I have a question - Is it acceptable to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their dresses? Or is it rude?
I have 4 bridesmaids and 3 of them are fine with it but the other (who is my sister) isn't so keen and doesn't want to pay. I'm unsure on what to do.
CommentAuthorFlossie
I think if you've asked them to be bridesmaids you should be prepared for some element of the costs... I bought the girls' dresses but am asking them to sort their own shoes. They're doing their own hair and make up on the day but I did also say if they wanted it done professionally they would need to pay xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorEmily17
I agree with Flossie. and that's what we've decided. We will pay for dress but the rest they can do what they want
I also think that if you want to specify that they all have the same hair style, shoes etc you should pay for that too
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
I'm the same as Flossie, I'll be buying there dresses and I'm doing custom converse daps for the evening do but when it comes to hair, make up and nails they're doing there own or if they want it professionally they will have to pay themselves. I'll most prob get their shoes for the day as well xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorLouiseS89
I had the same question when i first joined this website.
I asked them to be my bridesmaids so therefore i should pay for their dresses. My auntie wont let me pay for my cousins dress though she says that she wants to pay for it, i told her i don't mind paying as i'm paying for my other 3 bridesmaid dresses but she wouldn't listen so i guess i cant stop her.
Personally I, my sister and best mate believe if you ask them to be bridesmaids then you should foot the cost of their dresses, especially if you're choosing the style and colour and it's an obvious bridesmaid dress so they're unlikely to be able to wear it again. Bridesmaids may not be able to afford a dress too. However it is reasonable to ask them to provide their own shoes if you don't mind them not matching. Then there is jewellery and hair and makeup to consider. Again this depends on how fussed you are about a specific look and matching.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
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CommentAuthorBecci93
I'm paying for everything for my bridesmaids purely because I want them to feel fantastic on our big day too but it is common for bridesmaids to be asked to pay for they're own shoes or other aspects; it depends on your budget, if you simply can't budget it and they are a good friend they should not have an issue with buying they're own dress they should still see it as an honour that you want them to be part of your big day.
I have said though that of possible I would like my bridal party to join me on a week in the sun a couple of weeks before the wedding which would be for them to pay for if they'd like to come but that's totally optional for them.
I wouldn't worry about it if it is just one bridesmaid; as long as you feel that if someone asked you to be bridesmaid and buy your own dress and you wouldn't mind then that's fine; its your day and your money.. I'm sure she'll want to keep the dress after the wedding so it's not unreasonable to ask for her to buy her own or make a contribution
CommentAuthorSam G 2b May 2016
My best friend got married a few years ago and we paid for our own dresses BUT she organised the wedding in 6 weeks so we got £40 dresses from the high street which I was more than willing to pay for as it wasn't a big wedding and very informal and intimate. However my bridesmaid dresses cost £180 each which I would not have expected my friends to pay for. My mum bought my sister's and my sister-in-law to be bought her own, I bought my two friends' dresses xx
CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
edited
I personally don't agree with it but if you do decide to go down that route, make it clear when asking them that they need to buy their own dress, shoes, etc. We have paid for everything for our bridesmaids from their dresses, jewellery, even their nails as we feel that as we have asked them we should cover all costs. Just to add they had full say in everything, they picked their dress, they picked their shoes (they have different shoes but in the same colour), they decided on french manicure nails, they have picked the hairstyle they will be having. I don't agree with people that pay for everything but the bridesmaids have no say, so they end up in a dress that doesn't suit them, shoes that hurt, etc.
CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
I have bought my 4 BM's dresses but I have asked them to buy their own shoes, for budget reasons and also because I don't want to tell them what shoes they have to wear as I know they will all want something different. I will be paying for their hair and make up too so they don't have much to pay themselves xx
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Got engaged on 25th December 2013
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CommentAuthorSarah D
Its defo personal choice, I have the dresses and shoes and will also be paying for hair and make up on the day, I wouldn't want them struggling to pay for things and I feel as my bridesmaids then we should cover the cost xx
Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016
CommentAuthorFlossie
I think the main thing is to just give them plenty of notice if you will be expecting them to pay for something. My girls have had 18 months - 24 months notice about their shoes and their hair/make up if they want that professionally done - as it turns out they're not bothered and are going to do their own on the day. I have told them they can choose their own shoes as long as they are nude so they will be something they will be able to wear again after the wedding x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I paid for the dresses, but let them wear whatever shoes they wanted so that they could wear what they already had. I figured the dresses were long enough that the shoes wouldn't show. I also let them decide on their own hair styles, as they all had such different hair anyway, so that they could choose to do their own. I gave them the option of paying to have my hairdresser do their hair and/or make-up, but they all did their own.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
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