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Wedding Forum - Buttonholes etiquette?...

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  1.  
    • GemmaB596
      CommentAuthorGemmaB596
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 26th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    What is everybody else doing in regards to buttonholes?
    I had not even really thought about it really as my partner and myself are not really "flowery" people (I've only ever had flowers twice in my life!) and so I had only really thought about getting the bouquets for myself and my bridesmaids and then maybe some centre pieces for the tables at the reception. Then when my parents mentioned buttonholes I thought okay, so I just need to buy a few for the wedding party, but my aunt got really upset by that saying that I should be providing a buttonhole for everybody attending the church and that she would be very upset if she didn't get one?! My partner and myself do not want to separate our day and evening guests as there is nobody on the list that we do not want to be at the ceremony, so that would be 150 buttonholes to provide...
    What is everybody else doing?
    Considering some florists are quoting between £1.50-£4.50 per buttonhole I am thinking that 150 will use up a big chunk of our wedding budget for a flower which will only be either in the bin or dying by the following morning, so it feels like a waste of money to me! When I told my parents I don't see the point in that my dad just kind of shrugged and said that as we are having a white, church wedding people will expect everything else to be traditional as well.
    Using artificial flowers are out of the question as well as I would have my family having kittens as they loathe artificial flowers!
  2.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 26th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't know what's tradition for a church but buttonholes we are having are

    Groom, bestman, my dad (oh's dad if he was alive) ushers, page boy, and I am having my FBIL as he isn't just any other guest

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    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
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  3.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 26th 2014
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    I remember agrees ago someone said something similar about someone saying everyone should get one that is not traditional, only people in wedding party groomsmen etc and main family is you father/his father gets button holes to show everyone else who to all if they need help

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    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
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  4.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Sep 26th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    Not sure about every1 i think thats personal choice alot of people only do button holes for all the men and favours for woman or somehing like that

    My mam is having a fancy one. H2b is having a double(2 colours) other men IN the wedding party r having ivory my son is having a small ivory button hole

    Id prefer mam to of had a corsage but she didnt want that not sure why i feel they r more womanly lol

    U usualy also get the fancy(triple more womanly looking) buttonholes for the important women ie mob mog aunties etc

    But mog is important to either of us sounds harsh but i wont go into detail lol

    It also depends in budget dont di anything you cnt relly affoed

    Dont do anything u dnt want to for that matter :-)
  5.  
    • kittyh
      CommentAuthorkittyh
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    In our wedding the people who are having the buttonholes are all the men wearing suits (h2b, best man, groomsmen and ushers, both our dads) and I am also adding on my two uncles as it wouldn't feel right for them not to have one (for me personally), then we are having corsages for our mums, our nans and my two aunties as they are both helping with things for the wedding.

    We are having what I consider to be an EXCESSIVE amount of buttonholes compared to what is the norm these days! I think back in the day people used to all wear a buttonhole to the church but a lot of those people would buy there own not always supplied by the bride and groom.

    Frankly it isn't anything to do with your auntie - its your choice. Just get buttonholes for whoever you want, whether that's just the groom, your wedding party, your close family, whatever you want and what your budget allows for. Don't be pushed into things you don't want. Its really not necessary for you to buy 150 buttonholes!! :)
  6.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We only provided button holes for those who were wearing the groomsmen suits. That was hubby, my three sons, his son, my step dad and his brother who was best man. I think it is darn cheeky saying that people think YOU should provide one, they are already getting a meal free, and they are moaning about a couple of £s. As you say, if you done it for everyone, it would be a huge chunk, even with the cheapest option.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  7.  
    • JadeM822
      CommentAuthorJadeM822
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
     
    We are just doing buttonholes for groom, best man, my brother, grooms brother and fog and fob. then corsages for mog and mob. x
  8.  
    • AmyK
      CommentAuthorAmyK
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    First of all - well done for getting them so cheap - the basic ones we got were £11.50 each for the men, corsages were £18 for the women (corsages are a bit more fancy than the men's). But it is standard to have them just for the bridal party - we had them for groom, best men (inc. hubby's bro), dads and even though they weren't in the bridal party, my brothers as they were witness/announced my arrival. Its a way to make them stand out in the photos and help the photographer know who is in the bridal party.
    But - the florist didn't deliver them to my house - didn't get chance to write on the card who gets which - as a result the wrong people got them (hubby's sisters useless boyfriend got one but my brother, our witness didn't!!? and someone thought it'd be a great idea to pin one on my young pageboy nephew!!? and my mum (larger lady) ended up with the smallest corsage but MIL (size 6) ended up with the large one). Some people just don't think and may end up helping themselves - so it'd be worth quashing the idea with your aunt straight away. It'd be a waste to spend so much money when jackets will be taken off and buttonholes will be lost/squashed/picked to pieces etc. so maybe keep it to those who would expect to have to wear them?




