Wedding Forum - Excluding Family...

Long story short, my sister is a manipulative, scheming, sociopath.

We never got along when we were little, she tried to strangle me with a phone cord(15), held a knife to my throat to get my to do the dishes(6) she didn't want to and broke my finger to get me off the computer when she wanted on(13). number in brackets is age I was and she's 4 years older than me.

I now have mental health issues i've been dealing with for over a decade. If other people make it apparent she's crossed the line she puts on this upset act and goes on about how it was a joke/she didn't mean it/other person being too sensitive or just flat out denies it which is why nothing happened from the things she did to me.

We lived together for 8 months (long story, I have a problem saying no) things weren't great but I felt like things had gotten better however since i moved out we've not spoken. Sorry for so much back story but I just wanted to make it clear whats gone on to reach this point.

My fiance and I were living with her when we got engaged and her reaction was "okay, see you later" that was it. I asked her to be the photographer and I would give her £200 as she didn't want to be part of the bridal party and she's done a few wedding photo jobs as favours for people.

I've been nervous and upset whenever i think of her being at my wedding but i've kept it quiet as it would devastate my mum if she wasn't there and my grandparents would never let me forget that I "broke up the family on a special occasion". Today I messaged her as she's away on holiday and i got a text saying roaming data 80% used (we're on the same contract package thing) I was trying to offer a branch and all I got back was a snarky bitchy response about how she was aware of it. didn't thank me just made me feel like poo. As it was a public message on FB my mum commented saying "do you two never stop snarking at each other, even on FB" and her reply was not my fault she can't take a straight answer' i'm going now to try and enjoy the rest of my holiday away from you people.

I just feel that if she has to get away from us and can't be civil over a stupid message trying to be helpful then she's not going to be civil or helpful at the wedding. I don't know what to do I've been crying all afternoon' I'm dreading her being there and ruining the day and atmosphere as I'll be on edge waiting for her make some bitchy comment and as photographer she knows she can order me around and potentially cause an exciting fun part of the wedding to be totally stressful.

Sorry it's so long

I'm really tempted to say that it's your day and you should be surrounded by people that love you and make you feel good about yourself. Other people's comments about breaking up the family etc don't help - if you can't forget about the issues with your sister for your big day then you won't be able to enjoy yourself, which is the main point of the day. But I do get that you may not be able to exclude her from your day altogether. I agree you should not have her as photographer though!

Dont forget that you should be enjoying the run up to your big day, as well as the day itself. I know its easy to say this as an outsider, but I think you should reconsider having your sister as a photographer, let alone being there at all. x

Make sure you have someone who you trust ready to rescue you from her if she pesters you. All they need to do is say that you're needed by someone.