For our wedding package we need 65 people. I sent out my invites at the beginning of the month. On the invite I put the rsvp date was 1st March so that details could be given to the restaurant, they also have to give a menu choice on the RSVP. I am concerned as we currently only have 37 confirmed, and the ones I haven't heard back from are the ones that I thought would be unlikely to come. I do have extras who I am inviting to the evening but wasn't going to invite them to the day as wanted it to be for family.
I'm concerned now that I'm going to lose my package deal and there is going to be hardly anybody there. I don't want to be begging people to come either.
I was going to put a gentle reminder on bookface on Monday just to remind people in case of the hopefully likely event that they had just forgotten to reply.
Anybody else in this same situation? Any suggestions?
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Not in this situation yet but no doubt i will be when the time comes! How about sending out a text reminder to those who havent replied first before putting it on book of the face?
The people that havent replied... are they close family? As in will you be likely to see them? Or another family member maybe to give them a gentle push? Does the package just include 'up to 65' or does it have to be exactly 65? My package covers up to 50 people in the day but if i only wanted 45 there then there wouldnt be an issue with the package itself i could still have all the same details? xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorkjl87
No they aren't people that I'm close with, only usually see them once a year and that's only because we go there at Christmas, wouldn't see them otherwise. The rest are on my partners side, and we don't see them. They are all ones that were invited to my sons christenings and didn't come so I thought it would be unlikely that they would be coming.
No my package needs a minimum of 65 people, I don't think it would be an issue if it was only the case of being a few people under, but to be nearly 30 under I think would change it. I think I'd have to end up paying per person rather than the package, but it works out the same price.
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
oh right fair enough - are there any friends you would rather invite instead then? We've got close friends that havent made the cut as such for the wedding as family have been invited first but we've got them on back up just in case lol xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorkjl87
I think that's what I'll have to end up doing, I have a number of people who I'm inviting to the evening as we couldn't afford to invite during the day. Just hope they don't think it's an afterthought - I'm sure they'll understand.
of course they'll understand - family will always get pirority to a certain degree - i know that if my friend invited me to her wedding as a 'stand in' I'd love it as much as i wouldve done but i would understand family spots come first :D I'm sure they'll all be fine with it xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i bumped people up 3 days before the wedding and they were delighted
as to those who haven't replied ..CALL them , this then put them on the spot... giving no room for lame excuses ...
I would go ahead and out a reminder on FB, or email/phone those who don't have FB! Some people are just dreadful at responding to invitations and some people don't seem to realise they even have to RSVP. As for bumping up evening guests, I'm sure they would be delighted :)
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I'd start calling next week. But now I would put a reminder on for. It may be that they have forgot.. Easily done by me and my family
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I have and people to RSVP asap, and then they can do their menu options at a later date, but are not sending out our evening till nearer the time, so if people say they can't come we can bump someone up without them knowing they were originally just evening.
Probably allot of them have just forgotten, you know what people are like, so put a reminder on book face, and if they are family maybe ask your mum and his mum to help give some petiole a ring round hopfuly that will say there and then yes or no, and be able to give you menu selection.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthormichgib
Yes I think a reminder for the rsvp is needed. Its so frustrating when people don't let you know
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
I think you should invite them all round then lock the door and refuse to let them leave until they have signed a contract saying that they will be attended and are liable for £xx if they fail to show as they would then be in breach of contract
Ours is similar we have to agree to have a certain number or you have to pay per person and that can work out a lot more. I haven't even sent my invites yet but tht is a worry
CommentAuthorkjl87
I think charging people who say they are coming but don't is a very good idea!
CommentAuthorEmily17
Lala and K.j that's a bit harsh. If you assume people are coming which all of us do when booking a wedding then it's not their fault if they say they can't..
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
edited
Emily my post was tongue in cheek hun !!! and was aimed at people who say they are coming then fail to show up
We found that one to one chasers got replies from most people. After a general chaser on the book I would then send emails or texts to them individually to remind them that you do need to know. In the meantime start working out who you might bump up and in what order. You need to know that anyway in case of last minute dropout. We were glad in the last week that we had planned who to bump up, as we were able to move quickly when people dropped out through ill health.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
edited
I sent a message on bookface to people that hadn't responded, and asked FMIL to do H2B's Cousins as he wasn't willing to! I got pretty quick responses from people after that. H2B's Auntie even said that she was so busy telling his Cousin (who is away at Uni) how lovely the invite was that she missed the RSVP date on it! One of my Cousins claims she sent the RSVP back ages ago but I don't quite believe that she's sent it, as nothing has turned up.
A polite text message, email or PM on bookface should work. You've probably got time to bump people up if you don't get any joy.
CommentAuthorkjl87
I was only joking about charging people that don't attend too! Lol
Yep will do the gentle reminder which gives them a week to do it before the cut off date.
CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
I hate people that don't RSVP, it's the height of rudeness. I organised a pamper party and ended up cancelling g as out of 45 people who I had invited only 1 confirmed yes 1 maybe and 6 were no. I wasn't asking someone to come out to have 1 guest. I always make a point of RSVP ing ASAP as I just think it is polite to do so xx
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
I'm dreading the chasing up. I hate people who don't drop a quick call/text/email/fb message/letter to just say Yes/No. Thankfully most of them are easily reached to say "Yes/No are you coming?" If they are still sitting at a maybe by the cut off RSVP day then they will have to just come to the evening.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorkjl87
If people who are invited to the day don't reply or don't intend on coming during the day, I wouldn't want them there in the evening. Purely for the reason that it would show they would only want to come to the after party rather than witnessing the important part of us getting married.
CommentAuthorEmily17
Have to agree with you kjl87. Although I know I have one uncle who will struggle transport to get there for day but that's different
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorkjl87
Of course if they have a genuine reason then that's fair enough.
CommentAuthorEmily17
Have you managed to send your reminder yet? Any responses?
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorInDreamland
A reminder on FB is a good idea. I'd send out targeted reminders to those who haven't RSVP 5 days before the deadline just to check they received the invite x
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorAprilS61
We made a private FB event (specifically made those those who hadnt already RSVPd anyway!) so need to send a reminder that the date was yesterday! *off to do it now...*
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorTeresa
i would call them up if you could, then they can answer, remind them you need to know for numbers. xx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
They need a reminder, I had to with some of mine as well. If they were on book face I done it that way, you'll probs be a,aged at how many forget to reply
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorTeresa
let us know how you get on xx
CommentAuthorAmandaK74
I agree with calling them or calling in on them over the next week or so, maybe they are waiting for holiday confirmation from work ect, but i would hate the not knowing, they could at least keep you updated with their plans
met 11th December 2010
engaged 2nd August 2013
getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
CommentAuthorkjl87
I put a reminder on there yesterday, nothing from any of the ones that I am waiting on. The last day for rsvp is Sunday, so if I don't get anything by then then I'll start contacting indivisuals. Worrying thing too is one set of the families include the flower girl - I'm guessing that they are coming but have had nothing to confirm and I'm not 100% that they will.
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
i havent sent my invites yet hoping to have them all done by mid march but i would be so frustrated if i wasn't getting my RSVP's back by the cut off date. especially if they say they are going then just dont show up i would be temped to send them an invoice after haha seeing as my meals are £89.95 each :-O
xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorkjl87
I haven't done my evening invites yet, was waiting to see how many of them I could invite to the day too. But feel like I'm inviting people just for the sake of making up numbers. It's all just added stress that's not needed :(
CommentAuthorkjl87
Really wish I went for something more intimate for ones that I knew would definitly be attending, would have been a much more personal day.
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
KJ im in the same boat as you! we have room for 65 guests for the day and then any evening we have to pay for each person which is £22.95. but people who i actually want there only comes to about 50 odd and it means me inviting people for the sake of it xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorkjl87
Kids meals are free, so if I do end being short on people I might have to invent a lot of children "guests".
CommentAuthorIrishbride2be
are they? the kids meals at ours is £16.95 :-/ xx
Met my dream man on Halloween 2012
Proposed to me in Spain 22nd July 2014
Getting married 12 september 2015
Marrying my forever best friend :-)
CommentAuthorkjl87
No sorry kids under 5 are free, the meal is free but have to pay for drinks package.
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
YOu need to be firm and tell them if they have not replied to say yay or nay, you will not be expecting them at the wedding. There is a date for RSVPs for a reason. Annoys me when people do not understand this.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
In not waiting for replays yet however I have decided if their is anyone I'm waiting on they will get one reminder, then the follow up will say if I haven't had any contact from them within 48 hours ill assume they can't attend and ther day invite will no longer stand.
CommentAuthorkjl87
My mum has contacted some people who have said that they are coming, some have come back on my partners to say they didn't receive the invite.
But with the ones who are coming - why didn't they say?! Grrr it's so frustrating. I gave them a return envelope, email and telephone number, couldn't make it any easier. Fair enough if it was just a simple yes or no to coming, they might have assumed that I knew they were coming, but they have had to make food choices on the rsvp.
Anyway, sounds a bit more positive, but we'll see.
CommentAuthorEmmaG
edited
people can be such pains in the bum when it comes to just letting people know !! it takes 2 mins to reply whether by phone or email/fb .. annoying isn't it.. I know i will have to chase people, i have had to chase people just to get their postal address to send invite !! ha..
Soooooo excited to be marrying my Best Friend !!
Life is Wild, Love it Live it !