  9.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
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    We are doing them for the boys in suits so h2b, best man, FIL, my brother and my step dad and probably my dad. Then corsages for my mum, MIL, SIL, and my granny. My step-sister is a bridesmaid so probably don't need one for her :)

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  10.  
    • TeresaC54
      CommentAuthorTeresaC54
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Just for the wedding party for us - one of my friends asked for a buttonhole - I was a bit taken aback and didn't know quite what to say O_o If she has one then EVERYONE would have to have one! #awkward
  11.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
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    Don't let anyone dictate to you what you should or shouldn't have at your wedding.

    We had a church wedding, the only people we provided button holes for were the groomsmen, my dad and FIL. We also only paid for bouquets for the bridesmaids and flower girl.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  12.  
    • GemmaB596
      CommentAuthorGemmaB596
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 27th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for your replies, everybody. It certainly makes me feel better to see that everybody is saying they are only providing them for the wedding party. I know my family's trying to be helpful but it is getting quite frustrating being told of all the other things we need to think about/arrange when we haven't even considered it!
  13.  
    • CommentAuthorMidgetGem89
      Posted: Sep 28th 2014
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    If your not considering it its nit important to u unless suggested and u think yes i like that idea or yes i want that. Dont let people try push or sway u :-) its your wedding. U dnt need the extra expense.. ive never been to a weddimg where any1 other than wedding party wore them but i have heard.of 1 or 2 as i say :-)

    I think it makes the important/ involved people stand out :-) xx
  14.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 28th 2014
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    I would absolutely not be paying for a buttonhole for every guest! I've never heard of that 'tradition' and I honestly don't think anybody would expect one unless they were in the wedding party.

    We are only providing them for the men in suits (H2B and 2 best man have a nicer one to separate them from others, then standard buttonholes for mine and OH's dads, and the 2 ushers which is mine and his brother)

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  15.  
    • bride2b90
      CommentAuthorbride2b90
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 28th 2014
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    At the end of the day its personal choice, me and my partner have just come home from my cousins wedding who had button holes, It did not make a bit of difference to us whether we had them and I certainly will not be wasting money on them that I could be spending on something else! waste of money if you ask me. We are going traditional church wedding, if people want a flower in their pocket they can pick on on the way in from the church as i certainly am not funding it! x

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    I met my soul mate in school, after chasing him for 18months
    We got together 15th September 06,
    We celebrated our son Jacob 29th October 10,
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  16.  
    • barbie86
      CommentAuthorbarbie86
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Sep 29th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    At ours the only people with button-holes were the groom, best man, 3 ushers, fathers of the bride and groom, and then the mothers had corsages. At £5 a pop for the button-holes and £8 for the corsages, no way in h3ll were we going to provide them for every guest.

    We did actually have one guest complain that she hadn't been given one (my godmother); however, she also complained that there was no seating for the drinks reception (we had the entire hotel which included 2 areas full of seating), that the string trio was 'too loud' (again, drinks and canapes were being served throughout the ground floor, so there were plenty of other places she could have gone; we had it laid out like that precisely for that reason), that the music in the evening was 'too loud' (you couldn't hear the band from the bar area at all), that the best man bought her husband a large whisky which got him drunk... I could go on.

    I found that incredibly cheeky given that the cost of food and drink alone came to £150 a head. I was astounded she would expect a button-hole TBH. Yeah, I can understand everyone having one if you have a tiny wedding like my parents did (14 inc them). But when you're talking 50+ guests that's just a ridiculous expectation.

    PS. excuse the rant/digression ;-)
  17.  
    • CarrieD26
      CommentAuthorCarrieD26
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Sep 29th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It a tough lesson to learn that we can't please everyone. It seems no matter what we do, someone is going to be unhappy about something!!
  18.  
    • sALLY
      CommentAuthorsALLY
      Posted: Oct 5th 2014
     
    Our button holes are £6-£7 so providing for everyone is alot.
    we are just doing groom, bestman, pageboy and father of the bride and groom
 
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