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  1.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    So the best man and I have never got on. EVER.
    I was willing to put differences aside for the sake of my h2b and let this idiot be his best man.
    I dont know wether to bore you with the details but it will help you understand why we dont get on....
    He has always hated me. I dont know if it was a jealousy thing like i was taking his friend away or something but he just hated me. He started messaging me dirry things on line in hope that i would sway from my partner... I told my h2b at the time and just told me to ignore him.
    He has repeatedly. Ome between us. Telling my paryner to end things with me because im a cheat and il break his heart etc.
    Just perry things that built up over the years and in recent uears had the audacity to call me a 'fat c-word' because u answered my paetners phone when he was driving.

    All in all i cannot stand this man... My h2b has always let it slide as qe never actually see one another and apparently this is just how this guy is. (excuses basically)

    Now me being ne have never ranted and raved about him to anyone apart from a couple of girl friwnds so people dont aee the fact me letting him be best man as really putting myself out there for my partners sake. I told h2b that i dodnt want him naking him a speech as he has nothing nice to say and the fact i genuinely cannot trust him to not embarass me in front of everyone.

    This guy has a new gf and of course shes waded in and told him not to be best man because its not fair for me to ask him not to make a speech.
    Now my partner is left with no best man as his other friend wont do it as he doesnt want to be in the middle of conflict.

    I feel so sad that i started all this business.... Ive really let my h2b down and its only 13days tocgo until the big day.

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    Met 2004
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  2.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Sorry to hear this.

    His so called mate is a 5h1t, I hope your h2b is okay as it must be hard for him too. Does he have a family member who could step in?

    This guy stepping down is actually a good thing, it means you won't have someone you can't stand or trust taking such a responsible role on your big day.

    Hope it all works itself out x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  3.  
    • MrsPrestleton2be
      CommentAuthorMrsPrestleton2be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 3rd 2016
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    Does h2b have a brother or a father who could be best man? Thank the lord he had stepped down as like you said if he had nothing nice to say then what's the point. How your hubby can sort a best man soon

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    met 2008
    Engaged 2010
    Married 16th September 2016
    I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
  4.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    First of Stephanie dont blame yourself! You have been more than reasonable in this situation, and h2b is lucky you even accepted him been best man, this is NOT your fault and you havent let him down!!!

    Does H2B have another groomsman/usher who can step up? Or one of his friends who went on his stag could possibly step up? H2B can tell them there doesnt need to be any conflict. Its the best mans decision to step down. What an arse by the way, thats no true friend!!

    There are plenty of weddings where only the couples and or the couples family make speeches so i dont see what he is getting so worked up about. xx

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  5.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    He is obviously doing this just to throw another spanner in the works and try and ruin it for you both, so mean!!! Try to rise above i9t and not show him that you two are bothered. Cant believe someone can be so nasty so close to your big day! (im angry for you can you tell lol)

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  6.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    Yes I agree that you have not let OH down it is his do called best mate- are they still coming to the wedding? (Hopefully not)

    I'm sure your OH can find someone else- I know it's short notice but there must be someone else who can be trusted

    Hope you get it sorted xx

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  7.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yes hes still coming to the wedding which just makes me feel so mad inside.

    OH asked his.other.friend last night to step in but he wouldnt do it. To be fair there is only 13days to the wedding and he seemed to be in the mind set of just enjoying the day as apposed to the responsibility which is fair enough.
    I feel awful. If id have just kept my mouth shut abd acted like everything was ok he would still have a best man. I feel so sorry for OH..... It has just come at the worst time.

    He said this morning he was just going to ask his Dad.

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    Met 2004
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  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    Don't blame yourself, that guy is a total 5h1t and tbh I wouldn't have him or his gf at the wedding at all.

    Fingers crossed his dad will do it.

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    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  9.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    Yeah I'm with IDL- why should he still come to the wedding- surely OH ca. Now see what I true best mate man he is!

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  10.  
    • FayeJ67
      CommentAuthorFayeJ67
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Id turn round and say either he comes as best man or he doesnt come at all.
    I realy do think you need to sit down with your OH and open his eyes about just how unacceptable this friends behavior is and just how nasty the guy is.
    Unfortunately i do think i would have issued an ultimatum long ago! Your OH needs to start putting your feelings first over those of the friends

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  11.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    Fingers crossed that his dad will step in

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  12.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    Too right. How dare he put all this last minute pressure on you both. He already got his own way with the stag, why should he even be allowed to come to the wedding with the way he is been!

    You would have thought him getting a new girlfriend would have made him more understanding and helpful in your relationship and wedding.

