Why do people not rsvp? a text, phonecall etc would be okay but just let me know that you're coming! lol Ive just found out through the grapevine that one family that we invited that hasn't RSVPd has booked a holiday cottage near us to attend but the thing is, i don't know this, i didn't know that they had even considered the wedding because i hadn't heard anything, we've already been through the table planning etc because we have most of our responses but there are a few here and there that just haven't responded at all, the venue wanted it all in advance to get things in place. There is only 110 days until our wedding and things are finally falling into place, as a gift to us, H2B mother and my parents have said they will pay for our church, reception, cars, flowers and photography... they're also sorting out our cake and helping us with the favours, all we have to do is the suits, dresses and rings - i have my dress, and a couple of days ago our rings turned up which I'm mega excited about, they look amazing, the suits have been ordered, they just need to be paid for in a few weeks. I don't want to get to the wedding reception to find that i haven't accommodated everyone i invited but my OH says that it wouldn't be our fault, how would we know that they were coming, were not mind readers right! Im getting so excited but getting so nervous too, we've even done our christmas shopping now because our wedding is so close that we won't be able to to focus on christmas with the wedding a week and a half before.
has anyone else had the same problem with the RSVPs and what advice would you have? should i contact everyone that has been invited that hasn't responded and ask for their response??
Thanks! (One very stressed out, excited and nervy soon to be bride ever) xx
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
That's the one thing that I hi I I will stress about- I know friends and family are very laid back so expect that some won't reply until very last minute- I suppose if you give them a date to get back to you by and then if they don't respond you can only presume they aren't coming and if they do turn up its not your fault :-)
I've decided I'm not gong to stress and just try and enjoy the whole process- I prob won't be saying that 3 months before tho lol xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
We had a few who we had to chase and one that we just never heard back from so needless to say she is no longer my friend.
Some people just forget or don't feel the need to RSVP on time or they leave it right to the last minute. When is your deadline? Ours was around 8 weeks before the big day giving us 2 weeks before venue needed final numbers 6 weeks before to chase stragglers.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMrs Jones
I'd chase the stragglers and if they still don't respond, I wouldn't bother trying to accommodate them. If they do turn up, but you've chased and given them the opportunity to reply, your OH is right, it wouldn't be your fault at all. They'd have to go eat elsewhere and come back later for the evening part.
I know how you feel - we sent out RSVPs with our save the dates and gave a response date. Those who haven't responded by our date, won't be sent a formal invitation. One of the people not to respond is my brother and I personally hand delivered to him!
First Date 26 April 2014
Proposed 27 June 2015
Happily Married 18 June 2016
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Definitely chase them. If they still don't respond then if they show up and you haven't accomodated for them, it is Them that will look daft and not you. I think it's really rude not to rsvp, especially to an event as big as a wedding. Its not like its just drinks down the pub. But remember at the same time people have lives and your wedding might not be their priority right now. A quick message once the deadline has passed to ask if they are coming should get a reply.
We've just posted our invites so I'm desperate to start getting replies. I saw a great e-card the other day that I might post a week before our deadline in the hope of mopping up stragglers. It says something like "if you don't rsvp, you won't get a seat... Or a meal.... Or a piece of cake... See where this is going..." x
I asked everyone to respond by august 19th, because we just spent a few days camping with OH's family as a last little get away before the wedding because 3 months really isn't that long if you think about it and our venue is a tiny village mill that is one of our local places to go but the lady who owns it wants to make sure she is able to accommodate everyone.
I have had some beautiful responses from family who are unable to come, its sad they can't come but they have sent lovely presents and thank you's, i was just glad they let me know!
I wanted to send a little card out as a reminder of the invites and if i don't get a response within two weeks of those then those people won't be accounted for. I don't mind if people cannot make it, but as some others have said... if they do turn up, they would have to go elsewhere until the reception starts which we have separate invites for.
I really don't want to stress about this, I'm sure it'll all go away and i can just be excited lol xxx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
In that case just ring round those who haven't responded. People might have been busy with it being holiday season or just genuinely forgotten, or its lost in the post x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Fortunately we gave a much earlier rsvp date than was needed so we had time to chase people, but yep, very annoying.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
Oh I feel bad because I am ashamed to say I am one of those people who brides end up chasing :\
It usually takes me a while to ensure I can get the time off work (used to work every Saturday) and then I kinda keep meaning to RSVP and never seem to get to it in time D: Feel bad but at the same time won't mind chasing up a few peeps myself now it's my turn rofl
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
I would just ring those that haven't rsvp or message them and say we need to know by xx date! I am not looking forward to the rsvp as ppl like oh sisters ect won't think to as just think we'll know they are coming even though they have to give us menu options! But chase up sooner rather than later and get it out the way then sit back and enjoy x
CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
I just remembered my cousin had to chase my dad (her uncle) because he thought he'd RSVP'd by e-mail but he's a bit of a dinosaur and typed the wrong address! So sometimes it can just be miscommunication and does no harm to send a text or Book o'face message.
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It's very frustrating. We did a lot of chasing. Sometimes people assume that there is no real need to RSVP as you know they're going, some think they have when they haven't, some genuinely don't know if they can make it and it doesn't occur to them to tell you that they might have to let you know quite close to the date.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorEmily17
Becca, are any of them ill. I know in my family my one uncle struggles with his health and so don't know if they can travel until a couple of days before which is difficult when it comes to planning a wedding as may need to change things around the day before etc. but it needs to be considered.
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorInDreamland
This does remind me actually I need to get back to my cousin! Oops!
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBecca
emilyv17 - none are ill :) i have chased a few up last night and this evening and some have said that they genuinely forgot or they are waiting for confirmation that they can have it off work. We have been contacted by the two very elderly couples in our family to let us know that as far as they know they are coming, but we have to wait until december for the confirmation because with us living so far at the end of the UK and them living very far up country, weather can get in the way - we've considered a lot, weather, illnesses, change of circumstances etc, we just wanted a little message to say that they even received their invite :) InDreamLand - Admittedly i was a week or two late with giving my cousin her RSVP because my job has been up in the air but I'm sure she was okay about it, she's getting married this weekend.
TBH my own half brother hasn't even RSVP'd... I've asked him SO many times if he's coming and if he's bringing anyone but i get no response lol I'm sure it'll work out in the end, i ordered some "Remember us" cards to send to the ones that actually forgot about us xxx
CommentAuthorEmily17
At least you are starting to get reasons from people. I like the idea of the cards too :)
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
Haha love the remember us cards lol x
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
We had a few that didn't reply and I ended up chasing people. I got my MIL to chase husband's side of the family because they hadn't RSVP'd. One of my Cousins told me that she'd sent the RSVP to say that they weren't coming even though she blatantly hadn't!
It was the one thing that gave me a real headache!
