I have quite a large family so we've budgeted and have only invited immediate family to the day time and the majority (well the remainder) to the evening do. Invites went out 2 weeks ago and my mum gets a message from 2 of the families within our family (12 in total) "Sorry we all can't make Nicola's wedding, we are going on holiday then" Now bear in mind that my auntys wedding was only just in november where everyone in the family were all talkin about my wedding etc, they received the save the dates over 6 months ago so they all knew the date!! And now they cant come! Trouble is they are like key members of the family and if they dont go to an event the rest wont! So needless to say I am soooooooooo gutted!
Next issue is money..... we have spent WAAAAAY over our budget on our wedding and its costing us a fortune. My inlaws however see this as prime opportunity to tell us we should be putting a coach on for their side of the family (another £200), and we should also pay for 3 x rooms on the night of the wedding or else my h2b wont have any of his family staying at the wedding as none can afford it! Now these are people that have spent £2000 on a holiday abroad which they go for in march, spend umteem amounts of money on h2bs sister & her kids constantly yet they wont folk out £45pp to stay at their son/grandsons wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just getting so down about it and tbh the planning of the wedding isnt fun anymore!
I made a mistake with the invites, didn't put enough postage on there.... so about 50% of the guests have had to pay £1.09 to receive their invite. This was a genuine error on my part which I have held my hands up too and offered to pay anyone who wants that money back. H2bs mum thought it was the perfect opportunity to list another million things ive done wrong within planning the wedding.
So im feeling pretty down to be honest.
can't seem to do anything right, getting grief left right n centre, and im pretty sure all of my family aren't going to come to my wedding :(
xxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMarrying.Ryan
Oh no, Nicola, I am so sorry everyone is giving you a hard time. I think it sucks, that your family said they aren't coming, because they are going on holiday. Can you ask why they booked the holiday when they knew you were getting married then? What is the point in sending safe the dates? Is it because they aren't invited to the day? Just ignore your fMIL. Dont fork out any more than you already have. They will come to the wedding, if they want to stay the night, then fine, if they want to arrange transport to get home, that's also fine. That isnt shomething that you should be worried about. Can you talk to H2B about how you're feeling? Maybe he can do some things for you and especially have a word with his Mum to but out!
CommentAuthorShowgirl
I'm so sorry to hear this, I'd be feeling gutted as well. I'd be telling you FMIL that if she's so sure everything is wrong then she's welcome to fork out herself and do it her way, otherwise its your wedding and the two of you will be doing it your way and (mostly) within your means. So what if they won't be staying over? You guys have a bed for the night and that's the main thing. We've put down a deposit for some rooms at the venue so they don't get booked up, but we're not actually going to pay for anyones rooms - if people want to stay over they can sort out accomodation themselves or spend the night in their own beds at home, which my parents are currently considering doing as they don't drink and have friends from abroad coming to stay with them the following day. It sounds like your family had ample opportunity to actually save the date unless they just forgot what the date was. They will regret it if they don't come but its not something that can be helped. It may be an opportunity to save some pennies and have a really intimate wedding or you could bump up some of the evening guests. Hope things start looking up for you soon.
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
I personally think they are lying about the hol thing as I was only talking to my cousin last week and she was really excited about getting the invitation, and didnt mention a holiday. I think it might be the night time situation.
Yeah h2b knows she gives me a hard time, hes spoken to her a million times about it but it just goes in one ear and out the other as a couple of days later shes back to doing it again so its a waste of time. I'm trying to ignore it but when its constant its just grinding me down.
To be honest im just about ready to burst into tears. I'm sick of it all.
Mil2b told me today that her sisters are coming to the wedding but to expect massive rows as theyre not speaking at the moment. What bride needs to hear that there may be rows at her wedding?
Then this afternoon she pointed out that I shouldnt have invited one of my friends to the day time as that may be why my family arent coming as they should of been prioritised..... my "friend" thats coming to the day time has been my mate forever and shes coming along, 1 person does not cost the same as 48 people (the total of my family) but that was another thing id apparently done wrong.
TBH my list could go on and on x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorShowgirl
She sounds a bit like my Mum to be honest. Just smile and start doing what she's doing - letting it all go in one ear and out the other. know its harder to do when you're the one being critisised. Perhaps stop involving her in any of the wedding plans - as in just don't discuss any of it in her presence and if she asks what's happening with a certain thing you can just say 'its been sorted and everything is coming together nicely thanks' and then change the subject. Its frustrating now but on the day she'll shut up and just enjoy it all. I had thought the family that are 'going on holiday' were also invited to the day, sorry I must have mis-read your post. I honestly wouldn't be too bothered about the evening. Yes, it would be lovely if they were there but ultimately you're still going to be married to the love of your life in front of your immediate nearest and dearest. If the holiday really is a lie then I think they'll come around and come to the reception.
Thanks Showgirl, ur right it is hard. Even harder when u work with them too! Cause the criticm is constant! I guess ur right, my main family and friends are the ones that are coming to the day time :) Its just upsetting to think that they go to every do for every family member bar me for some reason. They dont come to my bday parties, they didnt come to engagement, they didnt come and support me when I was an olympic torchbearer and now this... I guess i shouldnt have been suprised really! x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Easier said then done, but just ignore all the negativity. People can be so selfish, just get on with it carry on doing whats right for your wedding, don't spend money you don't have on things that other people expect you to have but you might not want. It will all work out in the end.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It's horrible to think that they are treating other members of the family differently to you, but maybe they don't deserve to be counted among your wedding guests. Fill their spaces with people who you know really love you.
You were an olympic torchbearer? Wow!
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
Awww Hun just think do you really want those people at your wedding anyway if they'd rather be somewhere else? Chin up xx
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I've learnt in the last year to just be like with my FMIL " well its our wedding , well do it our way, and if it goes wrong then its on us" And as fo a friend inplace of 45 family, i mean, we have 13 friends coming and , have not invited 2 of my cousins as they are total pain in the asses, and shit stirrers, so I refuse to invite them in the day.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
