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Wedding Forum - Dad dilemma...

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  1.  
    • Kittenaj
      CommentAuthorKittenaj
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I sent out my day invites this week. The weddings not till December but a lot of out of towners so hotel booking needed.

    I sent my dad his invite, it's for the day for him and his second wife only and not his second set of kids (they are mid 20's) and I haven't spoken to any of them in 3 1/2 years and very badly behaved loud, rude and crude) intend to invite them for the evening. At 10.30 he calls me when he should know I'm at work and really rather rudely and shouty asks where the invites for my half siblings are. I told him that I would be inviting them for the evening do as the venue is small and we can only have 50 for a sit down meal. He then says that I am excluding them and do I really think that they would travel from Leeds to London for a few hours (only one of them has a job). He then shouts that if I don't change the wedding invite to include the half siblings and their kids (it's also no children during the day none of the bridal party or guests have small children. They are invited for the night do.) I'll have two more places at the wedding because he won't be coming. I expected he would be okay with them only coming for the night as it would he cheaper for them. Why couldn't he have just put me first on my wedding day not decided to show off. To be honest I want to say stuff you to him and grind his many failings as a father in his face but part of me just wants him to be there.
  2.  
    • CJGroove
      CommentAuthorCJGroove
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm always tempted to say, in situations like this I read on here far too often, that you should stick to your guns and not alter your day just for one or two stubborn people; if this is the ultimatum, then he is going to have to deal with the consequences. Missing his daughters wedding because of his stubborn ways...
    but I know it's far more complicated than that, especially when it comes to parents.

    I would advise that you keep your plans, explain to him that you can't change them and it's ultimately his decision to not be there, but you do what you feel is the right thing sweetheart, only you know what will make you truly happy.

    xxx
  3.  
    • TheFutureMrsK
      CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Can you maybe give him some time to calm down and talk to him again? Could you invite your half sibling but not their kids? xxx

    “Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
    -Ambrose Bierce

  4.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd be tempted to tell him were to go. It's your wedding and he should accept that. If I didn't see my siblings for that long they'd be lucky to get an evening invite.

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  5.  
    • Kittenaj
      CommentAuthorKittenaj
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I just spoke to my cousin and she said he is a big baby and should respect my wishes. It's not as if he doesn't know how I feel about his wife and second kids. I am making a big compromise allowing his wife. I think I'm going to stick to my guns and let him contact me.
  6.  
    • CJGroove
      CommentAuthorCJGroove
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Good girl :)
  7.  
    • MrsBull2B
      CommentAuthorMrsBull2B
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with everyone else, however, who is giving you away? If he is, then it may cause even more problems. Me personally, I would accept their refusal of the invite.

    Members signature icon
    Met 5th Sept 2005
    Got together 10th May 2011
    Got Engaged 14th Feb 2012
    Getting Married 13th June 2015
  8.  
    • Kittenaj
      CommentAuthorKittenaj
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm doing it my self or my mum. She was the primary rock in my whole life before my h2b.
  9.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree stick to your guns. I hope things work out ok x
  10.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Stick to your plans. If he makes a bigger fuss, ask if he would like to pay for extra heads (to which I assume he will say no) x

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  11.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you've been perfectly fair. If he cares about your wedding he'll back down, if he doesn't then you don't need him there.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  12.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    A difficult one :o/ Maybe best to wait until he calms down before you speak to him again, but could you not compromise and promote your half siblings from the evening if there are people invited to the day that can't make it?

    Hope it all works out for you xx
  13.  
    • CommentAuthorMrsManiatt
      BadgeBadge
     
    Stick to your guns. If it was half siblings that you got along with it would be different. but 1 - you don't like them. 2 - you don't see them. 3 - you are not having other children in the day, so you would be making an exception. 4 - you don't have the space, and what space you do have is obviously filled by others that you DO like. Tell them where to go. They come to the evening, or not at all. and if your dad has a problem, then he doesn't deserve to be at your wedding. As you said, your Mam is your rock. you don't need s*** on your wedding day. xxxx
  14.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    What she said

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  15.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with the others who have said stick to your guns. He is being out of order and using emotional blackmail and you don't need that.




  16.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I also agree it's not his day and he doesn't seem to care what you think, he should be grateful you've invited him
    Have the people who are special to you there
  17.  
    • Mrs T Hurley!
      CommentAuthorMrs T Hurley!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I have 2 half siblings and they're not invited. Hopefully its just your Father trying his luck. It is your day and you shouldn't be forced to accommodate other people. It's not as if you haven't invited them at all. You've invited them to the evening so you have tried to include them.

    IMO, I would say 'Your loss Dad.' and leave it at that. That's what I would do if my father threatened me with that.

    Members signature icon
    Met 18/09/03
    Engaged 06/09/08
    Getting married 05/09/17
  18.  
    • DanielleMystic
      CommentAuthorDanielleMystic
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    what a big attention seeking baby! he needs to grow up and work out whats more important! hope it all works out the way YOU want it to hun, good on you for sticking to your guns and not caving in. he isn't in charge of your big day and cannot dictate who gets special treatment! xx

    Members signature icon
    *What hasn't killed me has made me stronger!*
    *Saved by her knight this Queen won't let them win!*
    Am blessed to be loved by you and your father
 

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