Wedding Forum - Bar tab thoughts and advice...

OK, so, we're putting a decent amount of money behind the bar: hopefully about £2.5k. However, we need to impose restrictions due to the cost of certain drinks at our venue (eg cocktails start at £9 each; some of the spirits cost £24 PER MEASURE (!), some of the wines cost around £100 a bottle... You get the idea.

Originally, we were going to offer beer, one of each type of wine (1 red, 1 white, 1 rose) in 175ml glasses, and some single spirits and mixers (basically the ones costing £6.25 or less). Problem is I went through the list and if we do that, we will need to provide menus of some form explaining that there is a limited tab, and what is and isn't available. I worry that this could get confusing for both the guests and the staff, and I'm also worried that people who don't usually bother with spirits will see that they're 'free' and order them for the sake of it. Further, only ONE guest (my MOH) will only drink spirits; everyone else will happily drink beer and wine. So it isn't like loads of people would be left feeling left-out, if that makes sense (and I'd give her money or a voucher with her gift to the tune of what most other people will get).

So, now we're wondering whether we should keep it simple and just offer beers, wines, and soft drinks. That way it's easy for the staff and guests, and it should also mean that the tab goes a lot further (I reckon it will easily last all night, probably with cash left over). If it's going a lot further than we thought, we can always then choose to open it up to more drinks if we want (we could have menus that reflect this as part of 'Plan B').

What does everyone think? I'm kind of torn. I would love to offer spirits and mixers as there are some people who prefer them, inc a couple of my best friends. At the same time, we're not forcing everyone to drink beer and wine; they can purchase other drinks if they want to (in fact I might try a couple of cocktails myself lol). What to do?!

maybe make it clear to the guests that they can only order 1 or 2 GLASSES of drink each to ensure everyone gets a drink. I know someone who put raffle tickets in the invites and they could exchange that for a drink on tab but once they'd used their tickets if they wanted more drink they had to pay. that way if people have tickets they're not going to use they can give them to other people who are - hope thats not too confusing :) x

My brother and his wife did beer and wine only but my dad likes a good whiskey and at some points they specifically asked for one or two for him from the staff x

I must say, there's no way I would set up a tab so you're being generous enough as it is! Our guests are just having the welcome drinks and to toast at the breakfast etc, just the average drinks package included in our package.

If you're wanting to include spirits, I woud probably have vodka, gin and rum sorta thing. Three most common or whatever you know your guests are more likely to drink. Then you coud have that with the beer and wine if thats what you want.

I would go with the beer, wine & soft drinks, with spirits I think people could take the pi55!! ie with the single unit only, whats to stop your guests ordering 3 vodkas with a dash of coke & then pouring them into 1 glass.

I would personally stick with the beer, wine & soft drink option otherwise it will just be too confusing and difficult to manage. We are thinking about doing this as well, but nowhere near the amount you are, but not 100% yet - depends on what's leftover with regards to budget.

why not do beer wine and a signature cocktail that has been made just for you

We're not doing a bar tab. There's unlimited wine provided with the meal, and afterwards people can get there own. There's one person we don't want to encourage to drink anyway.

lala and Mrs Cross: I had thought of signature cocktails, but cocktails at our venue start at £9 for something very simple, and go up to £14; so even if we had something at the lower end, it would still be very pricey ie the equivalent of 2 glasses of wine/2.5 pints of lager/cider/beer. So if we do spirits it def won't include cocktails of any form, it'd be limited to single spirits and mixers (which cost from £5.75 each, so, more reasonable!)

MrsManiatt: Yeah, we do trust our guests lol. There is no-one coming who will take the p*ss; I've been to events with fully-open bars with a similar crowd and if anything people were more restrained than they would have been if they were paying. So that is just not a concern of ours :-) Plus I tend to think if people are going to get sh*t faced they will regardless of whether they have to pay or not lol

you are being very generous :) do you have a drinks package as well or is the tab instead of a drinks package? Our drinks package is going to cost that alone so we're not doing a tab. xxx

lol fair enough, are you parents paying for the tab? Your drinks package sounds really good, there is a lot in it xxx

If it was me I would include the spirits and mixers and obv make sure you can't order doubles but thats cos I absolutely hate wine and beer and most of my friends only drink spirits. I would then make some menus with the drinks that they can choose

eg.

Please have a drink to celebrate on us!

wine
beer
vodka & mixer
jd & mixer
gin & mixer

and just keep it very limited....we are having a bar tab as well but luckily our venue doesn't have a huge selection! i don't think it matters if you just pick one spirit of each (the cheapest haha!)- if people are that bothered about the difference between vodka A and vodka B then they are fussy enough to pay for their own!

haha yeah i defo wouldn't be including the grey goose on there! i would just put the boring options on - smirnoff/bacardi blah blah blah i reckon people would just stick to what they would usually drink so if they are lager drinkers then thats what they would order i don't think people would change their drinking habits just for the sake of it but maybe thats just me. but i can see what you mean about the cost meaning the tab would go quicker...if your guests are generally beer/wine drinkers then maybe just limit it to that then as there won't really be anybody too bothered. first world problems indeed! :)

haha i would want a shot of gold for that money! :)

I would stick to beer, wine and soft drinks on the tab. It makes it easier for the bar staff to keep tabs on what is and isn't included.
Plus, you could always say that after 10pm (or something like that) the tab can include selected spirits.

Me and the hubby went to a wedding a year before we got married, and they had an open tab. People went crazy - seriously!
You say you don't have anyone like that, neither did this couple until the said "open bar". These were all middle class people, on really good salaries (doctors, geologists etc). Moral of the story, even the tame sensible people go crazy when drinks are free. For example; people were ordering cava-bombs (I'd never heard of them before), jager 'bombed' in cava :-S

It really opened up mine and the hubby's eyes. Because of this, we bought 2 casks of ale, and a load of white and red wine, and some port and baileys for our guests to help themselves to. The port and baileys was brought out for when the cake was served. The soft drinks were cheap enough, and everything else could be bought at the bar by the guests. We informed our guests of the drinks situation, so they could bring cash if they felt they'd need it.

I hope that helps x

Helaina: I do agree that people can go crazy, but honestly, I've been to open-bar events with the same crowd as is coming to our wedding and in general, people were more reserved if anything, and conscious of looking like they were taking the p*ss (and that was a fully-open bar, no restrictions).

That said, I see your point; and I think in our case it wouldn't be people going crazy for the sake of it/to take the p*ss, but more that people might see that, say, Grey Goose is included and think 'Ooh, I've always meant to try that; I might get one and see if it really does taste better seeing as it's free!' and it not cross their mind that actually it isn't 'free', someone (ie my parents!) is paying for it.

Erin: Yeah I think I probably have lol. I think we'll probably start with just beer, wine and soft drinks and if there's loads left at say 11pm, open it up to include other drinks. Or, like others have said, my dad can always get drinks for people on the tab (though my worry with that is that it might look like favouritism and people might be put out if he's going out of his way to just get a handful of people spirits; that's also why we won't give my MOH a tab as such, we'll just give her cash so that no-one knows).