FREE Wedding Table Planner

+ FREE Wedding Budget Planner and more wedding planning tools

Join now free to use

Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid Issue...

Not signed in (Sign In)

UKbride Supermarket


* Discount available to Power Users only. Terms and conditions apply. more

  1.  
    • RachelE293
      CommentAuthorRachelE293
      Posted: May 23rd 2016
      edited
     
    Hi so could do with some help on this one please, I asked someone to be a bridesmaid that I thought was a good friend and at the time was really excited about my wedding and being a bridesmaid. I've now found that she's gotten really spiteful and said some very nasty things and even been scheming and talking behind my back, because she's jealous of something positive in my life she could also have had but opted for something else instead. She's been really manipulative and only talked to me when she's needed something from me. This isn't someone I want around on my wedding day, the rest of my party are really close and she doesn't fit the bill, I feel like ultimately she'd make things difficult on purpose as a result of this jealousy.

    As I have about 2 years before my wedding, can I just not talk to her, phase her out and 'forget' to invite her? I don't want to start something but I really don't want her in either.
  2.  
    • SusanM34
      CommentAuthorSusanM34
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 23rd 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Just talk to her and see where that takes you. You can't make a proper decision until you have as you could always be left thinking 'what if?' with whichever decision you make. x

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!


  3.  
    • RachelE293
      CommentAuthorRachelE293
      Posted: May 23rd 2016
     
    Thanks, but I know for sure I don't want her in, it's been going on for a while and though we're not having an outward argument she's been truly awful whenever this thing comes up, and pretending to be mates when she needs something. I'll be seeing her around so don't want to kick something off, but also need to get her out of the party. I don't know, how would I approach that? I'm not great working things like this out, I don't know how I'd bring it up without starting an argument. x
  4.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 23rd 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    You do need to tell her that she's no longer invited, you can't just 'forget' to invite her.
    If this thing she is being horrible about is that bad you need to straight up tell her. Unfortunately it sounds like one of those things that is going to fester unless you tackle it head on.
  5.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 23rd 2016
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    In fairness, we had a similar situation... Not that she was being horrible like yourse but she was never interested, never spoke to us so when it came round to BM dress shopping and invites we just didn't say anything and we haven't spoken in years. She never even made contact, bothering asking how we were/wedding plans going or anything so it clearly didn't bother her that much. Saying that though, you can't just leave your situation as it needs dealing with asap as she is poisonous and tuning the wedding! X

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  6.  
    • CommentAuthorSamanthaW362
      Posted: May 24th 2016
      BadgeBadge
     
    uh, thats bad, i think better you search another friend to be your bridesmaid
  7.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 24th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I maybe wouldn't say she is no longer invited but I would maybe confront her about the things that have been going on and say in light of that you think it best she is not a bm anymore and just a guest. Then I would see how things go after that and if she isn't in your life when you are sorting guests then theres your answer. x

    Members signature icon
    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  8.  
    • Shellbell
      CommentAuthorShellbell
      Got married 31 months ago
      Posted: May 24th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    The best thing to do is talk to her. Just tell her you know about the horrible things she's been saying behind your back and that you don't feel its appropriate for her to be your bridesmaid. x

    Met 2004 lost contact after a few years
    Met again 2013
    Engaged July 6th 2016
    Married July 14th 2018
  9.  
    • RachelE293
      CommentAuthorRachelE293
      Posted: May 24th 2016
     
    Okay so definitely talk to her, what I'm worried about there is that she'll apologise for it all and say we're all good now and expect to still be in the party? If we're all good can I really tell her she's still out?
  10.  
    • RachelE293
      CommentAuthorRachelE293
      Posted: May 24th 2016
     
    Also thank you so much everyone, this is so stressful and I really appreciate you sharing your view xx
  11.  
    • CommentAuthorNicolaB7220
      Posted: May 24th 2016
      BadgeBadge
     
    I definitely think you should face the issue and speak with her. Tell her you know what she's been saying and you find it very hurtful and for that reason she should no longer be part of your bridal party. If she has an issue with it, then it's clearly her problem and you would probably be better off without someone like that in your life anyway.
 
Enter Now