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Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid making it all about her...

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    • AmandaS911
      Getting married in 2 months
      Posted: Mar 15th 2020

    I'm not really sure where to start but i'm getting a bit tired of my bridesmaid being a bit selfish. it started with her dress months ago, i told her the look i wanted and she started sending me links to cheap dresses (which looked shoddy made) and asking if this was ok would she buy it. in the end i bought her dress so i could get a good quality dress and the look i wanted.

    Then the hen do came round. I told her who i wanted and to make it a surprise. Turns out that she made the group chat and more or less got another two of my friends (only known them both for 2 years compared to 22 years i've known bridesmaid) to plan evrything. Day turned out to be a bit of a let down, put me on a coach (i don't travel well on coaches and was nearly sick 20 mins into journey) bridesmaid got lost and then announced i've got the itinerary i was hoping you two would know where you were going. Didn't keep time well and ended up having to split up and get taxis to race to the next thing. next thing was fun. then drinks, then dinner, then home in my bed with a cup of tea by 11pm (thoroughly dissappointed, hoping to be out dancing all night!)

    now my mum has organised a party for the older aunts, cousins, grannys etc that weren't invited to the main event and my bridesmaid is saying that she's not coming to the activity £15 cocktail making and £25 for two course meal but she might catch us up for drinks after the meal - i feel like telling her not to bother :(

    top it off, she keeps asking me to remind her of important things like when the rehearsal is and that she's staying at my house the night before the wedding! (this is becoming the straw that broke the camel's back she keeps saying to make sure there's a bottle of tequila behind the bar so she can get us shots - i don't really want my wedding to be another piss up so i've actually gone the other way and asked the venue for no tequila on site).

    I feel really selfish for not being grateful that she organised a day out for me and i know money is an issue. should i confront her or let it go?
    • DGloomS563
      Getting married in 14 months
      Posted: May 26th 2020
    To be honest she doesn't sound like she's being very helpful and seems to be having issues with the money side of things, I would just have a chat with her, tell her that your not comfortable about the whole tequila thing and just ask if everything is okay, tell her your feelings, she might be unaware that she's making you feel so glum, if she's a sincere friend she will understand.
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