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  1.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We have a slight dilemma, it's a little lengthy so please bare with me!

    We are having a civil marriage in my hometown first (short and for the legalities) which will be followed by a blessing at our local cathedral (making this the main bit as it's more important).

    We originally thought that we'd invite just bridal party, parents and grandparents as we are making the blessing the significant bit but I'm kind of having second thoughts on that because I would quite like people to see the legal bit as obviously that's when would actually be 'married'. I would feel like they are missing out a bit but then my OH argues 'well that's what they do in a lot of European countries'. Our venue does have the capacity so we could have everyone just about but my OH isn't quite as keen as she thinks that because of the travelling backwards and forwards between venues, they would get annoyed or find it too far.

    Another thing is that, several people who live in my hometown obviously live there and are within walking distance to our venue so they could come and attend with ease but they are friends rather than family so although we'd love them there naturally, we wouldn't want to put anyone of our family's noses out of joint if they knew friends were there out of preference over family as it were! One of the friends today offered up her spare room and car share completely free for anyone that needs it which was so lovely which means it certainly wouldn't feel right her offering that and saying 'oh sorry, because you aren't family, you can't come to the civil ceremony'... Apart from anything else, we'd like her there anyway!

    I'd like to invite everyone to the civil ceremony but my OH has said why don't we leave it open ended and say 'those that wish to can attend the civil ceremony first, but this is not obligatory and we will see you at the blessing!'

    Could I have some thoughts on this please? Thanks :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  2.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you should of course invite close family and friends as you already planned, and leave it open so that your guests can chose to come to the main blessing, but also the legal marriage if they wish. That way theres no complicated decisions and people cant complain about distance or travelling if they've chosen to do so. Hope that helps? :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  3.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yes it has, thank you :) I guess I'd like everyone there but by having it as optional then at least they have the choice! I'm in two minds - I do want them but don't at the same time.. Wedding politics!! xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  4.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    THeres no set way! At lets be honest, your having a whole different wedding of your own, its going to be something different either way, so make your own politics lol!

    Irrelevant but there was a lesbian wedding in my town yesterday and I think it MIGHT have been the first one! There was a gay wedding (my uncles brother of all people) on the very first day it was legalised but that was first lesbian one I've heard of so far, how exciting! x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  5.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Awwww, that's so lovely and romantic this close to Christmas too! My opinion is that whether it's straight, lesbian, gay whatever I still look at the couple and think how wonderful it is to be that in love that you want to get married :) Apparently we may be the first marriage in our town too (I think there's been other CP's previously) which is so exciting! I think we may have to get the printer out and make a wee card to put in saying we are having a legal ceremony beforehand but down to you whether you attend so just let us know.... If they don't like it, they don't have to come really!! x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  6.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah, I think from my workplace I'm one of about 4 people that ISNT gay lol! Such a gay friendly place. Gay night is my favourite too! Sorry - going off track lol!

    I would just offer them the choice then you dont really have much to worry about! I think its very similar to the 'optional church wedding followed by reception but without the wedding breakfast'

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  7.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 21st 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hahaha, sounds like a great place! Majority of our friends are straight but we have our best friend/best man who is definitely NOT straight ;) I'm probably a traitor but I've never been to gay night or gay clubs but then I don't really define myself as gay so that's probably why lol.

    I think you are right - we'll spread the word that it's optional then they are under no pressure to go :) x

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  8.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's a good idea giving them the option but make it clear that you do need to know however long in advance otherwise they might just 'see how they feel on the day' and I'm guessing the venue will need to know final numbers xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  9.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yeah that's a very good point! Of course! X

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  10.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 22nd 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would give them the option and let them decide. x

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
 
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