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Wedding Forum - Am I being unreasonable...

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  1.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    After all this crap about OH's stag do, in which he is really starting to pee me right off, I have told OH that I am not allowing his "best man" to make a speech.
    Not only has this man tried to come between us for 12 years but all this stuff with the stag do has really got me at the end of my tether.
    My Dads not with us anymore which really limits the speeches to OH and me, our wedding is late 4pm onwards, food at 6pm. I want to use the time scale as an excuse but OH thinks im being unreasonable.
    (If you read previous posts you'll understand why I cannot stand this mine)
    Any advice??

    Members signature icon
    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  2.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
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    I don't think so. It would be nice if the 2 of you just said a few words to thank everyone but it doesn't have to be much x

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  3.  
    • PaulaM99
      CommentAuthorPaulaM99
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It's yours and your h2b's wedding day, anything you want to do should be up to you. I think it would be lovely and something a bit different having just you and hubby do the speeches.

    One thing I have come to realise throughout this whole wedding planning process is.... sod what anyone else thinks/says, have it your way! you pay all this money, put up with all the stress and ultimately you should get what you want from the day.

    The best man has been a right pain for you and I would just be brave and make it clear that it's only gonna be you two standin up to talk. Put a positive spin on it by saying "at least you won't have to worry about speech nerves" :P xx
  4.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
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    I read your other post about your h2b's stag, I would be furious and I don't think id allow it, he shouldn't be going knowing how it makes you feel anyway. But its probably his best man pressuring him etc.

    I would definitely not have him do a speech, just you 2 saying a few words makes it more intimate and personal, without him making stupid jokes or saying anything that will be rude.

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  5.  
    • StephH96
      CommentAuthorStephH96
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Don't have any formal speeches during the meal as such. Maybe something during the evening do both of you take the mike to say aquick thanks to the guests and bridal party.
  6.  
    • AnikaM60
      CommentAuthorAnikaM60
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would really feel the same and not want him to make a speech. I dont even see why he would want to either since he has clearly tried to hurt your relationship so many times before. I dont think your being unreasonable at all. The speeches are all part of your wedding video too so everytime you watch youll have him on there. I would not be ok with this at all. I would talk to oh. Its not a bad compromise. Hes going on on this stag so you should be able to put your foot down with this. It both your day. Not just yours and not just his.
  7.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks girls, defo going to take your advice. The more I think about it the happier I am to just have a few words from us both as Mr&Mrs :-)
    My foot will be firmly down.

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    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  8.  
    • LeanneR0186
      CommentAuthorLeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 1st 2016
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    The Richardson's 31/12/16


  9.  
    • DanielleG93
      CommentAuthorDanielleG93
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    good on you stephanie, i wouldn't want him to do a speech either if i was you, that man gets on my nerves and i don't even know him We are not having speeches (as such) either on our day as my dad has passed away and i don't want someone else to take his spot (if that makes any sense) i think my h2b is going to get up and thank everyone for coming but thats it

    Members signature icon
    Mrs Barlow to-be
    2nd September 2017

  10.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 4th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think its nice to just have the Groom say a few things, I kid you not he pulled his face when I sat him down and told him BM wasnt making a speech.
    I hit the roof, I said I was sick of his attitude towards his BM and putting me second. He said it was "traditional" for the best man to make a speech, said I didnt care and told him thats the way it was.

    Cant believe he had the cheek to try and second guess me after all this. Grr.

    Members signature icon
    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  11.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jul 4th 2016
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    Think I would feel exactly the same way TBH. so don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Besides, it's yours and H2B's wedding so do it they way you're both comfortable with. A simple thanks from you both to your family and guests and bridal party would be nice but you don't have to do speeches if you don't want to. If I were in your position I would be worried about the content of the BM speech.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  12.  
    • DanielleG93
      CommentAuthorDanielleG93
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i would of hit the roof too also i can be a bit petty so i would of informed him that 'traditionally' stags didnt go abroad either MEN eh!

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    Mrs Barlow to-be
    2nd September 2017

  13.  
    • NicoleW665
      CommentAuthorNicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    ha I hate when they pull the tradition card, hardly any weddings are traditional these days! I agree with you Stephanie, he's lucky the bloke is even at the wedding in my eyes. I feel for you I really do, reading your posts I just think thank goodness my OH's friends aren't like that. I hate that you're in this position.

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
  14.  
    • StephanieM158
      CommentAuthorStephanieM158
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jul 5th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks girls!

    I cant wait until his stag is out of the way and then he can stop with this silly behaviour!

    Just like I thought, its lucky he's even there in the first place and I laughed at the fact he said "tradition", I stayed calm and collected but inside I was brimming with frustration at the fact he didnt just put me first for once. Im not a selfish person, normally we do our own thing with no complaint from the other side but at the moment he's just really pushing my buttons.
    This time in two weeks his stag will be over and hopefully I will start getting my man back again.

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    Met 2004
    Engaged 2014
    Getting Married 2016
  15.  
    • DanielleG93
      CommentAuthorDanielleG93
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Jul 6th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    they do say weddings bring out the worse in people, i hope he sorts himself out when he gets back and you can get back to how you were. i would be frustrated too your doing a fab job at keeping it all together though hun x

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    Mrs Barlow to-be
    2nd September 2017

 
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