Wedding Forum - Been put off having a Hen do

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  1.  
    • Hjessie
      CommentAuthorHjessie
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I went to a hen do this weekend and it has really put me off having one. There were 12 people going an i only knew the bride, everyone else knew each other. I am not shy or quiet or rude and made every effort whilst there. FIrst thing was going to the spa, all gathered into the jacquizzi and there was no room for me. THen went to have lunch and i firstly had to sit alone. Photos were being taken and i was in one in the background. Now i didnt moan or show upset as was not my day so please do not get me wrong. Later we went to recording studios and still even though i spoke to people i wasnt getting an answer and if i did it was a "oh my god your annoying" type response. Groups were formed to sing in and i had no one and had to jump in on one,group photos and i wasnt even seen. Then at the dog racing bride to be goes up to all guests but me to get photos. It was as if i wasnt there. Photos have been shared on fb and im in three all in background. After the dog racing we played card drinking games where one continued to tell me how shit i was at the game nad i was ruining it. Again i showed no remorse, stress or anger as was not my weekend but to see photos as if i wasnt there all weekend when it cost me £260 of money i dont have to go. THen i heard about a second hen do and asked about it anfd bride went "oh yeah you can come if you want" so i guess i never would have known if i hadnt overheard. anyway, hard to describe it but felt so lonely and like i was back in school as the unpopular kid. I cant do this to my friends as they dont know each other. Im best not having one i think as it was so lonely and i was forgotten about the whole time. Oh yeah and i sat alone a the dog racing as no one wanted to sit next to me so it was used as bag chair, instead of sitting next to me another chair was added to second table
  2.  
    • xMrsRobson2bx
      CommentAuthorxMrsRobson2bx
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    well it can be different for yours, you can introduce them to eachother over a girlie meal or drink before the hen do - so everyone has a chance to speak and get to know eachothers - thats what im doing over an ann summers party - getting all the girls around who are going on my hen do and making it as easy as possible for them - xxx

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  3.  
    • x~Hails~x
      CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hmmm see this is what im dreading
    My best friend lives 300 miles away so doesnt know anyone from round here, so ive told her she HAS to come see me before the hen for a GET TO KNOW my other friends night. This will be in my house so it doesnt feel awkward and hopefully friendships will be made so the hen night....basically the same as what you said above.....wont feel awkward on the night!!

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  4.  
    • Faeth
      CommentAuthorFaeth
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    To be honest, unless you treat any of your guests the way that bride treated you, your hen night would not be the same. You can't force people to get on, and there is always the risk of someone being a bit on the outside if they only know the bride, and the others know each other, but in that instance, the solution is just for the bride herself to make that person feel included. Your bride friend could have included you more, even if her friends didn't want to.

    Don't let it put you off, as I'm sure you would not behave in the same way with your friends :-)

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  5.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i have decided im not going to have one ... i was going to go to a show and then a meal ...but in the past few months people have shown themselves for what they are ....

    one "friend" got nasty and has pulled out of coming to america next year
    my "friends" i work with havent been bothered at all while i have been off work following my op .... so whwy oh whwy would i want to spend a night with them ?

  6.  
    • CommentAuthorloubyscooby
      BadgeBadge
     
    That sounds like a horrible experience and so rude of everyone. It can be difficult having different groups of people who have never met altogether but everyone should make an effort. Don't let it put off though and Im sure you would be a better "host" than your friend. The other guests were really unfriendly too, fancy not including you... I have 28 coming to my hen do and they are from 4 different circles of friends but instead of a long protracted day/weekend we are going out in the evening for a wine tasting event followed by dinner
  7.  
    • Hjessie
      CommentAuthorHjessie
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks guys, i would never behave like that. The most lonely bit was not being in any photos. I was never introduced to anyone either and only knew names because of the tshirts. Two of her bridesmaids didnt even go and i made speacial effort even though cost and saving for own wedding. But i saw it as i should go she is my friend and is my bridesmaid even though im not hers
  8.  
    • Hjessie
      CommentAuthorHjessie
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yeah i was thinking Show and then meal but at the moment im still feeling a bit sorry for myself. Its not so bad if i knew one other person. But it would have been nice for bride to maybe sit with me or oppostie me at meal, i know all want to be near the bride but i was billy no mates so it was harder. The obvious empty chair was chilling
  9.  
    • Hjessie
      CommentAuthorHjessie
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Soory wasnt on table completeley alone at dogs just empty seat between me and other person which felt weird
  10.  
    • Vicky
      CommentAuthorVicky
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think that bride behaviour is horrible, anyone that make another person feel left out is just not worth bothering about. As you said we are not scholl children and that behaviour is not right. You have a hen party and make everyone feel welcome. Its also nice then people will know more people at the wedding!!
  11.  
    • Hjessie
      CommentAuthorHjessie
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks, you know when they all said see you at the wedding i felt, OH GOD< i actually have to you all again, was soooo bad that i actually might go home after the wedding breakfast
  12.  
    • MrsC2B
      CommentAuthorMrsC2B
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    You poor thing. That sounds like an awful experience.
    Your hen do would never be like that as it'll be organised around you.
    xx
  13.  
    • Amy
      CommentAuthorAmy
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    That's awful! I really sympathise with you what a complete waste of flaming money, but I really only blame the hen- she should have made an effort to include everyone and introduce you. It may have been her day/night but on my hen I will include all and it's part of it making sure everyone else is enjoying themselves too. I wouldn't even have her at yours if she can be that dismissive.

    Take care x
  14.  
    • purpleme
      CommentAuthorpurpleme
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    that is really rude of them but urs doesnt have to be like that u could depending on where ur friends all live meet up somewhere before ur hen do so they all get to meet even if it just for a coffee or something then on the hen do they would of all ready met and know who people are
    well done on not saying anything to any of them for how they treated u xx

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  15.  
    • Ignition
      CommentAuthorIgnition
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    That is awful, but you could make sure things are so different for yours, make sure you talk to everyone and introduce everyone to each other, and do things where everyone has to get involved. Yours could be really different. xx

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