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  1.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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      edited
     
    I am thinking of asking my younger cousin to be a bridesmaid. I wanted to ask her originally but I didn't as I have another cousin on my mum's side that wouldn't really want to have, but felt like if I asked one I would have to ask the other.
    Anyway, the cousin on my mum's side is now engaged and has asked one of her cousins to be BM, not me or my sister. I am older than her so I understand she may not want me as BM and we are not close, we probably see each other about twice a year. So now I feel a bit silly for thinking I couldn't have one without the other but I still kind of feel like that and feel like I will upset her and my mum's family if I don't ask! Should I just risk it and ask 1 cousin to be a BM or leave it at the 3? We are on a budget but I got the dresses for £27 each so they aren't too expensive, I am asking them to buy their own shoes and I'm pretty sure her mum (my auntie and godmother) will chip in for make up etc, if needed.

    I spoke to my MOH about this and she said maybe wait until about 6 months before to see how I feel and if I would still really like her to be one then ask her, but I feel like I should do it sooner rather than leave it and make it look like she was an afterthought! x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    If you wanted to ask her originally then I would ask her! Don't worry about the other cousin.. you shouldn't feel bad at all, she hasn't asked you to be bridesmaid for her so she shouldn't be expecting to be one for you! It's not going to put you out too much financially either so it's not like you need to worry about the added costs.

    Plus if you have 4 bridesmaids you will have a nice even number for the photos ;) x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    I'm one of those people that has to try and please everyone all the time and I hate it haha!

    I'll speak to OH about it again as he agreed I couldn't really have one without the other but he might feel differently now! I am seeing the one I don't want at the end of the month so I might talk weddings with her and see if she is expecting to be asked! Although I think she would if she finds out the other one was! x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  4.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I also agree that if you were going to have her in the beginning then I would ask her, only problem with leaving it till 6 months before is if you can still get the dresses or not? If thats not going to be a problem as OH and see his imput maybe? Dont worry about everyone else do what makes you happy :) xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  5.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    I you want her have her, im having one of my cousins (MOH) and her daughter, but not having any of my other cousins , as we are not as close, 2 of my cousins are only invited for the evening.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  6.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    The thing is my family is so small that I only have 3 cousins in total, 2 girls and a boy so that's why I think it would be an issue. OH said I should have her if I wanted but when I mentioned the other one he agreed I couldn't have one without the other. I think now she has chosen her BM's he may feel differently though. Yeah hadn't thought about getting the dresses, I presume I could as I just ordered them off the bay but not 100% they will still have them x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  7.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    But then on the flip side, why should the cousin you want to ask have to miss out just because you don't want to ask the other one? I don't see why the one getting married would have a problem with it when she hasn't asked you to be her bridesmaid either.. fair is fair x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  8.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    True! I will think about it and speak to OH and maybe ask her next time I see her :) if it upsets the other one tough, she knows I'm closer to this one and like you said, I'm not her's and I bet she hasn't given it as much thought as I have lol! x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  9.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    Exactly! Be selfish for once.. you're allowed, its YOUR wedding day

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  10.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
      Posted: Mar 17th 2015
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    I'm getting my bridesmaid dresses from [email protected] & the seller has advised me to order them all at the same time so they get cut from the same fabric batch, otherwise she couldn't guarantee they would match. I suppose it's the same as when you buy wallpaper they have to all be from the same batch otherwise you get different shades.
 
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