Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid Issue...

Hi so could do with some help on this one please, I asked someone to be a bridesmaid that I thought was a good friend and at the time was really excited about my wedding and being a bridesmaid. I've now found that she's gotten really spiteful and said some very nasty things and even been scheming and talking behind my back, because she's jealous of something positive in my life she could also have had but opted for something else instead. She's been really manipulative and only talked to me when she's needed something from me. This isn't someone I want around on my wedding day, the rest of my party are really close and she doesn't fit the bill, I feel like ultimately she'd make things difficult on purpose as a result of this jealousy.

As I have about 2 years before my wedding, can I just not talk to her, phase her out and 'forget' to invite her? I don't want to start something but I really don't want her in either.

Thanks, but I know for sure I don't want her in, it's been going on for a while and though we're not having an outward argument she's been truly awful whenever this thing comes up, and pretending to be mates when she needs something. I'll be seeing her around so don't want to kick something off, but also need to get her out of the party. I don't know, how would I approach that? I'm not great working things like this out, I don't know how I'd bring it up without starting an argument. x

In fairness, we had a similar situation... Not that she was being horrible like yourse but she was never interested, never spoke to us so when it came round to BM dress shopping and invites we just didn't say anything and we haven't spoken in years. She never even made contact, bothering asking how we were/wedding plans going or anything so it clearly didn't bother her that much. Saying that though, you can't just leave your situation as it needs dealing with asap as she is poisonous and tuning the wedding! X

I maybe wouldn't say she is no longer invited but I would maybe confront her about the things that have been going on and say in light of that you think it best she is not a bm anymore and just a guest. Then I would see how things go after that and if she isn't in your life when you are sorting guests then theres your answer. x

Okay so definitely talk to her, what I'm worried about there is that she'll apologise for it all and say we're all good now and expect to still be in the party? If we're all good can I really tell her she's still out?

I definitely think you should face the issue and speak with her. Tell her you know what she's been saying and you find it very hurtful and for that reason she should no longer be part of your bridal party. If she has an issue with it, then it's clearly her problem and you would probably be better off without someone like that in your life anyway.