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Wedding Forum - Don't know if we can pay for our wedding...

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  1.  
    • Nelinde
      CommentAuthorNelinde
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    So we've been planning our wedding since we got engaged back in July 2012! Originally we were getting married on 1st of March 2014 (Saints David's Day) but we had baby no3 born in October 2013 so we pushed it back to 12th of July 2014 (my birthday) to give us a little extra wiggle room with our budget, which the baby had eaten into.
    But unfortunately last June, after we'd already changed the date, my OH got laid off and he's been looking for work ever since with no luck :( In the mean time we've had no choice but to claim benefits or we would have lost the house and the car :(
    In light of these unfortunate circumstances we had to change the date again and push it back to the 27th June 2015, thinking this would give us an additional 18 months to get it all paid off! We couldn't just postpone it until further notice as we've already paid almost £3000 on venues, wedding dress and other deposits and we'd end up losing it all as they won't let us change dates again without incurring penalty cost's which we really can't afford :(
    But there's a little under a year left to the big day and unless our financial circumstances change I don't see how we are going to manage to get it all paid off in time :(
    There's roughly £4600 left to pay and I've already removed all that I can from the wedding to lower costs :(
    I've worked out that I would need to pay £100 per week to get everything paid off by a month before the wedding, most things are required to be paid by this time. But this is not achievable with our current income :(
    Can you lovely ladies and gents offer any advice of how we can get this paid off? I know im asking for a miracle, or at least a lottery win! But any advice would be greatly appreciated!
    I'm a SAHM with three children, currently pregnant with no4 (unplanned but not unwanted!) and my OH is trying everything to find a job, from cleaning toilets to factory work and everything inbetween! But we're stuck between a rock and a hard place as we need to work a minimum of 24 hrs to be eligible for working tax credits or we'd be on less than benefits and be worse off :( And I'm the only driver between us atm which is a little limiting.
    The center of jobs is beyond useless! Threatening to sanction at every corner they can get away with! Last sign on they changed his time to interfere with picking up the kids from school, and they knew this!, but I have to drive him to the center of jobs as we live in a village far from town so he can't walk and we can't afford the bus fare which is almost £10 as they don't offer to reimburse. In the end we had to drag the kids out of school 45 mins early to make sure he was there on time as I would have been very late picking them up! Their attitude to this predicament was "Well we're not forcing you to come and sign on...." WTAF?? They've done nothing to help him find a job and he can't get any new qualifications as he's then not available for work in the eyes of benefits, so he can't even better himself to open up his job search!

    I'm sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant aswell but hopefully you can see our predicament and understand why I'm so stressed out over funding this wedding :(

    One solution I've thought of is trying to get a loan from our local credit union as their interest is pretty low. But not even sure this would work being on benefits?
    Asking family to help isn't an option either :(

    Im just at a loss :/

    Thank you if you managed to read to the bottom <3

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    Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D


  2.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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      edited
     
    Oh dear Nelinde, it really sounds like it's just been one thing after another.

    I'd avoid loans as much as possible because in the end it's only going to get you worse off and very unhappy and this of course will just sour your wedding day for you.

    I understand you have said you're a SAHM but have you thought about maybe venturing into doing local childcare, though this may be awkward since you're now pregnant again, it would help to bring more money into the household. My FMIL did this after she had her second child and was a SAHM but she didn't like not working so she did this until my OH and his sister were in full time education and she did it from home.

    What does your OH do exactly?

    Best advice I could say for your OH is yes you're right the job place is not overly enthusiastic all the time about finding jobs for you. Knock on doors/shops/call centres/supermarkets, get registered on job sites and be prepared do something menial because if it's about saving for the wedding the job itself doesn't matter it's the end goal that is the issue.

    I think I sent out a few hundred CV's until after speaking to a friend they recommended me for an agency position at a call centre in my local area taking in complaints about squashed bananas... that was 8 yrs ago. I still work at the same place but now directly for the company and in a paralegal role.

    Never give up

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  3.  
    • TanyaS78
      CommentAuthorTanyaS78
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    Sounds like you've had an awful time in all this! My heart goes out to you and the family for coping with it all.

    I could suggest finding a night job (bar work etc) that you could do once the OH is home but it would all depend on how you would work around it while pregnant.

