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Wedding Forum - Bridezilla moment , others getting engaged...

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  1.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    Hi all ,
    I am having a mini bridezilla moment and I really wish I wasn't !
    Basically a close relative had got engaged and I am happy for them BUT here comes the bridezilla bit .... I'm worried it will be close to my wedding and will take my thunder .

    This person has been with their partner for over 10 years and apparently her partner never wanted to get married but she always had , since I've been engaged family have mentioned how jealous she was I had gotten engaged and apparently had been pushing more about marriage .

    This person is a step cousin and we really do get on so much so we see each other as real family . My step mum doesn't have kids and as my mum passed away I have started including my step mum in plans and even started arranging trips to dress shop near where this cousin (her neice) lives and mentioned about a certain wedding show which my step mum said to invite cousin too , this part I don't mind but I am feeling like the special dress shop might suddenly turn into cousin shopping trip .

    Sorry if it not making sense I'm typing on my phone and just feel awful even thinking like this :(

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  2.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I am a little calmer this morning than I was last night but still worrying about the dress shopping . I get anxiety about certain stuff and my logical side is saying that's what it is but at the same time it's got me on a downer :(

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  3.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
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    Could you turn it into a positive thing and plan your weddings together?

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  4.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all. I would feel the exact same as you and I'm sure the majority of us would feel like that.

    I think it would be nice to go to the wedding show together but I would draw the line at dress shopping together - equally though, I'm sure your cousin would also prefer to do this separately, as she's going to be sharing her limelight as well? I would just make it clear from the off that you don't want to combine dress shopping xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  5.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I know exactly how you feel! I am the first one of my friends to get engaged and we have already sparked some interesting conversations between couples that have been together a lot longer than we have!

    My other fear is a wedding we are going to in September, h2b is friends with the groom, and I am paranoid the bride will have chosen the same dress as mine. I have no idea why as we are very different in both shape and size and style, but I'm still really worried!

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  6.  
    • Teresa
      CommentAuthorTeresa
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Its understandable you are anxious about this,I wold chat to your cousin, sound excited, im sure you are really, you may feel better if they arnt planing to marry till after yours, i would go to the wedding show with her ask her questions about it, you may be able to support each other,I wouldn't want to go dress shopping with her in tow either, if you have already arranged this then she cant just tag along, its a very private thing choosing a dress,she may not even be planning to mary just ye as t costs lots of money so find out what her plans are first then, see how you feel, in the mean time we are here to listen, so you can vent to us xxxx
  7.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think you are handling it really well. I think it is natural to feel a bit worried about it, but you are admitting to yourself that you can't blame her or anyone else for the situation. At least you are happy for them, I have seen people in similar situations who have kicked off majorly ect. about it.

    Just do as others have suggested and put a positive spin on it, do some weddingy things together but also keep somethings just for you




  8.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
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    Thanks all :)

    I brought it up today to my dad explaining how I felt and how I would be ok with her at wedding show and of course talking general wedding stuff but was worried if we went dress shopping it would suddenly turn into her dress day !
    Speaking to H2B he expects them to be 2016 the earliest and that I should just say no if they ask about inviting her to dress shop by saying I only want limited people to see dress once I find it which is the truth .

    I will chat to my cousin too once she returns to the UK :)

    Thanks for listening guys I was worried I was being a right bridezilla and freaking out lol xx

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  9.  
    • Linzi-jo
      CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 4th 2014
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      edited
     
    I personally would say definitely don't take her dress shopping! Just say its something you want to do just with your step mum. I say this because when my bridesmaids came to see my dress when it had came into the shop I came out of the dressing room and they weren't there. My friend had got engaged and they had gone to look at dresses on the rack for her instead which was quite hurtful for me, and that wasn't even my actual shopping trip! Xxx

    Members signature icon
    Got together 14.02.2008
    Got engaged 31.12.2010
    Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
  10.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    I know exactly how you feel. My sister got engaged exactly a month after us (Her H2b had it planned for moths and my Oh being spontaneous beat him to it lol)

    My sister is the 'for want of a better word' selfish one she sees something she wants she gets it without thinking about what others may want. that being said she did come dress shopping with me on her own and was fantastic, she feel though that she cant plan her wedding properly until all mine is sorted and I was worried she would jump in and steal my ideas. We have booked some of the same suppliers like Videographer same cake lady she will visit my bridesmaid dress shop for her bridal gown and BM dresses because she liked what she saw im not bothered as long as its not the same dresses which it wont be as she knows what ive got and wants different.

    If its a really close cousin speak to her find out when she is thinking abou tgetting married my sister gets married 8 and a half months after me and is finding it difficult helping me with mine when she should be concentrating on her own (Which I totally agree with) but she is sorting my hen do out and then cracking on with her own plans and we will be involved with each others planning.

    Im not looking forward to it getting nearer my wedding and sorting things for both but that's how she feels at the minute and we will do our bests for each other xx

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  11.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    Linzi-jo that is my fear and I'm sorry it happened to you . I have to say I went for 1st dress shop with MOH and beat mate and MOH was recently engaged and I mentioned if she wanted to look around it fine but she said it was my day and wanted to help me out and also she could see how it worked by watching me lol

    Elizabeth I think the good thing is my cousin lives 4 hrs away so a lot of stuff we won't have the same and I think once dates are discussed I will be a bit calmer :)

    My problem and it isn't obvious is a few years ago I suffered a head injury and since then where as I used to be able to bite my tongue and smile now the polite filter is not always there and either my face says how annoyed I am or the words come out which can be quite harsh and to stop this I try to remove myself from stressful stuff and this seems to be just throwing myself into a stress situation !

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  12.  
    • Linzi-jo
      CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    Sorry to hear about your head injury Hun, don't put yourself in a situation that is going to make you feel stressed. I'm sure your cousin will understand, you could always take her to see the dress after you have bought it and she could help you pick a veil, shoes etc instead? Xxx

    Members signature icon
    Got together 14.02.2008
    Got engaged 31.12.2010
    Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
  13.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    Thanks hun :) I am hoping we can have our wedding bond at the wedding show :) x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  14.  
    • Mrs Carver 2B
      CommentAuthorMrs Carver 2B
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I can totally understand how you feel! We're planning our wedding for 2016 (only been engaged a month) and now the best man wants to propose to his OH which is lovely and in happy for them but I really don't want him to yet because I don't want them wedding planning at the same time because I don't want us to end up with the same ideas and to be honest I think I could get a little jealous which sounds awful I know but I just want this day to be perfect and don't want to be comparing it in the day to their plans xx
  15.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think the dress shopping experience should be personal to you and then personal to her, so don't think she should come on your dress shopping, I only took my moh as didn't want lots of differing opinions so I think it's a good excuse to get a bit of 'you' time x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
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  16.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    yeah you are bridezilla lol

    I've been married 3 months now and my sis got engaged Friday, I'm made up for them... Keep the dress shopping personal to you, people get engage all the time and why should they not get engaged just because you have?! Crazy...

    Every wedding is different, my friend married yesterday and her brother last Wednesday! Two totally different days, colours, venues etc

    Good luck

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  17.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    Ha thanks all :)

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  18.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
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    If she isn't part of your bridal party then just don't involve her in anything, no drss shopping and don't discuss details so she can't copy or steal your ideas, just treat her like any other guest and don't tell her anything, the day should be a surprise.

    I hope that you can enjoy the wedding fayre.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  19.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 5th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Thanks hun x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
 
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