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Wedding Forum - Am I overreacting?...

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  1.  
    • ElizabethS30
      CommentAuthorElizabethS30
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    Hiya everyone, this is a bit of a long one.
    My H2B informed me the other day that he was told that it's customary for our parents to invite people to the ceremony who have "helped us a lot". Now I really can't think of anyone who has helped us in any way who we wouldn't be inviting anyway (his grandparents have done loads for us, but of course they're already invited). I have no worries about my parents inviting anyone as they've always been very relaxed and appreciate that it's really our decision but I'm not too sure about his family. I've said that under no circumstances do I want anyone at the ceremony that we don't know, I don't mind in the evening so much but the ceremony is the most important part of the day and I don't feel comfortable having strangers there.

    On top of this we would be able to get a great deal on a package with our preferred venue for a smaller wedding, which we've already come up with a guest list for. We are planning on paying for everything ourselves and wouldn't really be able to afford our preferred venue without the small wedding deal.

    He keeps repeating that it's "customary", am I over reacting by saying no to any extras in the day?
  2.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I think it depends who they are wanting to invite, personally I wouldn't react to it until you have more info :)

    Members signature icon
    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yep, i would see how they instead to invite first. Has one of the parents mentioned it to him or just someone he knows? It might be that the parents are not even considering doing this

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • CatherineR
      CommentAuthorCatherineR
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It may have been customary back in their day, but not now. Neither sets of our parents would dream of doing that as they know it's our day. When they got married, their parents did the majority of the planning, arranged everything and said what happens. When my Grandma got married, she didn't get any say in who attended, was told what to wear and was instructed as to what was going to happen on her wedding day - a little different to now! If the parents really want to invite people, tell them ok but you are picking up the bill! xx

    Members signature icon
    Married my wife on 15.08.15
    Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)

  5.  
    • CamilaL
      CommentAuthorCamilaL
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Mum is always saying that the parents should have a word on who is gonna be invited. They are paying for the wedding, but I still disagree and my parents are not allowed to invite people on their own, without asking me. My OH's family is another situation. I don't know who we will be invited from his family, most of cousins and uncles don't get in contact very often. So, I'm asking his parents who they think we must to invite, since we have no idea about what to do. I've talked to h2b, and he agrees with me that we shouldn't have people we don't know at the wedding, so I think it will be alright.
    Wait until you hear from them who they want to invite.
  6.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 8th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think it sounds like someone has mentioned this to him so now he's bringing it up with you. My parents in law gave us £6000 towards our wedding but didn't ask for anyone to be invited. They still completely left the guest list down to us having people we know there. My parents didn't ask either x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  7.  
    • ElizabethS30
      CommentAuthorElizabethS30
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi! Thanks for the replies. We've spoken to H2B's mum and she did have suggestions but turns out he had already put them on the guestlist anyway. So it turns out there's nothing to worry about :)
  8.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
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    Ahhh that's good then.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  9.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
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    Glad to hear :-)

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  10.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thats good to hear!! At least there is plenty of time in relation to the guest list - I started so early and have wrote and re-wrote the list so many times its unreal!! xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  11.  
    • CamilaL
      CommentAuthorCamilaL
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    That's good! :D
  12.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
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    Good to hear :) x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  13.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Dec 10th 2014
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    Customary doesn't mean you have to do it. Our parents were great, H2B's parents did suggest two couples, but said there was no pressure on us to invite them, and offered to pay for them.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

 
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