    The OH can try local newspapers for jobs, and just going into places and asking directly if there are any jobs going. Also, look at the job websites like Reed etc. Ive known of a few people have some luck from them. Its just being persistent and constantly checking for job updates.
  4.  
    • Nelinde
      CommentAuthorNelinde
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    Thank you for responding :)
    I would like to work with children one day :) but I don't have the necessary qualifications to be able to it, yet! I was supposed to be going to college this September to do my CACHE diploma in childcare and education level 3 but put it off til next year as it'll be too much with three children ages 9yrs,5yrs and 9 months all whilst pregnant til January and then a newborn on from there and I'd rather not set myself up for a fail. But it's only on hold and will be done when I can :)
    As for my OH his old job was a Clinic Coordinater for a hospital department and was quite well paid. But due to NHS cut backs he was laid off through no fault of his own :(
    He's got a degree in IT but it seems it's not worth the paper it's written on as there's no jobs out there in relation for it, we'll that he's getting interviews from anyways.
    He's doing all the things you mentioned with his cv and job sites etc and he's waiting to hear back from agencies. But it's silly as he got turned down for a cleaning job in a fast food chicken place because he was "over qualified"....
    He's applied for all the different types of jobs you can think off so his search field is pretty broad as any job is better than being on benefits :(
    He does a job search everyday as per the new online job match rules and on average applies for about 10 jobs a day, out of which he probably hears back from about 1 in 20 and if he's lucky he gets an interview here and there but it always seems to go to someone with "more experience".
    But unfortunately there's another few thousand people all applying for the same jobs and in the same situation :(
    I agree with you completely about the loan, I wouldn't want that hanging over my head on my wedding day :(

    Members signature icon
    Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D


  5.  
    • TanyaS78
      CommentAuthorTanyaS78
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    Its going to be hard because so many people are in the same position. I have my fingers crossed for you that something comes out of it all. Sounds like he is trying his best to get a job.

    Just try and keep your chin up hun
  6.  
    • Nelinde
      CommentAuthorNelinde
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    Thank you :)

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    Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D


  7.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    he needs to tailor his cv to the job hes is going for ... eg if going for a cleaning job why mention his degree

    has he looked working in a school either as an un-qualified teacher or an it Technician

    even voluntary work can help him out as well as filling his day it can sometimes lead to a job

  8.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    You've hit the hammer right on the nail there. Thousands of people all applying for one job.

    Only thing he can really do is keep trying and try not to give up. It's easy to do but so not worth it.

    Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  9.  
    • Nelinde
      CommentAuthorNelinde
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2014
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    Yeah after being declined for the cleaning job he got told to dumb down his cv for jobs like that to make him look like he's not going be able to get a better job :/

    Thank you Victoria. My OH did go through a rough patch from where he was constantly getting knocked back :( He's doing a bit better now we've got the nicer weather and can take the kids round the parc etc and get out of the house :)

    Members signature icon
    Getting ready to marry my soul mate! :-D


  10.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 7th 2014
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    It does sound very difficult. I suppose you're already doing everything DIY that you can? Is there anything none essential that you can cut without losing your deposit? You can sometimes find casual work doing mystery shopper jobs, which you can do at your own convenience. It might be worth looking into what is required to register as a child minder, I'm not sure if you actually need a qualification. Could your H2B get anything self-employed? Maybe he could advertise to help people independently who need IT help, pr coach people for qualifications. It's not a lot but better than nothing.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  11.  
    • AndreaE20
      CommentAuthorAndreaE20
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 12th 2014
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    hi hope your situation is better now hun but has your H2B considered working in care i work in a nursing home and there is pretty much always a job going from cleaners to care staff got everything crossed for you

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    Future Mrs Ryan
    First Date 4th July 2009
    Asked me to be his wife 6th Augest 2014
    Hoping to be his wife on 4th July 2017
  12.  
    • CLG93
      CommentAuthorCLG93
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 12th 2014
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      edited
     
    sucks hun.. we both work adnd I still think were going to struggle for money :( we need to be paying off £600 a month to afford it..

    im planning on working a second job but dread leaving my little man more than I do already.

    Cant wait to become Mrs C Glover!
    2nd August 2015 <3

 
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