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Wedding Forum - Can i ask BM's to get own shoes??...

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  1.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    is it too cheeky? I am paying for everything else for my BM's, dresses, jewellery, hair and make up. and each of the bm's has a different shoe preferences, one is actually in the middle of having surgery on her feet so is unable to wear heels, so to avoid the stress of sorting shoes out for each BM i was hoping to ask them to get their own, would it be too cheeky to ask a colour preference as well? if it is then i won't ask but i do think i may have been over lenient with their dress opinions and I cannot deal with that again ahaha TIA x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  2.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ive asked them to just use their own shoes, they need nude shoes so i thought most people own a pair of nudes. i didnt think it was too cheeky cause like you im getting everything else for them. Just ask them sure theyll be fine :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  3.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    thanks :)

    I'm just thinking as i would prefer the shoes to be silver and i'm not sure they will all have a silver pair. I might just out the question out there and see what they say :) x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  4.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's ok. My BMs got their own shoes but i did say black as it's a colour they will definitely wear again and i was easy on the style as well but that is because they had long dresses so you wouldn't really see their footwear unless they were sitting down and to be honest it really didn't bother me what they had on their feet.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  5.  
    • FayeH
      CommentAuthorFayeH
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm asking bridesmaids and groomsmen to arrange their own footwear for the day! I think people understand that everything is crazy expensive
  6.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks everyone, I'll just speak honestly with them and see what they say :)

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'm sure they'll be fine with it if you're flexible and easy going about style and colour.

    I've been BM a few times and each time wore my own footwear. I'm BM this year for my best mate and i told her to let us all just sort our own shoes if we have long dresses because noone sees them anyway and it saves her money.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  8.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Tbh I think most girls prefer to sort their own shoes- tell them now- some fab shoe sales in silver!

    Members signature icon



  9.  
    • Wundatigga
      CommentAuthorWundatigga
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 4th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I've asked my eldest 2 bms to sort their own shoes as I think footwear is a very personal thing, and plus I had to draw the line somewhere as money is very tight at the moment.

    I have said I don't mind what colour they have, as their dresses are purple so will go with most colours, as long as their shoes either match in colour or compliment each other,

    Members signature icon
    Started dating: 10th February 2011
    Welcomed our little girl: May 2015
    I proposed: 23rd December 2015
    I finally become Mrs R 17th August 2017
  10.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Mine will be buying there own, I asked them as if they minded and explained I had no real issues with any styles they could have what they wanted but to try and stick to a colour. They are more than happy with that. They understand that I am paying for their dresses and hair and makeup.
  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
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    I asked my bridesmaids to get their own shoes which I asked to be nude. I still left the style to them as wanted them to buy something that they actually liked and would be able to wear again. I don't think it's cheeky at all, especially if you are paying for everything else. They need only spend as much money as they want on them, it's not like you're telling them they HAVE to buy a really expensive pair or anything.

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  12.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    thanks everyone :) i really don't mind what style of shoe they wear, that's entirely up to them so hopefully they will be ok about it. thanks again x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  13.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Also to add you'd be giving them plenty of notice as well. :)

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  14.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    yeh of course, if it was an issue i'm sure i could stretch the budget i suppose just wouldn't be easy ahaha x

    Members signature icon
    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  15.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
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    I would go for it. Everyone is different with shoes so its hard to buy one pair for everyone.

    Just be a little lenient with colour and style and should be ok.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  16.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    will do :) the dresses are long anyway so they will cover the shoes!

    Thank you x

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  17.  
    • SusanM34
      CommentAuthorSusanM34
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
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    I asked my bms to get their own. They all chose styles that they were comfortable with and could afford. All I asked was that they chose either siver or grey. They were more than happy to do that. x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!


  18.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 5th 2017
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    I bought my own shoes both times I was a bridesmaid. One time I chose them having just been told to get ivory, and I chose ones I would use again. The other time the bride chose them. In all honesty I would have preferred it if the bride had either paid for them or given us more choice, as they had high heels which I never wear and I didn't keep them. However all the other bridesmaids liked them so I didn't want to be difficult. I let my bridesmaids sort their own shoes and didn't even specify a colour, as the dresses were long enough to hide all but the toes and I didn't think anyone would look at the shoes anyway. Plus one bridesmaid, hubby's sister, is severely disabled and needed special shoes. I think all the bridesmaids wore shoes they already had. I would say if you're not too prescriptive on what they have to buy, so they can get shoes they will wear again, and that are within a budget that suits them, then it's reasonable for them to buy their own.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
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  19.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 6th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    thank you :)

    Just with all the bm's wanting different style shoes it seems easier this way x

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  20.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jan 8th 2017
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    The chances are if going for black theyll already have something they can wear.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  21.  
    • HannahB146
      CommentAuthorHannahB146
      Posted: Jan 8th 2017
     
    I am planning on doing this too. I'm sure they won't mind :) especially if you ask them well in advance so they have time to find the right pair.
  22.  
    • FutureMrsW
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jan 8th 2017
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it's a good idea, I might do the same. I've been finding the idea of choosing the same shoes for different people rather hard, this way they can have shoes that are more individual x




  23.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 9th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    yes :) i'm going to have a chat with them all this weekend - it is nine months in advance so i'm sure they can sort something out - and i'm sure a lot of them will have suitable shoes anyway x

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  24.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jan 13th 2017
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    One of my BM's who thankfully stepped down, said she had never had to spend so much just to be someones bridesmaid. I only wanted her to sort her own shoes out lol

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    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  25.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jan 16th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    some people jus't dont understand the cost and pressure when planning a wedding i think velcro as after planning my own i know i will not be anywhere near as fussy as some bm's have been with me when i am bm for a friend x

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
 
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