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Wedding Forum - BIL problems...

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    • Ellie95
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 9th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    Hi Everyone,

    My Partners family have always had problems with the eldest son, he's not a very nice person, for example he's stole from the and blackmails them with not seeing the grandchild if they don't shrug off the stunts he pulls, etc.

    Well my partner and I grin are bared him until about a month or so ago, (bare in mind that I work at his Parents business) out of now where in the office he kicks off at me, calls me vulgar words, and makes up lots stuff about how his family don't like me which i know isn't true.
    the Parents in law typically let him get away with it cause of blackmail AGAIN. and the other week while I was working at home he's gone onto my work pc and gone through my messages and my security settings on facebook which I'm fuming about and typically he's got away with it again! :@

    My OH and I have agreed that he's no longer welcome at our house, and we don't want him at the Wedding, but I'm worried that his parents might be miffed about it, I definitely don't want him there and I did say when he first kicked off that he won't be there and his FIL said thats fine, I think the FIL will be okay with it as he's now thinking the BIL is trying to ruin the business, but the MIL, no matter what he does she's going to forgive because he's her first child....

    HELP? xoxo

    Members signature icon
    Met May 2013
    Engaged December 2015
    Getting Married 22nd June 2018! <3
    • Flossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Mar 9th 2016
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    It sounds like you have every right to not want to invite him to your wedding! Just because your MIL lets him get away with everything doesn't mean that you should do the same - you are an adult with your own mind and are entitled to do as you please without having to answer to anyone else. I would do what YOU want to and what will make you happy without worrying about pleasing other people. If your MIL is upset by your decision then that's her problem and she needs to deal with that herself. It sounds like your BIL has had more chances than he deserves anyway.

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Mar 9th 2016
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    It's very complex when someone is a parent of a really difficult person, as you can't help but love them when it's your kid. You can only do what you feel is right for your wedding, and explain to the parents why you've made that decision. If they're not happy about it, there is nothing you can do. Ultimately MIL is going to have to realised what he's doing, otherwise he sounds like the kind of guy who will leave them destitute. Until she sees it though there's nothing you can do, and it's not your problem. Hopefully she will ultimately learn that it is possible to love someone and hate what they do at the same time. My best friend was in that position with her daughter for a while, but fortunately the daughter has come through it and is now a lovely girl.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

    • Emily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Mar 9th 2016
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    You are well within your rights to want to cut him out of the wedding etc. By the sounds of it he has had more than enough chances from all the family.
    You cannot change how you MIL feels towards him but she should respect your decisions as she has seen first hand what he is capably of.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
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