its just so expensive and we're already over budget without making all cousins daytime and even h2b doesn't want my niece to make a fool infront of his family. Xx

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
  5.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      BadgeBadge
     
    Have you booked anything?
    If not I would be tempted to book a nice holiday & get married whilst away :)
  6.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    dont forget its your day, no one else should be telling you who you can and cant invite, they gonna pay for it are they? no! didnt think so, dont let them treat you like it xx hugs xx
  7.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Okay. Firstly, unless your mum is paying for most/all the wedding she does not get to dictate who you can or cannot invite at all and going around family members stating your plans is also unfair. You have the right to invite who you want there on YOUR day.

    Secondly, your family need to understand that they are getting the privilige of being invited to your day and so if they want to be

    My sister and brother tried pressuring me to invite our dad and have him walk me down the aisle. He and I haven't spoken in over 5 and a half years and due to my mother walking out of our lives when I was a teen obviously she won't be there so I will essentially have no parents on the day. This does make me sad sometimes however I refuse to have my dad there simply to fill a role.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  8.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We did look at going abroad however my h2bs family wanted to be there hence having it at home. And my mum was going to pay a proportion of the wedding but on our last phone call I basically said we don't need her help as I'd rather be able to do what I want and that's horrible Victoria I hope it all works out for you xx

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
  9.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It will. I have my best friend walking me down the aisle who is more like a sister to me. My friends are essentially my family the the OHs family have never treated me any different than him so I will have who I need there. What I don't need and you don't need is people being negative over unrelated issues on the day they should be happy for you.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  10.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 28th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Bless you that sounds lovely! Especially your in laws. I think half the time people just like an excuse for a winge. I'm lucky to have my little sister she has more sense than most people. Xx

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
  11.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    That sounds awful. You and your h2b should have who you want there. I would sit down together and make the list of who you genuinely want there and then send out the invites without any further discussion with other people. If they turn round and say they are not coming because so and so is (or isn't) then that is their choice and they will have lost out on seeing your wonderful day. X
  12.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I know you said you're the laid back one, but this will only get sorted if you are strong and assertive, don't put up with your Mum being controlling if you don't want her to. Be strong, it's your day. If she wants to sulk over it, she may do, but people do that (it happened to me), but the emotional blackmail soon wears off when they realise it has no effect. You may be lucky, and she may just back down, but my Mum went moody for a bit, but soon realised she needed to fall in line with OUR plans. Within hours of us getting engaged, my Mum was nagging me about who was coming, and kept on going on about my Dad. I had only got engaged, not even considered a date, venue or anything. I knew at that point I needed to nip her controlling comments in the bud, or it was going to spoil my 2 years of planning.
  13.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Thanks guys, I feel a lot better today, my oh rang her last night and basically said if she carries on she won't be invited. Which i think is the problem because she's not invited to my sisters wedding this year for the same reason. Also my sister told me to ring around everyone this morning, which I have done and no one knows anything about my wedding as they haven't seen my mum! So think I'm gonna have to keep her at arms length with a pinch of salt. And Clairenina that happened to me too, we put off booking for over a year because she kept going on.

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
  14.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Goodness me she sounds like a nightmare.

    Stick to your plans, have who you want there and your mum needs to learn its your wedding not hers.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  15.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      BadgeBadge
     
    You have to go with what you want it is your day after all. I couldn't afford to invite all cousins to the day because that then includes sheer partners and children. I have however said that I can pay for my cousins but if there partners and children want to go they will have to pay for themselves. They have all taken it really well to which is good.
  16.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    god she sounds like a nightmare! good to know you havent stewed on it and actually rang round to find that your mum is the sole source of the drama, that must be a weight off :)

    Ive been put off weddings for life lol, never ever again after the drama we had with ours and his mental mother and sister lol

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  17.  
    • MrsMaherToBe
      CommentAuthorMrsMaherToBe
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 1st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Cheers everyone, I am more determined now just to do what I want. Family's are just mad! Bless you Velcro, there's always someone. Luckily my in laws are fine, it's just my family! Haha xx

    Members signature icon
    2009 met my boy.
    2011 had our baby girl.
    2013 had our baby boy.
    2016 we'll live happily ever after.
 
Enter Now