    Glad his dad will be there for him as best man :)

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
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    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  13.  
    • MrsPrestleton2be
      CommentAuthorMrsPrestleton2be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    I wouldn't have him at the wedding at all either! If he can't be respectful to you then there is no way he would be going!

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    met 2008
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    Married 16th September 2016
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  14.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Im so glad you ladies are understanding, unfortunately my OH isnt the same. He's the peace keeper and will often avoid confrontation with people his "friend" and me have always been and will always be at logger heads. I do often ask him cut cut ties with him but for some odd reason he keeps him around.
    Now I just go along with the whole so long as hes not around my children and me im not bothered kind of attitude.

    Personally I dont think he will show up to the wedding, which I'll be happy about and will also give me more ammunition for OH to cut ties with this fool once and for all.

    Im heartbroken for OH, it feels like a kick in the man bits for him but internally I'm glad to have his Dad do it.

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    Met 2004
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    Getting Married 2016
  15.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
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    Your OH seriously needs to man up and grow a pair! He was a complete [email protected] re the stag - put through hell and now wants to keep the peace- seriously is this man for real- this mate is nothing more than a jealous child who can't stand to see happiness

    I really hope the moron doesn't turn up!

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  16.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Its good to feel like im not alone with this michelle. My friends have said tge exact same things to me this evening.

    Thing is the only person i crave to understand is the one person who doesnt. Its really starting to get to me.

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  17.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
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    He is obviously blind sighted and is use to constantly making excuses for his friend.. Hopefully if he doesnt turn up then your H2B will maybe finally see your side! x

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
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  18.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
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    Thanks MrsC2be, your words do ease my worried little soul xx

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    Met 2004
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  19.  
    • StaceyH989
      CommentAuthorStaceyH989
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    So sorry this happened to you and your OH Steph and such a short time from your wedding as well. I really do agree with the other brides, he really isn't worth the stress. I get on with the OH best man but there are sometimes when he can be a dick. Fingers crossed now though your day runs as perfectly as it can. I would have taken the invite off him and his girlfriend they obviously don't appreciate what the day means for you as a couple. I do hope this will help your partner realise what he is like <3 xx
  20.  
    • FayeJ67
      CommentAuthorFayeJ67
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Put your foot down girl!
    The ex best man doesnt deserve to be at your wedding and your OH is burying his head in the sand. If he cannot see that this guy is an idiot and would rather seriously upset you over upsetting a guy who has repeatedly let him down then are you sure you are doing the right thing in marrying him?

    A marriage has to be based on compromise yes, but that means compromise on by both people not just by you! it is also a promise to put each other first which your OH is currently unwilling to do.

    maybe print this thread off and hand it to your OH. then tell him he needs to do some serious thinking!

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  21.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We've got two children together, I would never consider leaving the father of my children/the man who when all is said and done I love to the moon and back over some petty idiot with a jealousy problem.
    That being said I have told him and yesterday after many hour of arguing he said the words, "maybe I was blindisghted- giving him this chance to prove himself and he hasnt risen to the occasion. Everybody told me he would do this and he has"
    This seemed to end the argument, the fact he said it was enough for me.
    I have said if he turns up that he respectfully ask him to leave- that or my ex-military 6"4 brother can do it hahaha.

    Yes my OH is an idiot for sticking up for this tool but Im marrying him knowing he will always be the kind of man who would rather not get involved with frictions. He just needs to understand that this friend in particular is where I draw the line.

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  22.  
    • LaurenD45
      CommentAuthorLaurenD45
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
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    That's men for you, plain and simple.
    I would turn round and say that a friend let alone a best man wouldn't abandon him so close to the wedding.
    So what he can't give a speech...it's not his wedding?!! Surely his job is to support the groom and do as he is told. If my bridesmaids said that they wanted to do something that I didn't want them to do then they jacked it in at the last minute I'd be furious.
    Don't let the fool get his own way it's not his bloody wedding. Tell your h2b he's better off without
  23.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thank you Lauren!

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  24.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
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    Stephanie your OH obviously just tries to see the best in people and thats a good quilty to have (though annoying at times!!!) this will hopefully only make you 2 stronger and hopefully he will see that your opinion is always the right one in future haha!

    It sounds like he is already realising that his ex best man is abit of a n0b, better late than never. thisll obviously be a tough time for him as hes probably realising hes loosing his friend, so your been great supporting him and been there for him, most of us would have slapped H2B and ex best man a long time ago

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
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  25.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hahahahaha.

    Really cheered me up that post. Bahahaha:')

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  26.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: Sep 5th 2016
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    Yay finally he has seen the light! Hope he tells his ex mate to stay away!

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