What do people think of children at weddings? Mainly the evening do.
We aren't having a sit down meal, so it'll be family/close friends and their children for the service then onto the evening do. I think children make a wedding as they get the dancing started and just have fun. With 4 of my own there was always going to be children there but my eldest will be 17 & 10 so I don't consider them as they can pretty much look after themselves. My other children will be 5 & 3 and I think I'll put them to bed about 9pm as I want there to be a proportion of the evening where it is just adults with no little ones running about and probably getting cranky.
So the thing is - how do I put this to my guests? I was thinking of just inviting the couple's on the invite and putting a note in to say children are welcome till 9pm. How would you feel about this? My thinking was that ppl can choose to bring their children till 9pm and then get a parent to collect them or they could choose to come without the children. I just don't want to loose half my guests at 9pm if they take the children home. The other thing I thought was that maybe one parent might take the kid/s home.
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CommentAuthorclive
I really wouldn't worry about giving a time limit. Let the respective parents decide when they are tired. Otherwise they may feel dictated to. Ftr, wer'e also having kids - the youngest being 1, and the,eldest being 11.
Just go with the flow. The kids will soon let their parents know when it's bedtime:-)
CommentAuthorsarah
Invitations are not the place for rules imho, you run the risk of offending guests and creating a lot of aggro. Parents know their own children best and should be trusted to know when to take their children home and put them to bed.
CommentAuthorLauz&Stu
I certainly don't want to offend any of my guests, but there will always be those who keep their kids till the end and I want the end of mu evening to be kid free. Not everyone has kids and those without will certainly appreciate part of the evening where it's just adults - and regardless it's my day and I also want some kid free party time. Kids are hard work!
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CommentAuthorsarah
But you are having kid free party time after you put yours to bed, and you'll be so busy enjoying your day that you won't notice any stragglers (if there are any).
My sil had children at her wedding including her 2 boys who were 2/6 at the time and pleanty of cousins who werr youngish and my sil child minder took the boys home to bed at 9ish and other parents put there kids to bed in the hotel rooms an general took turns to watch the rooms and other parents who did not gsve rooms in the hotel left them at home, people know well enough how long it goes on an know whats best for them and their kids! X
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CommentAuthorbarbie86
I think that the only way you can do this is by having a family-friendly ceremony, and then an adult reception; I think putting a time limit on the reception is a bit unreasonable, and could lead to some people just leaving early. If for example a guest lives 10 minutes away by car, it is highly unlikely they're going to drive home, then come back again for just a few hours.
I don't think there's anything wrong with an adult only wedding or reception (ours will largely be child-free, with our 11 year old bridesmaid and my 12 year old cousin the only children there), but I kind of feel it has to be all or nothing, and that putting a time-limit on their presence, unless it's a very clear one eg for the ceremony only, is a bit unreasonable and could make it hard for people to find sitters. In your case, given you don't mind them being there until 9pm, I would just leave parents to make their own decision.
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
i went to a wedding last year and she put on the evening invite no children after 9pm i wasnt offended but i will be honest with you alot of her guests did not turn up.ill be having 31 kids at my wedding doo im having to ask for none at the ceremony as there just is not the spaces so they will be meeting us at the venue.to keep them busy im hiring a dome bouncy castle that has lights and music in it so hopefully they will all be busy with that : ) saying that i might be on it as well lol x
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CommentAuthorLauz&Stu
Thanks for the advice guys. I think you're right Sarah, once mine are in bed I don't need to worry about anyone else's!
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CommentAuthorAmyK
Well, at least you're being considerate to them too if you think about it... But when it's late and you've got a load who are over tired, whingey, grizzly, crying etc... it's not much fun for them. Oh wait - that's half of h2bs adult cousins I've just described there! Other people's children are their responsibility, so its up to them to think ahead - everyone expects a late finish to a wedding, especially if yours is a later in the day ceremony too
CommentAuthorSarahW627
I agree, I would put on there a time for children to be excluded. It's your day and if that is what you want then so be it. Most parents would not have a problem as they would normally expect to have the kids in bed by a certain time.
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
It's a tricky one - I suspect that if you set a time limit, most people with children either won't bring them at all or leave with there children at 9pm...from a logistical point of view, it might be more difficult to arrange to pick them up or drop them off halfway through the night.
Some venues have a seperate 'chill out' room for kiddies, I've been to weddings where they e stuck a DVD in for the kids and they've all gone in there to watch it later in the evening (most of them fell asleep, tbh).
Having said that, I think children welcome until such a such a time is fine on an invite - you could always blame the venue, some venues don't like children around after eight or nine anyway.
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CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I'm having my 3 daughters at the day,but no other children at all,my 3 will be going to their dads at about 6pm then adults only after that! We went to a wedding on fri night where there were kids and it felt like none of the guests were relaxed because they were running after their kids making sure they hadn't gone outside and stuff
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CommentAuthorLauz&Stu
Yeah I am worried about that - people spending too much time worrying about their kids and not enjoying themselves. I also have visions of kids knocking into people, drinks going flying etc etc. I'm still very much on the fence on this. I went to a wedding a few months ago and there was a member of the wedding party with red wine all over his hired suit due to a child wanting to continue playing after he'd gone for a sit down. He was a star and took it in good spirit, but some people would be really annoyed by that! I also worry about annoying, cranky kids. Hmmmm what to do?
Mother to 4
Engaged to my soul mate
Loving life
Mrs Tomlinson to be
