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Wedding Forum - Don’t love my engagement ring :( Help!...

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    • YveL
      CommentAuthorYveL
      Getting married in 5 months
      Posted: Nov 15th 2019
      BadgeBadge
     
    Ok so as I write this I do feel bad but I also have to get this off my chest. I had the most amazing proposal in Italy in the summer, completely romantic but when he opened the box to propose the first thing I thought was “wow it’s small”. The whole night was amazing but I kept looking at how small the ring was and was trying to convince myself it wasn’t - the rest of the holiday was spent this way too.

    I’ve been trying so hard to fall in love with it since - he said he got me exactly what I wanted (a platinum round solitaire, brilliant cut 0.8ct) .... but it looks so small. I’m not a brat I promise - I’m a working class woman and he said he knew from previous conversations we had that he even tried to get me bigger and better than my friends’ rings as he wanted me to have a ring I’m proud of... But I just feel like it looks so small on my finger. I don’t feel it’s a ring I’m proud to show off and he keeps catching me staring at it... little does he know I’m trying to make myself love it. The setting is very low on my hand which I don’t think helps. We had a mini argument about it today and he told me he got me what I wanted, it’s a beautiful ring and it’s not being changed.... so now what? I’ve not said anything so far as I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I do have to live with this for the rest of my life. He told me himself when he got the ring (he chose the design and had it made), he himself thought it was very small.... I think for 0.8ct he too expected it to be a bit bigger. I know it wasn’t cheap, just under £5k and he’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met... but this is weighing on me big time.

    What do I do? I’m not shallow, though some of you may say I am based on this post... I just wanted to be in love with my engagement ring. I find myself constantly looking at other women’s rings.... even my friend’s who have smaller diamonds in weight looks much bigger?! It makes no sense.....

    Do I broach it again and seriously offend him and risk him telling me it won’t be changed or do I live with it? I’m hoping someone says something that changes the way I feel as three months later my feelings are still the same as the night he proposed....
  2.  
    • LauraN79
      CommentAuthorLauraN79
      Getting married in 3 months
      Posted: Jan 10th 2020
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    Carat simply means the weight of the diamond. Perhaps your diamond is deeper so doesn't look as big. Perhaps your friends' rings look bigger because they are cut in a way that makes them sparkle more. Or are set with additional diamonds around their central stone or on the band.

    I know this is probably a bit late but I don't think there is much you can do. You told him exactly what you thought you wanted and now he will likely lash out if you complain. He did everything right in his own mind. Why did you pick a 0.8 carat? Had you tried one on before?
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    • Itsjustkay86
      CommentAuthorItsjustkay86
      Got married 2 months ago
      Posted: Jan 13th 2020
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    When you get your wedding band, see if you can get a bridal set with a bigger stone? I am in love with my engagement ring. It is very unique. An antique passed down his family for years and its yellow gold with 3 opals and 4 diamonds set in it. Its worth around 3k but i couldn't find a wedding band to fit next to it as its quite big. So i've had to get a bridal set which means a brand new "engagement ring" but i'm not wearing that until we get married. Maybe you could do something similar?
 
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