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Wedding Forum - Do Brides Pay For The Bridesmaides?...

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  1.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    Hi all,

    So ive paid for my bridesmaides dresses (£100 each) i haven't discussed shoes yet but they will just be a pair of nude shoes.

    Im going to obviously have my hair and makeup done but do we pay for the bridesmaides too? or give them the option of ill pay for their hair and they can pay for the makeup?

    Im not sure whats expected and what comes across as rude if its not offered?

    Could people give me their opinions on what they have done or are doing? TIA x

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  2.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    I bought the dresses and jewellery for my bms and paid for 2 of them to have alterations. I asked them to buy their own shoes or wear a pair that they already had... I just specified nude, but left them to choose their own individual styles so that they could choose something they'd be likely to wear again. If you want them to have a particular pair of shoes/matching shoes then I would pay for them.

    My bridesmaids did each other's hair and makeup. I said that they were more than welcome to have either/or professionally done however they would need to pay.. they were all more than happy to do their own. We had trial nights too which was a great excuse to get together for them to practice, was nice to have some "wedding bonding time" :)

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  3.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    I'm going to be paying for my bridesmaids hair and make up as part of their thank you gift.
  4.  
    • LaurenD45
      CommentAuthorLaurenD45
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    I'm paying for my bridesmaids hair as I want it a specific way.
    I'm not having a make up artist myself so I told them I would not be providing them with one. However if they wished to pay for themselves I would organise it on their behalf.
  5.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Im paying for hair but not makeup as im doing my own as well.
    I did offer to pay if they wanted one but theyre happy doing their own.

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    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  6.  
    • SamB90
      CommentAuthorSamB90
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
     
    I think its totally up to you. I'm paying for their dresses, jewellery, hair and make up and asking them to get the shoes and bag x

    Members signature icon
    Will become Mrs Holland on 08/08/2017


  7.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    Thats a good excuse if your doing your own or they are doing each others.

    Im having someone come and do my hair and make up and i think id feel rude if i didnt pay for theres, but its £50 each for hair and £50 each for make up, its alot of money all together :(

    thanks for letting me know what you ladies did xx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  8.  
    • EmmaM1435
      CommentAuthorEmmaM1435
      Got married 28 months ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    If there is anything that we are specifically requesting then we will be paying for it, ie if we're asking for a specific colour or style shoe. We are having the bms hair done professionally, but not having a make up artist, as each of our bridesmaids has a specific style when it comes to their make up, one of them always wears amazing lipstick, one does the most amazing eye make up, and we want their personality to shine through on the wedding day.

    It's all down to personal preference tho and, ultimately, what you can afford. If you can't afford to pay for each bridesmaid to have their hair and make up done, explain it to them, I'm sure they will understand
  9.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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    thanks Emma,

    Yea i think im going to offer to pay to hair all their make up done and they can pay to have their hair done, or vise versa. then thats compromise!! its difficult cause none of my brides know each other, 2 are in scotland and 1 is in england so its difficult to get them together, might have to start a wh4t$app group chat lol xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  10.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
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      edited
     
    I gave my bridesmaids the option. I said if they wanted it done professionally they would have to pay, but I had no requirements about how they did their hair so they could do their own.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  11.  
    • EmmaM1435
      CommentAuthorEmmaM1435
      Got married 28 months ago
      Posted: Aug 25th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    MrsC2be- That is a good compromise and I think pretty fair. Wh4t$app group would be really good, our maids and us have a group for chatting and they officially met each other when we took them along to see our Venue, but I appreciate it is much more difficult for you to get them all together when you're so far apart xx
  12.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2016
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    Thanks Elinor, thats nice that you still have them the option.

    Yep i think ill make the wh4t$app group and then offer them for me to pay for one and they pay for the other :)

    Yea it is quite hard to get them all together, my maid down in england is actually my best friend and maid of honour, but she has really rubbish so im pretty dissapointed. fingers crossed the group chat will help! xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  13.  
    • Shellbell
      CommentAuthorShellbell
      Got married 31 months ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2016
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    I think its entirely down to the bride. We are only having my daughter as bridesmaid so we are paying for everything for her. xx

    Met 2004 lost contact after a few years
    Met again 2013
    Engaged July 6th 2016
    Married July 14th 2018
  14.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2016
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    Thats really sweet to have your daughter as bridesmaid!! :D xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  15.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 27th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I paid for their hair to be done, and I offered to pay for their make up but bless them, they wanted to do their own make up themselves. I think they felt better using their own stuff that they and their skin was used to, and to be honest I just said 'natural' to them and was happy to let the, get on with it! I bought them a nail varnish each in the colour I wanted them to have (found a perfect match for their dresses) and that was fine, one of the girls wanted to get acrylics done so she did that and painted the colour on top - looked lovely xxxx
  16.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 28th 2016
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    thanks louise, hadnt even thought that far ahead as to nail varnish!!! Thankyou lol x

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  17.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 29th 2016
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    We are paying for everything and there is 5 of them so it's certainly mounting up but when I've been BM/MOH that's what has happened for me so I just assumed that is the norm. Xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  18.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 29th 2016
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    I paid for their dresses, alterations, hair and makeup. This gave me choice over colour and style, well basically final say. They wore their own shoes/sandals, I said I didn't mind the style, as long as the colour matched. They wore their own jewellery and they basically wore very similar pieces so they pretty much matched each other.

    I think if you want to retain control over the look and style you need to be prepared to pay. If you're happy for them to go with whatever style and look they want then you can ask them if they'll pay or do their own x

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  19.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 29th 2016
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    I agree, i dont mind how they have their hair and make up or jewelry, but i dont want to not pay for all of it and make me look tight, so i think if i pay for hair they can pay for make up so its fair :) xxx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  20.  
    • CommentAuthorSamanthaW362
      Posted: Aug 30th 2016
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    we pay them with a gift not money
  21.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 30th 2016
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    i will be paying for my bridesmaids dresses, make-up and hair but only because my cousin is a hairdresser and doing it at 10 pound per person so it's really not too expensive otherwise I would have them do their own hair. I won't be paying for shoes or bags, jewellery may be a gift to them x

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  22.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 30th 2016
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    So did you not pay for the dress or anything Samantha, just a gift on the day?

    Wow Nicole thats a great bargain!!! Lucky you to know a hairdresser :) yea i like making the jewelry a gift for them, but then i would worry if they already brought new jewelry for the day and i asked them to wear the gift i brought. I think i just think about it too much lol xx

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  23.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 30th 2016
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    aha im sure they will appreciate it in any event :) they have some more jewelry whats not to love!

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  24.  
    • MaxineP89
      CommentAuthorMaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I will be paying for my Bridesmaids dresses.

    I will also be paying for my 2 daughters (Bridesmaids) hair and make up too.

    However, my Maid of Honour is a different matter. I still feel quite bitter as when she got married, she purchased my dress, and had mentioned the night before about the timings for hair and makeup. When it came to it on the day, I ended up doing my own (hair and makeup) I'm not girly at all and rarely wear make up, so ended up with my hair straight and style less and barely any make up.

    Although I want to pay for my moh to have the works done - I cant help but remember how let down I felt.

    I guess I shall rise above it, and pay, as I would like them all to be treated the same and all made to feel special

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan


  25.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Aug 31st 2016
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    Nicole thats true!!! x

    Maxine, I can imagine thats an annoying situation! But i guess youll just need to rise above it because you dont want her to feel let down either (even though she let you feel like that) if you do what you think is right then you wont feel bad or have any regrets on the day :)
    x

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
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    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
 
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