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Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid Problems...

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  1.  
    • RachelH6706
      CommentAuthorRachelH6706
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
     
    I have recently had a massive falling out with one of my bridesmaids. This happened before but I sorted the issue out (She's very demanding and doesn't like it that all of my attention is on my future husband and not her)

    I don't think we're going to make up by the wedding which is in August next year (this falling out was THAT bad).

    I'm worried she will try to regain my friendship nearer the time of the wedding so she can still attend but I have discussed with my partner that I don't feel like I would want her there as of all the trouble she has caused. And if she was to attend I wouldn't want her to be a bridesmaid. Last time we fell out then made up again she automatically assumed that she would just be a bridesmaid still and that I would be paying for her dress.
  2.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'm not quite sure what you are asking? From what I can tell going on what you've said, I would say no bridesmaid and no invite if it's that bad what she's done. I wouldn't feel comfortable having someone there that has caused so much trouble and feels that she demands more attention than the bridal couple.

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  3.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
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    You have over a year to go, don't make any drastic decisions about attendance etc.

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  4.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I would just wait and see how it goes. You don't need to make any decisions about anything right now... if it turns out you get close again she doesn't have to be a bridesmaid. She can just come as a guest if that's what you'd want. There is nothing to fret about right now though, just see what happens and make any decisions as and when you need to.

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  5.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    OK going though this you have said .....

    i don't think we are going to make up ........ do you want to ?
    I don't feel like I would want her there .......this indicates that you might want her there ,so is this you reaction at this moment ?
    And if she was to attend I wouldn't want her to be a bridesmaid........ so you might want to come as a guest ?

    being that you have over a year to go my advice would be to do nothing at the moment ... you need time to process the cause of your fall out ... DO NOT contact her .

  6.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    I think even if you do make up between now and then, I wouldn't have her as a bridesmaid. It can be very stressful planning a wedding, and I wouldn't want it constantly at the back of my mind whether she was going to fall out again or get jealous of my fiance etc. Only you know what your gut instinct about it all is really, but if it were me, I'd have her on my invitiation list in pencil (keeping a rubber close by :) ). Our invites didn't go out until a few months before the wedding, and we changed our invite list a few times in the run up to them being sent out.
  7.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    This sounds very much like my relationship with my sister. Before my OH and I even got engaged I knew she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid simply because she falls out with me all the time if she doesn't get her way or if I don't agree with her on some subjects. Deep down I also knew she would be someone I would be paranoid about the whole day of my wedding and I would constantly be stressing.

    Then one night. She blew up big time over my opinion on a widely popular book. Like hiroshima sorta level. Saw my opinion, and that of my cousin and afew friends, and saw it as a personal attack against her. I received a string of abuse and then told what she thought of me, my wedding and where I could shove it.

    Instantly I felt like a HUGE weight had lifted. Ever since my aunt has, in good intentions, tried to reconcile my sister and I but I have made it very clear that any reconciliation will not be happening until after the wedding. This is not out of spite but because I want to actually enjoy my day with it being, yes, about me and my OH and I know my sister will likely try and do something to take away from that.

    Go with what you want.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
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  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jul 27th 2015
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    I agree with Lala. Give it some time before making any decisions.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

 
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